Page 109 of As the Rain Falls (Sainte Madeleine #1)

“A seventeen-year-old girl isn’t the one who’s sneaking into your bed. You’re also clearly not the one being manipulated.” He opens a drawer and takes out a cigar. “You know how it’ll look, don’t you? When I tell everyone you’re just twisting her thoughts? Playing with her mind?”

“Spare me the intimidation tactics. I’m not fifteen anymore, Miguel. I know better than that now.” I lean back, unimpressed. “You, of all people, don’t get to play that card with me. Not after what you’ve done to her.”

“You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about, coming here thinking you can threaten me.

I practically raised you, Beckett.” Rivera lights up the cigar, takes a long drag, and watches me through the smoke.

“I know exactly what you’re made of, and you’re not nearly as tough as you’re pretending to be right now.

You’re less like your father and a lot more like your pathetic, depressed mother. Weak.”

My jaw tightens. The air around us stills, the ashy smell burning my nostrils until all I can feel is my lungs suffocating.I don’t feel affected though. This man doesn’t know me, and he doesn’t know anything about my family either.

“You really don’t give a damn about her at all, do you?” I ask instead, my tone more bewildered than anything else. “Even after everything she’s done to protect you.”

“Protecting me?” He exhales another slow breath. “She’s the fucking source of every single one of my headaches these days.”

“You let that monster slip into her bed,” my voice rises. “No way in hell you didn’t know that he wanted to… to rape her!”

“We are a family.” Principal Rivera shakes the cigarette until the small bits of ash fall against the floor.

“A real family, nothing like yours, with parents who leave a week after their only daughter’s funeral.

Keeping him around or not isn’t optional, and it sure as hell keeps her quiet. Now, keeping her around…”

He laughs, then.It comes off mocking, and I grip the edge of the chair, restraining myself from hitting him.

“It keeps him in check, as surprising as it may seem. Nathaniel would’ve done a lot worse to a lot of little girls out there if she hadn’t been born. You should ask his grandmother. She knows all about it.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” I look away, feeling so nauseous. “How can you even sleep at night knowing that—”

“Do you know what a real sadistic person is?” he cuts me off, staring at me intently. “A real one. None of that fake, fucking TV bullshit. I’m talking about reality here, son.”

“I…”

“Nathaniel is hollow,” he emphasizes. “There’s nothing out there that can fix how fucked up his mind is. I saw it in his eyes when he was just a baby, you know? Just these two round green balls in the middle of his face, just like my father’s.”

He continues, his voice eerily calm.

“You were right about one thing. I do have a problem. Nathaniel is…” He chuckles and clicks his tongue. “Nathaniel is difficult. He isn’t easy to tame, but I tame him. I keep him in line.”

My mind rushes back to that night in her kitchen. How her face looked so hurt. He had to have kicked at her more than once to cause that amount of damage.

My lips part, forming the most obvious accusation. “You’re completely delusional if you think that you’re taming him. He could’ve killed her, and you would’ve done absolutely nothing to stop him!”

He shakes his head, eyes darkening.

“Both of my children were raised to know better, and yet both of them keep making mistakes. What? You think she’s innocent? Cassandra has all these rumors flying around about her, and no matter what I do, and trust me I do a lot, I can’t keep any of the kids quiet.”

“You don’t protect her.” I run a hand through my face, starting to feel nervous. It’s useless to argue with him. Principal Rivera is covering himself in this rope of self-sufficiency instead of admitting that he’s in way over his head at this point. “It’s almost laughable, really.”

“You think I sent him to Spain just for a vacation?” Mr. Rivera snorts. “I do care about my daughter, Beckett. I did it to keep the peace. We’re moving there permanently once Cassandra graduates.”

My head snaps back to him.

“What did you just say?”

“Four more months. That’s all you have to worry about.

With any luck, she’s graduating in only four months.

Her results are catastrophic, but I’ll push for her approval no matter what.

” He waves his hand around dismissively.

“What about this, huh? It’s not a lot of time to wait.

You get to keep her. I get to keep my job for a little longer. Everyone wins.”

“Have you lost your mind?” I shake my head, disgust curling in my gut. “She is not a bargaining chip!”

“You love her?” Mr. Rivera asks, raising a brow, like it’s just that simple. “Then, be a man, Beckett. Take her.”

I don’t have time to process his words before he sneers, his voice sharp and cold.

“It’s what’s going to happen anyway, isn’t it? God knows she could do a lot worse than a rich boy, what with not keeping her fucking legs closed for a second.”

Before I know it, I’m across the desk, my fist connecting with his jaw.

He stumbles back, hitting the table. The cigar falls, dropping to the floor, and the scent of burning polyester rises up to my nose.

Rivera straightens up slowly, pressing his palm against the side of my face as if to cup my cheek.

“I’ll forgive this.” He exhales, his tone measured. “You’re just a boy, Beckett. You have a lot of life to live, and you don’t want to throw away your future by meddling in a story that, speaking quite frankly, doesn’t concern you.”

I yank his hand away from me. “And you’re still the same selfish monster who forced a crying kid onto a stage because you wanted a fucking trophy. You, Principal Rivera, don’t care about anyone but yourself!”

Memories rush back to me.

Suddenly, it’s like the national mathematical olympiads happened yesterday. But I don’t want to think about any of it, though. I’m done crying about my childhood. I’m not a child anymore.

“It’s a wonder, really. How someone as good as her could come from someone like you.

” I pause, considering my next words. I don’t know whether I should say it or not, but before I can decide if it’s wise, my thoughts are spilling all out.

“One day, you’ll see yourself exactly as I’m seeing you now.

You’ll realize just how hollow you are inside, too.

Because you’re no better than he is, and you two deserve every single bad thing that’s coming for you. ”

My head starts to spin, then.A feeling of tightness and wrongness in my chest, taking root after realizing what’s been happening under my nose all along. How is this even allowed? He’s been working his entire life with children while also protecting a child molester and a rapist.

“You think you know what’s best?” He laughs, a dry, mocking sound. “You think you can go against me and win?”

I pick up Lucia’s box and turn towards the door.

“Beckett!”

I glance back, my expression unwavering. “Watch me.”

And then, I walk out, slamming the door behind me.