Page 13 of Bluebird

Adrien

"When are you going home?" Ahh... valid question. To be honest, I was wondering when élias was going to ask it. Tomorrow is the last day of lectures before the holidays, the day after tomorrow he's leaving to visit his family near Rennes and he's really looking forward to it.

I'd like to go home too, but that's a bit difficult after everything that's happened in the last year. "I'm staying here."

"Excuse me?" élias looks at me in such horror that I have to laugh. "No, seriously now! What do you mean? You're staying here?"

"Just as I said. I'm not going home. It's no good. My parents don't accept me for who I am and I don't want to listen to all the nice girls I could bring home -bullshit. I'm staying here."

"But... will you be here all alone over the holidays?"

I nod my head in confirmation and wait for my best friend's reaction. Five, four, three... "Oh no! Definitely not!" That was faster than I thought.

"And how exactly are you going to stop me? I'm not going home. Period."

"Then come with me, but I'm definitely not leaving you here alone!"

"You can't just invite me to your parents' house. That's really nice of you, but it's not that easy." I shake my head with a smile.

"Give me five minutes!" Determined, élias pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and holds it to his ear after a quick tap. "Hey Maman! It's me! Look, here's the thing..."

élias briefly explains my situation to his mother. I try to read her answer from his face, but he doesn't bat an eyelid. "See you the day after tomorrow! I'm looking forward to it too! Love you!"

I thought the conversation was over, but he doesn't hang up. Instead, he grins all over his face. "We'll take care of us. See you then!" Us?... Us !?! I look at élias questioningly.

"Yes, you heard right, you're coming with me. My parents are looking forward to it."

"Do your parents even have that much space?"

élias shakes his head in disbelief. "Do you think I would have asked if my parents lived in a two-bedroom apartment? Space isn't the problem. But if my brother is late, we'll have to decorate the Christmas tree."

Okay, I can manage that. But the well-behaved boy in me still wants to thankfully decline. After all, Christmas is a family holiday. You don't necessarily want one of your son's buddies there, do you? That would have been absolutely unthinkable at my home. But the lonely little kid in me is super relieved that I don't have to spend Christmas alone after all and is keen to accept the invitation.

While the two of them are still discussing, my adult self sees élias's demanding look and understands that a discussion on this topic is absolute garbage because he'll give me hell if I don't go along. "Thank you... I... I don't even know what to say. I'm happy, honestly."

***

Two days later, we're on the TGV to Rennes. We take the train because Nika is coming by car in five days' time to take us back to Strasbourg at the end of our stay. After changing trains once in Paris, we finally arrive at élias's parents' house in the late afternoon.

The house is huge with a large garden. However, they also live in a fairly rural area, so it probably wasn't that expensive.

élias's father picked us up from the station and grinned. "So, if you always bring us surprise guests when you visit now, I'll have to start keeping a record. Otherwise, I won't be able to keep track of all the names anymore. For nineteen years you haven't brought anyone home except Rapha?l and now two new people in less than six months."

His voice is warm and gentle, heartfelt and even if he is teasing his son a little, you can feel the love between the two of them. élias laughs. "Thank goodness you're so spontaneous! Thank you for letting Adrien stay with us, Dad."

"Oh, I had nothing at all to do with this decision, that was your mother's alone. If she’d asked me..."

If I got the same stern look from my father that élias just got from his, I wouldn't be grinning all over my face. But élias doesn't look the least bit insecure. He playfully bumps his father with his shoulder.

"Ah, here you are! Finally!" A tall, thin woman falls around élias's neck. "I've missed you so much, my big boy! I'm so glad you're here! And you too, of course!"

"Thank you for having me, Madame Lejeune." élias's mother looks at me in horror. The two of them look incredibly alike. The long, slender stature, the dark hair and the dark eyes.

"No, no, no. We're celebrating Christmas together, there's no room for pleasantries. I'm Camille and you've already met Antoine."

"This is Adrien, Maman. I've already told you a lot about him on the phone."

"Adrien Delfosse." I politely hold out my hand and Camille grasps it with a firm handshake.

"Welcome! And now inside, boys. We're about to have dinner."

***

"Your family is awesome!" élias and I sit on his bed and play PlayStation to pass the time.

"Yes, I think I’m pretty lucky. They reacted really well too when I brought Nika home out of nowhere over the summer and introduced her as my girlfriend." Whenever he talks about Nika, élias's voice changes. It becomes soft and loving, tender. I wonder if I sound like that when I talk about Philipp. If you can hear that I have feelings for him. If I also get that slight smile around the corners of my mouth.

"Does Nika celebrate Christmas with her parents?"

élias nods slowly. "We haven't slept a night apart since we got together. I hope she's doing well."

"How about I just go over to the guest room so you can call her and talk on the phone in peace?" The answer is a long time coming, but I understand anyway and get up.

Back in the guest room, my thoughts go round in circles. Philipp. I wonder how he celebrates Christmas. Probably with his family too, as he lives at home. If we were together, could he bring me home with him? Just like that? Like élias brought Nika home?

I could never take Philipp home with me, my parents would never accept him and I could never do that to him. The thought hurts more than I'd like.