Page 61 of As the Rain Falls (Sainte Madeleine #1)

HELL IS HERE

Cassandra

Sainte Madeleine’s main currency will always be gossip. This is especially sad for girls like Angelina Cardoso—she’s everybody’s favorite topic.

It’s been a few weeks of watching this happen.

Each time the clock hits twelve o’clock, we have to witness her hesitation, standing still at the edge of the cafeteria, like she’s calculating which table she should be sitting at.

None of the girls are warming up to her sarcastic, grumpy ways, and the boys are not entirely charmed either.

She looks sickly, exhausted, and always a little out of it.

I feel bad about leaving her alone, but inviting her to sit with me would be fake. We’ve never been close like that. Besides, I don’t think Angelina likes me very much, which is fine. I also don’t like her either.

“It’s the bandages. She needs to take them off.” Kayla shoves another spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth, chewing slowly. “I mean, I get it. She probably fucked up her arms real bad after she you-know-what. It’s definitely throwing people off.”

“I don’t think it’s just the bandages,” Zacharias counters, taking a sip from his soda while glancing at her.

He and Kayla have this newfound friendship going on, and I wonder why that is. Though, I can’t say Alice feels the same.

The closer Kayla gets to Zacharias, the further Alice drifts away from her. I barely see them talk anymore, at least not in class, and no matter how much Kayla tries to instigate little fights, provoking her with constant little jabs at every twist and turn, Alice just ignores her.

It’s too mature of a reaction. Something is definitely going on.

“It’s the whole coming-back-from-the-psych-ward thing that’s doing it,” I say, cutting into the conversation.

Nobody wants to befriend the town’s newest “psycho”.

Not that Angelina truly is one. I mean.We don’t even know what the doctors truly said about her. Maybe she was just sick for a while but isn’t anymore.Maybe it was just grief.

I cut another piece of my steak, poking it with my fork before setting it aside.

My full plate makes me nauseous, and I glance from our table to the empty one across the room.

Angelina sits alone, four vacant seats around her that would’ve been taken a few months ago.

It bothers me that they aren’t. Everyone is acting like she’s contagious because her life isn’t as easy as it used to be anymore.

I wonder where Antony is right now.I know they used to be good friends before her stay at the hospital, and at least I hope they still are now that she’s coming back to school again.

“Alice is doing that thing again.” Kayla scoffs, waving her knife around. I send her a curious look, not knowing what she’s talking about. “She’s been talking about Angelina all day long, laughing at her answers, even when the teacher is looking. It’s so childish.”

No shit, Sherlock . I want to say. It’s because she can’t laugh at you anymore .

Kayla never brings up Alice unless it’s to complain about her. Whatever history lingers between them, it can’t be a good one. She won’t talk about the fundraiser either, no matter how much I’ve asked her about it.

“It’s mean, even I have to say so,” Zach agrees, ginger hair parted in the middle, clinging to his forehead. “And Angelina never fights back, which makes it ten times worse.”

“That too.” Kayla clicks her tongue, taking another full bite. “I’d much prefer if she actually said something. Watching her take it is just sad. It’s like watching a puppy getting kicked.”

Zach grins, finding humor in this terrible situation. “More like a black cat getting stepped on.”

“Speaking of the devil,” I mumble to myself, barely registering their words because, across the room, Alice is rising from her seat. She walks up to Angelina’s table, making a few heads turn her way as she walks there too.

Alice’s ballerina legs draw attention as her skirt rises up to her thighs.

Most girls add some little twist to their uniforms, something to make the boring clothes more like their own, but Alice doesn’t.

She likes to keep herself pristine and classic, wearing little to no make-up or jewelry, and the only pop of color I ever see is the sky blue bow tying up her front pieces together at the back of her head.

Even with her insane dance schedule, not an ounce of tiredness shows on her face.

The minimal look really works for her.

It’s the face, I think. She does have a pretty face.

Her features are very symmetrical, which makes them nice to look at at first glance. With a petite pale mouth and dark cold eyes, Alice is always looking like she might be glaring at someone or feeling upset about something.

It’s impressive; I know a perfectionist when I see one.

The problem with Alice is that with the way she can’t seem to find it in her to be kind to anyone for long, I can tell it’s all fake.

Her calmness starts to seem more rehearsed if you look close enough to see the cracks.

Deep down, she’s always one second away from snapping.

Once you’ve seen the meanness she keeps inside is just a way to cope, her attempts turn bleak, too.

It’s always fun to watch from afar, though, as someone who never really got close enough to mean something important to her. Who even is she when the lights are completely off and no one is watching? And, maybe, more importantly—

Who am I to even ask that?

It’s not like I am doing any better on my end of things.

“Are you guys seeing this?” I snort, hiding my full mouth behind my hand. Kayla’s eyes narrow, following my gaze.

“What is she doing?” She gasps.

Alice leans down, closer to Angelina, reaching out to pat her arm condescendingly. She ends up saying something we don’t get to hear, and I brace myself for the other girl’s reaction.

“Ah, shit;” Zacharias facepalms. “Here we go again.”

To her credit, it does take more than a second for Angelina to snap. The sound of Alice’s shriek pierces through the air as she grabs her wrist and slams it against the table repeatedly.

My hand flies to my mouth. “Oh my—”

“Don’t touch me again!” Angelina grits out, her lips paling as she adds. “You hear me, you dumb fucking bitch? Don’t you ever touch me again!”

The room goes silent, and so do we.

All chaos breaks loose.

Before I know it, Kayla shoots up from her seat, rushing towards Alice, and I’m right behind her, trying to keep her away from the fight.

“What are you doing?” Kayla thrashes against me. “We have to stop her!”

“Let me go!” Alice screeches loudly, yanking at Angelina’s grip to free herself. “You’re crushing my fucking bones, you freak!”

My gaze flickers to the nearest supervisor, but Mr. Fernandez is talking to kitchen staff, flirting with one of the ladies. He’s also the only one working at this time of day.

I pull Kayla towards me.

“Kissing her is one thing, but picking up fights on her behalf?” My friend looks like I’ve just slapped her in the face. I try to soften my words, but they still come out harsh. “Last time you got suspended for an entire season. Wasn’t it enough?”

I might not be the smartest person in the room, but I’m also not about to let my friend make the same mistake twice.

Alice and Kayla are from rival dance teams, and they aren’t willing to play fair about it competing against each other. Last year they faced each other twice. Kayla lost the first competition, but Alice fell out of her turns during her second solo because she felt too lightheaded .

Right.

She lost by half a point, and Kayla may-or-may-not have bragged too much about it, which in turn made Alice lose her cool. Her outburst caused a huge fight, which cost Kayla first place in that competition and a suspension.

It was the worst day ever .

The whole thing was just as unfair as it was devastating.

I’m fine with them liking each other, happy about Kayla trying to figure herself out even, as long as it doesn’t get her in trouble. She’s still my best friend, and I care about her, even if I’m not the best at showing it all the time.

“Who fucking cares?” Her jaw clenches, worried gaze landing on Alice once more. “We need to stop her!”

Angelina pulls her hair, yanking Alice forward. Alice swats at her sides, landing three solid slaps. The sounds that echo from them are loud enough to cause her to flinch.

“Let me fucking go, Cassandra!” Kayla’s nails dig into my arm, but I don’t loosen my grip. “She’s going to rip her apart!”

“Angelina can hold her own,” I remind her.

“Not her!” Kayla fights off my grip. “I’m talking about Alice. Look at her, she can’t fight!”

It’s the way she says it, something fragile and so deeply affected, that makes me pause. I’ve spent a lifetime watching Kayla defend me, never questioning if I deserved it or not. I finally let her go as guilt pools in my stomach.

She doesn’t waste a single second and just rushes towards the fight, pushing through the crowd of students slowly gathering, breaking in just as Antony tries and fails to pull Angelina off Alice.

“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“Deixa as duas brigarem!”

“Cala a boca, Renato!” Mateo also steps in, facing the brunette girl. “Let her go!”

“The fuck?” Angelina spits. “Whose side are you on?”

“What kind of question is that? Yours, angel.” Mateo steps forward, getting in her face. “Don’t you know that by now?”

Simple words that make Angelina freeze. He blocks her way, not touching her, not even daring to lay a finger on her. Mateo just plants himself, watching her expectantly, opening his arms slightly in case she tries something. He is shielding her, scared that she might get hurt.

The supervisor finally comes out of the kitchen, clapping his hands together.

“Break it up, break it up!”

Angelina deflates at the sound of his voice, her face paling as she finally notices what’s really happening around her. It’s like watching a protective spell break, the way adrenaline dies out and dread comes back to haunt her.

“I…” she trails off, desperately looking around.

This girl is trying to find a way out.

“What happened here?” Mr. Fernandez asks, turning to Alice.

“She fucking grab—”

“There’s nothing going on.” Mateo cuts her off.

His voice is cold but steady, making him look more like the boy who spoke to me in class about Caleb and less like the goofy version of himself he pretends to be.

“This is all just a big misunderstanding. Right, Angelina?”

Even from afar, I can see the way her body is trembling. She grips her bandages like a tortured animal that’s about to break loose, wanting to tear the fabric away from her body. It’s like she wants us to see all the scars hidden underneath, see exactly what’s been done to her.

“Ms. Cardoso?” Mr. Fernandez prompts with a lot of suspicion.

Alice hisses, “Say something, bitch!”

“Mateo is right. Everything’s fine,” Angelina blurts out, protectively pressing her hands to her chest. “Alice and I were just talking.”

The bell rings. Our eyes meet. She flinches, like she’s seen a ghost. I don’t make a move, but the hair at the back of my neck starts rising. Mr. Fernandez isn’t buying any of it.

“Both of you. Principal’s office. Now!”

Mateo steps forward, pulling Angelina into a hug. “But sir, we just told you—”

“Mr. Rivera gets to figure this out, not you.” The supervisor turns towards the rest of us, the audience still watching. “Everybody, back to class. Right now, come on! Back to class!”

The students scatter.Kayla walks back to our table to grab her backpack. The expression on her face is one of disappointment and confusion, and I can tell she’s worried about Alice now.

I don’t know why, though.

There’s no way in hell Alice will get more than maybe a few days of suspension for misbehavior. And I’ve seen her do a lot worse over the years to other people, going as far as threatening them. I still remember how she pushed a boy down the stairs after he tried to kiss her on the cheek.

“Kayla! Where are you going?” She doesn’t even look back. I race after her quickly, leaving our plates behind. “Hello? I asked you a question!”

“Principal’s office,” she snaps. “Where else?”

My lips purse. “But why? I don’t get it!”

“It’s not for you to get, Cassie.” My friend just shakes her head. “And I know you’re right about the dance thing; I know she’s in the wrong right now. I’m not asking you to agree with me, but I’m asking you to drop it.”

“Kayla!” I groan. “Is she really that worth it to you?”

“Please, I…” She looks torn. “I can’t leave Alice all alone, okay? I just… can’t.”

My eyebrows shoot up, understanding dawning on me that she really means it. Kayla’s trying to be nice, do the right thing when it concerns Alice for once.

“But why?”

“It’s none of your business.”

I flinch, startled by the harshness in her voice.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, but right now, she’s going to be alone.” Kayla’s gaze drops to the floor, cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay, Kay-Kay.” I nod. “Text me after, alright?”

“I will.” A weak smile tugs at the corner of her lips, uncertain and weak. “I promise.”

I’m pretending to understand, but Kayla and I haven’t been talking much these days unless it’s superficial conversation about Caleb and school. I don’t know what’s going on with her anymore, and she doesn’t know everything that’s going on with me, either.

Though maybe it’s for the best that she doesn’t , I think to myself. By keeping her away from my mess, she becomes the only thing that’s left untainted. I’d rather go through all the pain a thousand times than to ever allow my friend to be in the same position I am.

A bit of distance. And this is not the first secret I keep from her, anyway. Even if it hurts a little, Kayla deserves to be worried about far more than me, and it’s time that I accept that.