Page 48 of Bluebird

Adrien

I come harder than I've ever come before. The way Philipp took control was mind blowing. He was so gentle, yet so sure and so determined. It was incredibly hot. Everything he did was for me and it was perfect.

It's still perfect. My body is still pressed against his. He's on the verge, I can feel it, his thrusts are getting faster, his body tension is rising. "Shit, oh God, I'm coming, I'm coming! I'm..." His body stiffens and I can feel his cock pulsating inside me.

As his thrusts weaken, I gently let myself fall forward and pull Philipp with me. I don't care that I'm lying in my own cum. Philipp is still inside me, but I can feel his cock softening. He pulls out and removes the condom but stays on top of me. His head between my shoulder blades, his right hand still wrapped around me on my chest.

First, I feel him trembling, then I feel his tears on my skin. Philipp is crying. I can't turn around without moving him, but I need to see him. Carefully, I try to lift my back, but he just holds me even tighter. "Let me see you. Please." Philipp's grip loosens and he straightens up.

When I turn around, he is kneeling in front of me, his head hanging between his shoulders. He is sobbing and his body is shaking with tears. I have no idea what’s going on. Why is he so upset? "Hey, can I touch you?"

"Yes, please!" Philipp nods vigorously and when I open my arms to close them around him, he falls in my embrace and presses himself against me. That's good. He's with me, he's not pulling away. I am relieved.

"Are you okay?"

He nods again. "Yeah, I... I don't know... I'm just so... it feels all like so much right now..." Philipp's words could scare me, but there's a smile in his tone. "I always imagined sex like this until I had it for the first time... I never thought I could have it like this. Thank you."

Philipp lifts his head and his wonderful green eyes find mine. He is so beautiful, I could look at him all day, run my fingers over his countless freckles or through his curls. "How did you know I needed that? The change of roles, the control?"

Phew, that's a good question. "I didn't know." I shrug my shoulders. "But I was hoping you'd have less negative associations with being the one calling the shots, if you didn't feel so… powerless."

"How was it for you? Did I hurt you?" He can't look me in the eye when he asks me that, but he doesn't have to be afraid of the answer. "It was absolutely amazing, Philipp. You made it perfect for me. And no, it didn't hurt. It's never felt better and do you want to know why?" Philipp looks at me expectantly. "Because you love me."

He flinches at my words, his eyes go wide and he swallows hard. We've never said these words to each other before, but I know it anyway. I can feel it in everything he does for me and in the way he does it. "And because I love you."

His eyes fill with tears again. "You love me?"

I have to smile, he sounds so incredulous asking this question, as if loving him is so completely out of the question. "Yeah, but I thought it was obvious by now that you mean so much more to me.”

Philipp lowers his head to his chest, but smiles sheepishly. "I hoped so, but I didn't really dare to believe it. I do love you too, you know?"

"What a convenient coincidence." I take his head in my hands and kiss him, lovingly and gently, passionately and insistently. Philipp slides between my legs into my lap. We kiss and lose ourselves in this moment together. He’s slowly stroking me with his fingers from my collarbone over my chest to my belly button.

"We should take a shower. You're sticky." He grins against my lips as he speaks and I know he's right. But I don't want to let go of this moment yet.

"Later."

"Later the cum has dried in your hair. You have to decide whether you want that. I don’t need to move." You can't miss the mischievous smile in his voice.

"I love you, Philipp."

"I love you too, Adrien."

We take that shower. Dried cum in stomach and chest hair is the worst, nobody wants that. Besides, the shower is also a very nice place – you're naked, wet and close together, skin to skin. My head has lots of ideas about how to make it even nicer in there.

Since Philipp took off his t-shirt for the first time, I'm allowed to look at him, but it's still difficult for him to allow me to touch his upper arms. He still finds them disgusting. If he doesn't wear a shirt, he usually crosses his arms in front of his chest and covers his scars with his hands. Of course, this doesn't really work as his hands are simply too small and his skin is damaged over too large an area. But it gives him security and I don't want to take that away from him, which is why I don't say anything.

In the shower, I have a reason to touch him, to touch his arms. I take some shower gel and spread it on both hands. Then I start on the right and left of his neck and let my hands wander over his shoulders to his arms in small circles.

Philipp flinches the moment my fingertips touch his upper arms. His ex has told him for so long how disgusting and hideous his arms look and that nobody wants to touch him that he still believes it. It's so ingrained in him. I can only keep showing him that it's different with me. That's why I don't shy away when he flinches, but reach around his arms, not to hold him in place, but to give him support. He can feel the difference by now.

When Philipp relaxes, he drops his head onto my shoulders. "I still can't believe you're doing this willingly... touching me like this." His hand grips my cock, which is hard between us, and he shakes his head. "And that you're getting it up like that..."

Leaning forward I whisper in his ear. "My boyfriend is hot, what should I do?"

Philipp shakes his head again, but this time he smiles.