Page 117 of As the Rain Falls (Sainte Madeleine #1)

UNTIL I AM NO LONGER

Beckett

Cassandra steps out of the bathroom wearing Angelina’s oversized purple pajama pants, tiny yellow chicks cutely tattered across the fabric, and one of my old school t-shirts.

Her dark blonde hair is twisted into a low bun, but she pulls it loose the moment she notices me and starts raking nervous fingers through the strands.

“Is he here?” her voice is quiet, her green eyes flickering towards the door. She crosses the room hesitantly, stopping at the edge of the bed where I’m sitting.

I nod. “Yeah, he is.”

Without any hesitation, she reaches for me, arms sliding around my neck. I pull her in, burying my face against her shoulder and neck.She smells like vanilla-scented soap, sweet and delicate, and my anger dissolves like it was never even there to begin with.

This is it.

She is all I need to feel okay again.

“You really hit him?” I hear Cassandra ask, her voice far away. “You hit Caleb… because of me?”

“For you,” I correct her, feeling her shudder in my arms, pressing closer, like she wants to disappear. “Don’t start blaming yourself for it. I take all the responsibility.”

“I’m not. I don’t even know what to say,” she admits, chuckling sadly. “I never thought you’d care enough. What Caleb did doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Yes, it does.” I say, not letting her underestimate just how terrible he made her feel.

It’s easy to put on rose-colored lenses now that a little time has passed. But her pain, that night? And how she cried herself to sleep in my bed?It was real , and I won’t let him keep a single piece of her.

“I’m not saying I don’t care.” She shrugs, smiling weakly. “I just thought this was another fight I wasn’t going to win.”

It’s been a long day.

We skipped our picnic—Angelina’s snacks were left untouched—and headed home straight after the parade. It wasn’t even a question whether we were going to do it or not. Getting Caleb out of our lives took priority over everything else.

“We’re fixing this,” I answer quickly, knowing Angelina might knock on the door soon. “Do you need another minute?”

“I don’t,” her voice sounds weak, completely drained of energy. When she pulls back, I see the exhaustion weighing on her. “I’m sorry about ruining the picnic.”

“You didn’t,” I try to reassure her, because it really wasn’t her fault. “It was all him.”

“If you say so.” Cassandra chuckles and cups my face, her touch grounding me to the present. “You should apologize to Angie. She worked really hard.”

“I will.”

Our foreheads touch, and I rein myself in, not letting the emotion overcome me. If I allow this painful feeling to take control, I won’t let her leave my sight ever again. I’ll keep Cassandra all to myself, far away from the people who keep trying to hurt her.

“I promise you, everything will be okay.”

“I know.” She tries to smile, but it falters. “I believe you.”

We stay close, trying to find strength in each other to keep going. I watch her carefully, attempting to figure her mind out. This girl sometimes makes me wish I had reading minds as a superpower, even though the idea seems really intrusive.

The truth is, I worry about the thoughts she keeps from me.

They’re the most dangerous ones.

“Let’s go?” I ask, and she lets out another shaky smile.

“Yes.” A pause. A breath. “Let’s do this.”

***

The group sits in tense silence, the only sound coming from Cassandra’s unsteady breath. Deleting the pictures is taking more time than expected—not because Caleb refuses to cooperate, but because Cassandra struggles to look at them.

Her fingers hover over the screen, swiping back and forth through the images like she can’t even recognize herself in them. Her face is tight with the effort of holding it together.

Angelina, who’s seated beside her, watches with quiet concern. She absentmindedly slides an ice pack to Caleb, barely paying attention to him.

“For your face, asshole.”

He shakes his head. “It’s cool. I’m all good.”

“No, you listen to her.” I insist, playing with my rings. “Ice it.”

Caleb straightens up, taking the ice pack and placing it over the swollen bump.

“Take your time, Cassie,” Angelina speaks up, but her voice is gentle as she addresses my girlfriend. “My mom won’t care about us being here as long as we clean up the kitchen.”

Antony sits stiffly across from me, his gaze locked on the wall. His thumb taps anxiously against the table, a nervous habit of his. Our eyes meet, and I mouth.

What’s wrong?

He just shakes his head.

Nothing .

“It’s done,” Cassandra finally announces a few minutes later, setting the phone down like it burns her. “Are you sure this is really everything?”

Caleb exhales sharply, “I’m not out to get you, okay? It wasn’t just a joke, Rivera. If I said this is everything, then it is.”

“Watch your mouth when you’re talking to her.” I snap, cracking my knuckles. My girlfriend shakes her head slightly—a silent request for me to stop. I immediately go quiet again.

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

Then, she rises unsteadily, sparing me one last hopeless glance before disappearing behind the door, shutting it softly.

Kayla and Mateo are whispering to each other in the kitchen, too far away for any of us to hear them. Angelina glances at them, then Caleb, her expression shifting between disappointment and anger.

She knows .

Whatever is wrong with Mateo…

She knows .

“Alright,” Antony exhales harshly, his voice cutting through the tension. I notice the way his fingers are now curling into the edge of the table, and his gaze slides from the bathroom door right back to Caleb. “All this because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”

“Tony.” I shake my head, staring as his knuckles whiten. “Let it go.”

He shakes his head, staring at the bathroom door again. There’s something in his eyes—regret, maybe?

It throws me off a little, but Antony has always been like this, quick to change his mind about people, volatile and impulsive.

“You got laid, it went bad. You went back to your girl. Cassie broke things off to save your ass,” he adds, tone sharp.

I start believing he might flip the table and beat Caleb half to death then.

“A real man would take it like a champ. But you? You whined, you lied, and you let a girl take the fall.”

Caleb swallows hard. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt her like that.”

Antony laughs bitterly.

“Yeah? Imagine if it had been!” He shakes his head. “You can’t do that to people, man. This isn’t a joke. Do you even know what they’re saying about her these days?”

“It’s not my fault,” Caleb mutters, shifting uncomfortably. “She’s been getting around too, you know?”

My patience snaps.

“Don’t,” I say, voice low. “Look, the only reason why I’m not letting this get out of hand again is because you’re still a minor.”

Mateo has a point.I can’t go around hitting people without expecting the police to knock on my door at some point, and I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with Cassandra.

Right now, I’m the only thing capable of preventing Nathaniel from touching her again. If I’m gone, I can’t even begin to wonder what her parents will do to her.

Caleb snorts, “Like you cared about that when you punched me in the face.”

“I didn’t punch you in the face.” I glance at Antony and Angelina. “Did I punch him in the face?”

She hides a grin behind her long sleeves. Antony leans back, hands behind his head.

“I don’t think so. At least I didn’t see it.”

“Hey guys!” I speak louder, addressing the people in the kitchen. “Did I punch anyone today?”

Mateo takes a sip of water, a weak smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Kayla rolls her eyes. “I haven’t seen you since last Saturday.”

Caleb blinks, staring at me again.

“Get out,” I tell him, pointing at the door. “You remember the way.”

He hesitates for a second before rising and sliding his phone into his back pocket. “Look, tell Cassie I’m sorry, okay? I’ll talk to Maria, smooth things over.”

Over my dead body I’ll be telling her that.

“There’s no need for that,” Angelina agrees, seemingly feeling the same way as I do. She walks him out with a disgusted look on her face. “I think we can all agree you’ve done enough.”

“Right,” Caleb nods. “I’m just gonna—”

She swings the door open for him. Caleb doesn’t finish his sentence before stepping through it.I stretch my leg, biting my thumbnail. Watching him walk away with just a few wounds entire thing is pissing me off again. He deserves far more for what he did to her.

“I need to hit him again,” I admit.

“No, you don’t,” Antony cuts me off. I frown at him, ready to speak up, but he only waves me off. “She needs you more.”

My head finally snaps towards him, eyes narrowing when I find him still staring at the bathroom door. I see the hurt in his eyes, the pain there strikingly familiar to me.

I’ve seen it before, and I know immediately what’s on his mind: my sister.Regret is definitely coming back to haunt him.I just don’t know why it’s happening this time around.

“Go talk to her.”

He tells me, but I’m already rising from my seat.

I enter the bedroom, closing the door shut behind me. Cassandra is curled up on the bathroom floor, her knees to her chest, face buried to keep the sobs from coming out.

Quietly, I slide down next to her, opening my arms to coax her into hugging me.“Come here.”

Her warmth engulfs me as she lets herself be pulled closer, and her scent—God, her whole being crashes into me.

“I hate him!” her voice is muffled against my neck. “I hate him so much!”

“I know.”

“What if… What if they laughed at me because of it?” she chokes out, sounding scared and insecure. “Just like… Just like Laura and the others did.”

“Then they’re stupid as hell, Cass,” I hesitate before pulling her back a little to wipe her tears. “And you shouldn’t be listening to them, okay?”

“But it’s all because…” her cries intensifies, tension making her body straighten against mine. “All because I’m not that pretty. I’m… my body is just so… I feel so completely ruined .”