Page 24 of As the Rain Falls (Sainte Madeleine #1)

PLANTING SEEDS OF DECEPTION

Cassandra

“Are you not going to get the dog?” Nathaniel asks me, lifting his coffee mug and taking a long sip.

He likes his coffee black, hot, and bitter, which is completely blasphemous, but I guess a guy like him could never have a sweet tooth like I do.My usual coffee order always tastes like a dessert.

“I will,” I answer, setting a dog toy from the convenience store near Sainte Madeleine on top of the blanket pile. “I just want everything to be perfect first, before he gets here.”

I rearrange the blankets over our couch again, making sure everything feels cozy enough to welcome Pepé this afternoon.

My brother sits at the dining table, typing away at his laptop, his fingers moving rhythmically across the keyboard.

I tried making conversation earlier today, but he barely glanced at me.

We’re alone because Dad left early for brunch with some of his church friends. He invited me to tag along, but the thought of enduring an afternoon of prayer and thinly veiled gossip wasn’t nearly as tempting as playing with my neighbor’s dog. I’m so excited about bringing Pepé home.

“I still don’t know why you’re doing this.”

“Beckett asked for a favor,” I explain with a shy smile on my face. “I figured since he’s always driving me to school, I could watch over the dog a few times.”

“I don’t like you being friends with him,” Nathaniel warns me. “You know how guys usually are.”

“I think I’m old enough to decide whether I want to befriend someone or not, thanks.” I roll my eyes and flip my long hair back. “And whether I want to date Beckett or not is also none of your business.”

Truthfully, I am hesitating on what to do.Should I text Beckett or just knock on his door?

He did tell me to text, but that feels so impersonal, and knocking, on the other hand, is bold, but maybe too straightforward. I guess I could send him a text, but the thought of it makes me totally nervous. We’ve never done that before, at least, not really.

Like, what if I say something stupid and mess it up?What if I end up sounding ridiculous?

“Date? You’re just taking care of his dog, Cassandra,” my brother scoffs. “Don’t embarrass yourself.”

It’s the same tone he’s always used against me, like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. If I try to look back on our childhood together, Nathaniel always acted like I was an annoying little kid. Thank God I don’t remember much, or else I’d have serious self-esteem issues.

“So what?” I plant my hands on my hips, glaring at him. “I want Beckett’s dog to feel as happy here as he feels over there.”

“Beckett doesn’t even like you.” He shakes his head incredulously and goes back to typing. “You’re so desperate.”

“And you don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snap back, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“Yes, I do.” Nathaniel glares at me, as if disgusted. “You’ve always had this stupid crush on him. Like, you’ve been trying since fucking kindergarten and he never looks your way.”

I frown, not remembering what he’s talking about.

“Watching him run around, trying to get Mom to allow you to go to sleepovers at his house.”

“I played soccer too, Nathaniel.” I look away, drifting my attention back to the pillows again.

“Yeah, sure. But you only played because of him.”

My heart skips a beat, and I have to force myself not to squirm.

“Who even cares? I was, what, four in kindergarten?”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cassandra.” Nathaniel waves a dismissive hand. “Stop talking to me, I’m working.”

“Right,” I snort, dragging the word out in a mocking way. “Working.”

“You should go get the dog before Dad changes his mind.”

“I don’t think he will.” I adjust another pillow on the couch, unsure if the angle is right. “Dad said I’m allowed to bring him to the house as long as Pepé stays out of Mom’s closet.”

I spray more lavender room perfume around, and Nathaniel sneezes seconds later. My brother glares at me then, looking like I’ve just committed a crime, and I grin happily. He is severely allergic to the flower.

“Did you even know that the dog is not his?” he says, voice low and pointed.

Nathaniel is clearly just trying to find something to argue about, and if the conversation wasn’t about Beckett, I probably would’ve ignored him entirely. I just don’t like how he’s trying to antagonize my friend.

“What?” I frown. “Of course, he is.”

“Nope,” Nathaniel insists, his tone certain, leaving no room for questioning. “Beckett is acting all worried now, fake as he is, but back in the day he really hated Pepé.”

“Oh, really?”

“They got him as a puppy for Lucia specifically. Beckett wanted no dogs around the house. She even used to walk him around the block every night, while he wouldn’t touch him with a pole.”

“Okay.” I roll my eyes before spraying more lavender out of spite.“And why should I care?”

“Because you always think he’s so good, don’t you?

You just have so much in common,” he scoffs, reading what’s on his screen instead of looking at me.

“Well, I watched her playing ball with the dog from my window upstairs, and I know better than to believe he ever gave a fuck. Beckett was never there to help. Lucia took care of everything herself.”

My hand freezes mid-air.I lower the bottle, placing the product back on the coffee table, and turn around to ask him.

“You watched her?”

Nathaniel glances at me sideways, his green eyes narrowing.

“What?”

“You said you watched her walk the dog,” I state, recalling what he just told me.

He blinks, his face unreadable.

“Did I? I don’t think I did.”

“You just did,” I emphasize.

“What I meant is that I saw them sometimes, in passing. I made my own conclusions from that point,” Nathaniel elaborates, a slow, coy smile stretching across his lips. “What were you thinking? That I was ogling our teenage neighbor?”

My lips part, but I’m unable to say a word.

“God, are you slow, or what?” he laughs harder. “Don’t make it sound weird, Cassandra.”

“I wasn’t,” I stay collected, knowing exactly what I heard. “I was just asking a question.”

“This is stupid.” He shuts his laptop and rises from his seat. “We both know you’re not the brightest, so stop trying to come up with theories to make me sound like the bad guy here. I’m just watching out for you.”

“What’s your problem?” I ask, my voice rising. “Beckett’s done nothing to you. Hell, I’ve done nothing to you either.”

“You’re just so delusional,” he curses, grabbing his jacket and throwing it over his shoulders quickly. “If you think he wants you for anything other than sex, then you’re wrong. Every single guy who talks to you just wants to fuck you. I’ve told you that.”

The words hit me like a punch in the guts. I flinch, but barely find the strength to do anything other than stare at him. Is this all is he sees in me? Does he think that I’m sleeping with multiple guys when no one is looking? I’d never do that. I don’t even think I want to have sex anytime soon.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you when he makes you come home crying.”

“Wait! Where are you going?” I stare as he picks up the keys to the car and twists them between his fingers, rolling his keychain around his knuckles. “Dad said he wanted you to be around the house when I brought Pepé over to help me get him settled.”

“I’m meeting a friend for drinks.” Nathaniel stops by the door and glances at his watch. “It’s important.”

“This is also important,” I answer petulantly, my voice sounding smaller than I want it to.

Maybe Pepé is just a dog, and to others it might mean nothing, but this feels like a big deal to me.

“Nathaniel, you promised to drive me if I ever needed to until I get my license.”

Despite what happened before, Pepé is still Lucia’s dog. Allowing me to watch him is definitely a sign that Beckett trusts me, and I really want him to know I’ll have his back no matter what.

I can’t help but think that maybe he is starting to consider me as a close friend, and I don’t want to disappoint him. I want us to be closer; I feel like I really need this to happen, stupid crush aside.

Besides, I really need to visit a bigger store to buy a few more things, like dog treats and shampoo.

“You’ll manage.” He unlocks the door, not bothering to look at me. “I won’t be back for dinner, so don’t wait for me.”

“Nathie, wait!”

The door slams behind him.I curse under my breath, hating that he just left me to deal with all this alone. But am I surprised? Not really.

Being Nathaniel’s sibling means losing more often than winning. At least he didn’t slap me in the face this time around, which, knowing him, he probably thinks I deserved for daring to point out the obvious.

If Nathaniel was really watching Lucia, I can’t help but wonder where else his eyes might’ve wandered to.

It’s never just about the dog.

Not with guys like him.