Page 96 of As the Rain Falls (Sainte Madeleine #1)

MIDNIGHT CONVERSATIONS

Beckett

It’s late now, far past nine. I know that much because it’s way too dark outside for it to be otherwise, but I can’t tell the exact hour. I tried to check with my phone, only to realize that the battery had gone off sometime after I got home.

“It’s almost midnight,” Cassandra whispers into the dark.

I glance at her, noticing the way she’s keeping her knees to her chest, seated in front of me. “How do you know?”

She smiles and says, “There’s a clock right behind you.”

I’m seated on her bed, back resting against the door frame, trying to figure out what to do now that we’re both stuck here for the night. She raises a finger to the wall behind me, and I tilt my head up, searching for it, only to find a flower-shaped object stuck to the wall.

Once I focus hard enough, I hear the mechanical sound coming from it. The clock is ticking steadily, marking each second that passes. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I wet my lips, my gaze drifting back to her. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“I know. You’re too distracted.”

“I really am.”

By you , is what I don’t add.

Her smile widens, and she dries her face with the back of her hand.

“I bought it at this… at this store near the Chinese restaurant downtown. It’s my favorite street ever . There are a lot of cool stores, and Kayla and I go there to spend time together.”

I push my hair back, the short strands slipping from my grasp. “I know about this one. It’s my favorite restaurant in town, actually.”

“Mn. I’ve never eaten there; it’s way too expensive,” she admits, wincing when her touch is too strong against her swollen eye. “Fuck, I always forget not to go at it with a heavy hand.”

“You need to put some ice on your face.” I clear my throat. “Here, let me help you.”

I push her hand aside and dry the rest of her tears myself, carefully avoiding any regions that are too hurt. A front piece of her hair falls when she tilts her head down, and I pick it up, toying with the golden charms.

“Kayla doesn’t know,” I realize. Her head snaps back up, eyes watching me closely. “She really doesn’t have a clue, does she?”

“Not really,” Cassandra denies it quickly, looking ashamed of herself.

“Her mother’s a lawyer,” I tell her. “She has good contacts.”

“I know that.”

“She could really help you,” I point out, wanting her to be smart about this. The faster she gets help, the better her chances are.

“I can’t go against my parents, Beckett. I have nowhere else to go.” She rolls her eyes at me. “Don’t you get it? They’re my family. I’m alone without them.”

“They’re not your family, not if they’re letting him hurt you like this,” I argue, understanding things a little better now that I’m feeling calmer.

If I’m assessing this situation right, Cassandra was made to believe that she needed to keep pretending her own brother isn’t hurting her. But what about her body? How can she pretend he isn’t coming close to killing her?

“Show me your ribs.”

“No.” She squeezes out, shrinking into herself. “You’ve seen enough.”

I sigh, watching her carefully.

“You’re not alone, though,” I whisper back, sitting up and reaching for her hands, intertwining our fingers together. “I’m right here with you.”

Her lips part, a hint of a grateful smile starting to form. It drops quickly when I ask her my next question.

“Did your father see him doing this to you?”

Cassandra stays quiet, and a last thread of hope fizzles out inside of me when she nods after a while.

“He… He woke up because of the noise Nathaniel was making. He came down the stairs, and I was crying. I was crying so hard. He just… I don’t know. He kind of just looked the other way.”

I absorb every detail she gives me, trying to memorize exactly what happened to her. It’s important that I remember this, in case anyone asks me later.

“My grandpa used to beat him really hard, you know? He thinks it’s normal to do that if one of us does something wrong,” she explains, letting me into he fucked-up family dynamics for the very first time.

My thumb traces slow patterns against her skin, holding her through her confession, keeping her here even as her mind clearly fights her.

“Dad never had any reasons to beat me before, but this time I must’ve messed up too badly, because he seems to be so angry at me. I think that’s why he didn’t say anything at all.”

“Because of what happened with Laura the other day?” I ask, and her eyes shine with the deepest regret. Cassandra nods, and my heart shatters. What happened wasn’t even her fault. “Did they even try to listen to your side of the story?”

“It’s not about that,” she tells me, shifting to get herself in a more comfortable position. When I don’t seem convinced, she deadpans. “It’s a Catholic school, Beckett. How do you think my father looks now that there are pictures of me half-naked everywhere?”

“Fuck, yeah. Okay.” I make a funny face, considering her explanation. “Point taken?”

She cracks a smile, then, almost amused. Then, her hand rises, fingers softly brushing against my face.

“You really do care about me.” Cassandra smiles sadly and takes a deep breath, warming up to the fact. “And I really am your friend, aren’t I?”

“Cass, please. You’re one of my best friends these days,” I breathe out, moving to pull her closer, wanting to soothe her before she starts crying again.“I missed you so much.”

“Really?”

“Come here, baby.” My legs part, and she kneels between them, eager for touch. I press a quick kiss to the side of her face, bringing her to my chest. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

“Because I think it’s all my fault this time around. That my brother is right,” Cassandra whispers sadly, sounding so utterly lost. “And I’m too tired. I can’t even sleep anymore. I can’t close my eyes while Nathaniel is around the house because I’m scared he’ll get mad at me.”

I glance down, listening to her every word.

“Does he get mad at you very often?”

“Sometimes, when I do something wrong,” she admits, curving herself against me. I hold her tighter, keeping her safe while she confides her truth to me. “Other times, it’s just because he’s in a weird mood.”

“That’s not okay.”

She shifts again, trying to get a better look at me. I immediately press my lips to her forehead, then the sides of her face, and the corner of her mouth.Sweet, gentle kisses.I can’t help myself.I need to touch.I need to feel what’s happening, feel the damage.

“I know.” She nods, coming to the realization that I’m right.

The disappointment creeps in, and I watch her swallow it down, trying to keep her resentment tamed. She is the strongest, most selfless person I’ve ever met, but it’s unhealthy if she’s willing to protect him.

“I still think he has point, though. It’s my fault if he’s going to lose his job.” Cassandra makes a low sobbing sound while gripping me tighter. “We’ll lose everything because of me, right? And then—”

“That’s not entirely true,” I cut her off, aiming to reassure her. “They can’t just break a contract like that. At worst, he’ll have to go back to teaching.”

“Dad doesn’t want that. It’s too beneath him.” She shrugs. “And we have so many bills to pay.”

Her sick grandmother.

Right.

“Beckett… I could sneak you once they go sleep, but… Will you stay?” she asks me with a hopeful tone, leaning closer. “Please? Just… Just tonight?”

“I’m not leaving you.” I promise, frowning as she relaxes. “Cassandra, you can come to my house whenever you want. Don’t sleep here if you don’t feel like it, okay? I have extra rooms. Or you can call me; I can stay with you on the phone.”

Cassandra blinks fast, startled.“Really? You’d do that for me?”

I’d do anything , I realize very quickly. And let her do anything to me, too .

I push the thought down, keeping it locked in my chest. What Angelina told me about not being so eager is turning out to be useful.

“Yeah.” I nod quickly.

“That’s so good.” She smiles sadly. “Because I’m so tired.”

“Cass…” My heart shatters in my chest. “Why don’t you rest a little for now? While I’m here?”

With her face so swollen and the skin under her eyes so dark and puffy, she looks exhausted.I watch her yawn before hiding her face against my shirt. The fabric creases under her grip. Her words are slurred, betraying how she really feels about tonight.

“I can stay up if that means I get to talk to you a little more.”

But she’s half-asleep already, barely keeping herself awake. I bring the covers up to her shoulders, covering my body and hers, before turning off the small lamp she keeps next to the bed.

“You can talk to me whenever you want.”

“Even after you eventually leave Port des Ondes?”

I wince, remembering one of our past conversations.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Not as long as she’s still stuck here. No matter what happens, I can’t let them hurt her ever again.

“Okay, Becky.” She yawns again, and I bring her knuckles to my lips, taking the time to kiss them too. “I’m sorry about feeling happy that you’re stuck here tonight. I just really need you right now.”

Her last sentence causes a lump start to form in my throat.

“I know.”

Another tear falls, streaming down her face. I make it disappear, picking it up with my thumb. No one knocks on her door again, and the house falls into complete silence.

They don’t even care if she’s eaten or not , I realize. Her well-being matters very little to them.

“Night, Beckett.”

“Goodnight, Cass.”

The broken girl in my arms sleeps soundly, and I stay awake, listening, trying to decide what my next steps should be.