Page 69 of As the Rain Falls (Sainte Madeleine #1)

The minute stretches out uncomfortably, his question going unanswered. My mind is so far gone, downright spiraling.

He loves her. Deep down, I know he does. God, I couldn’t even keep his attention for more than a month. So, isn’t it weird that he just spent so much time getting himself off on top of me? Or is it just gross that I allowed him to do it?

Maybe both things are true.

Leave it alone, Cassie.

Leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone—

“I think that we should stop seeing each other,” I blurt out, frowning at the way people are now screaming downstairs.

Caleb bites my right earlobe, forcing me to lay back down. “You don’t mean that.”

I push him off me. “Yes, I do.”

He sighs, gaze darkening, “Cassandra, tell me why you’re acting like such a bitch again.”

“I’m not acting like a bitch.” I shake my head, pulling my hair back. He seems unconvinced. “I’m not.”

Caleb pulls away from me, shaking his head like he can’t believe that I’m pulling this move on him.

“Is this really about Maria or do you just not want to see me again?” he asks, not beating around the bush.

It’s both.

“I don’t know, Caleb. Don’t you think it might be about her just a little?” I cross my arms over my chest, hating how my dress sticks to my sweaty body now. “You’re telling me to leave because she’s coming to your cousin’s party. How am I not supposed to feel like your side piece?”

“That’s not what you are!” Caleb tries to convince me. “I just told you I love you!”

“You love me?” I scoff, finding his words somewhat funny.

What I truly need is not Caleb. He might want this to be real, but it isn’t.

I need something else. Someone else. Someone to speak words to me, healing words to soothe the hollow feeling in my chest. I don’t know why, but I’m crumbling tonight, and I miss…

I really miss Beckett.

I need to see him.

I need to talk to him.

Can I text him again?

No.

He can’t see me like that.

“You’re getting too ahead of yourself.”

“You don’t want me anymore?” Caleb stares at me, and I sense some surprise and vulnerability in his tone.

“No,” I whisper.

“No?”

I don’t miss a beat. “No.”

He touches my neck, smoothing the marks he left there. I catch a glimpse of something familiar in his eyes. Anger . It’s lying underneath other things, like desire and entitlement, but it’s there. And I don’t want Caleb to resent me, but maybe he will.

“Please, don’t get mad.”

He stands in the middle of the room, glaring at me. “So this is what we’re doing? We’re breaking things off?”

“I was never your girlfriend, Caleb.” I swallow hard. “There’s nothing to break off.”

“And you just want us to pretend this never happened?”

I blink hard, finding his words stupid.

“Of course.”

“But I love you!” he sighs, walking towards me and brushing his thumb over my cheek. “Cassandra, you don’t want to do this.’

“Stop touching me!” I raise my voice, slapping his hand away. “We’re not in love, Caleb. Get that through your thick head.”

Caleb’s eyes widen with surprise. My tone must have thrown him off.

“Okay. I will,” he promises, and I feel instant relief.

“Just leave me alone and I promise not to tell her.” I dry my tears, not knowing why I’m suddenly crying.

“I mean, you better not. If people found out, they’d take you for a skank.”

“I hope you know that’s fucked up.” I sit by the edge of the bed, watching him get ready to leave. “We did this together.”

“I mean, it’s the truth,” he snickers, stopping by the vanity and fixing his hair up. The black strands fall all over the place, and I regret gripping them so hard. It’s a little too obvious we just had sex. I must look crazy.

“I know.” I think back about our texts, the pictures we shared. It’s been a crazy month, but now I want to erase everything. “Delete the pictures.”

He needs to know I’m not about to let him keep anything hanging over my head. If we’re done, we’re done. I never want to hear about this again.

Caleb scoffs, gaze flickering back to me. “Now, that’s fucked up, Cassie. You think I’m some creep who’s going to spread them around?”

I roll my eyes. “What if she goes through your phone?”

“She’s not like that.”

It’s my time to scoff, too.

He knows she will. Any other girl would.

“You talked to Kayla.” He shakes his head, coming to the most obvious realization. “You had no problem with us doing our thing before. She’s such a fucking bitch.”

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that.” I rise from the bed, putting on my heels. “She’s my friend, and she only wants what’s best for me.”

“Okay, I get it. You’re right.” Caleb crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the bathroom door. “Just let me keep the pictures.”

“Caleb, no.”

He raises both his hands, waving me off. “You don’t want to do this anymore; that’s fine. But there’s no need to be so uptight about it.”

Uptight.

And that’s when I lose patience.

“You’re acting like a jerk, and for what?” I snap. “Because I told you I don’t want to fuck around anymore? Because I don’t want to ruin your relationship with Maria?”

“Now I’m the bad guy.” Caleb brushes it off. “It’s cool, man.”

“It’s not cool,” I insist, watching him carefully as he steps closer. “I want you to delete them.”

“Or what?” He raises a hand towards me, aiming for the handle of the door, and I know he is aiming for it, but my brain doesn’t compute. I completely misunderstand the gesture and end up closing my eyes and flinching on reflex.

Caleb pauses, unsure if he wants to laugh or not.

“Jesus, why the fuck are you flinching? I’m not going to beat you up, Cassandra. You know I don’t touch girls.”

I swallow hard.

I need to get out of here.

Caleb gives me one last glance, and all the warmth he might have felt towards me a couple of minutes ago has clearly evaded him. He unlocks the door and walks out. My eyes begin to water again.

I trace after him. “Caleb, hold on!”

“What else do you want? We’re done, right?” He spares me not a single glance, speaking louder because the music is drowning our voices. “The house is all yours, Cassandra. Go get a fucking drink or fuck someone else, but leave me the fuck alone! I don’t want to talk to you right now!”

My heart shatters as I watch him leave. I can’t find it in me to move.

He’ll come to reason later, but right now, Caleb is tired of me. Tired of my silly games. People get tired of me all the time, and so do I. I get tired of myself too.