Page 43 of The Lost Ones

Why does the feeling of being loved make me panic?That’s notnormal.

What if they realise, I'm not worth it? Now that I know what it feels like to be loved, I don't want to lose that feeling, I don't want to lose them.I realise it’s not the thought of being loved that is making me panic but the thought of losing them and that feeling. I'm nearing a full-blown panic attack when suddenly there are two large hands cradling my face.I look up and lock eyes with Hunters gorgeous green and gold orbs.

My breathing is still ragged, my pulse too fast and I'm starting to feel lightheaded.

Not good, so not good.

Hunter’s eyes are lit with understanding and concern.I can see his lips moving as he talks to me, but I can't hear a single word of what he is saying over the rushing sound in my ears.I watch him as he takes deep breaths, his eyes pleading with me.I start to follow along.

Deep breathe in.

Deep breathe out.

After what must have only been a few minutes, but to me felt like an eternity, my breathing finally returns to normal and sound rushes back in.Hunter still has his large, calloused hands cradling my face and is ever so gently running his thumbs across my cheek bones.The kind gesture causes me to melt. Without really making a conscious decision to do so, I suddenly have my arms wrapped tightly around his waist and my face buried in his wide chest.

With absolutely no hesitation at all he wraps his large, strong arms around me and just holds me.

That's when the flood gates open.

It seems that everything that has happened in the last few days, actually fuck that everything that has happened in the last few hours, has finally caught up to me and is overwhelming me completely.I grip Hunter’s shirt in my fists and just sob.

"Oh, Sage Sweetheart, come on.” He says gently, picking me up bridal style and walking out of the bathroom with me in his arms.

I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and bury my face back into his chest. Trusting him completely to take care of me in my vulnerable state.I feel several different sets of hands on me all offering gentle touches and I know that my guys are surrounding me.Someone's missing though.Just as I have that thought there's a grunt and Hunter shifts slightly so someone can kiss my cheek. That's better, they're all here now.

"Is she okay?" Levi asks worriedly.

I want to tell him I'm fine, but I just can't stop crying.

"She will be, I think she is just overwhelmed.” Hunter explains, spot on in his guess even though I never voiced the reason. "I'm going to take her to lie down.” He adds.

"Good idea,” Levi praises “Kai why don't you go and rest with them, you need to get as much rest as possible to help you heal."

"Yes boss." Kai replies, a smile in voice.

I can hear Kai's footsteps following us as Hunter carries me into what I'm assuming is the bedroom.My sobs have thankfully subsided and now I'm only hiccupping every now and then.

I am suddenly, absolutely bone tired. I usually get ridiculously tired after a good cry; it completely drains me.Hunter gently places me in the middle of a large bed, and not completely in control of my actions, I whimper as he moves away still feeling too raw and vulnerable to be left alone.In an instant he’s back his hands on my cheeks.

"Shh Sweetheart. I'm not leaving you and neither is Kai we are just getting more comfortable. Okay?" He reassures me.

I sleepily nod that I understand and I'm nearly asleep before I decide that I'm too uncomfortable in my clothes and that their idea of getting more comfortable sounds like something I want to be doing too.With my eyes still closed because I’m too lazy to open them and even if I wasn’t, I’m not sure I could open them anyway and feeling too sleepy to get up, I decide to stay lying down as I start to wriggle my way out of my uncomfortable jeans.

"What is she doing?" I hear Kai ask sounding slightly strangled, I'd have to ask him why later. I am too sleepy now to A, bother asking and B, try to figure it out for myself.

"Wha . . .” Hunter stops mid-sentence. "Sage, Sweetheart, what are you doing?" His voice sounds funny just like Kai's.

I have finally gotten my jeans off and I'm already feeling so much more comfortable. No thanks to those two, they could've helped! I'm so going to yell at them tomorrow for not helping me take my jeans off.

Bad boys.

"Is she singing the bad boys theme tune?" Kai asks incredulously before chuckling. "So, fucking adorable."

Hunter makes an affirmative noise and I frown. I’m pretty sure he asked me a question but what was it?I take my jumper off while I think and chuck it in a random direction, hearing an ompff sound from whoever it landed on and work to remove my bra from underneath my baggy t-shirt.I normally wouldn't bother and would sleep topless, but I have a feeling that awake me would not be too pleased if I did that right now.

Oh, I remember the question now.

"Uncomfortable, off." I mumble, finally having managed to free my boobs from boobie jail. I fling the offending bra off somewhere in the room.