Page 83 of Oleander

“Whatever I want...” he dragged it out.

I breathed out.

“What if,” he said, “I want younotto come until I get home? Do you think you could do it?”

A thousand-volt electric shock would not have had a more violent effect on my body.

“Why...would you want that?” I managed.

“Do I need a reason?”

“If you want me to do it, then I wouldn’t mind knowing why, that’s all.” It sounded terrible. Painful even. But I knew if he asked me to, I would do it. He didn’t need to give me a reason. I wasn’t even sure why I’d asked for one.

“Forget it,” he said, sighing.

“I don’t...want to.”

I could practically hear him smirking. “Very well. Then do it because I want you to. No other reason.”

I licked my tongue over my teeth. My cock was already hard and a little painful. The thought of four more days without easing that, even a little? Well, I wanted to throw up.

But there was something in his voice, something very similar to how he’d spoken to Xavier Blackwell on the phone that day, and that alone drowned out everything else.

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

“I’m willing to bet thatthinkingis going to become quite the challenge by, let’s say, Wednesday evening.”

I snorted. He laughed softly.

Saturday arrived with the most excruciating need I’d ever felt. My entire body trembled with it. Tight skin over jittering bones. A pulsing in my legs and hands and balls. But I’d done it. I’ddone what he’d asked for no reason other than he’d asked. I was sure the moment I set eyes on him, I was going to hurt him.

I smashed a cup in the kitchen, burnt my toast, and left the pot with the eggs boiling so long the shells had turned black and the pan smelled like the metalwork department. I was pretty sure, at my age, there was a health risk in going this long without masturbating. I’d Googled it but hadn’t found anything conclusive.

His journey was Zurich to Heathrow and then Heathrow to Jersey. As far as I could tell, it was about five hours in total, so I was expecting him to be at Deveraux by dinnertime. He hadn’t said a thing about seeing me, but I’d already decided I didn’t care. I’d go over to see him regardless. In fact, I distinctly hadn’t mentioned anything about going over because I didn’t want him to say no.

I needed to see him as much as I needed to come. Perhaps even more. So if he hadn’t called me by 6:30 p.m., then I was going to cycle up to the house.

“Gideon said Cas is due home today,” Luke said after dinner.

I was lying on the couch trying to force myself through the chapter I was reading. He said it as though he might be imparting some vaguely interesting piece of information to me that I may or may not have cared about.

Luke didn’t know we spoke on the phone.

“Yeah, Gideon mentioned it to me too,” I replied.

He was flicking through his phone on the other sofa. Beth had gone into town to meet her friend for a bottomless brunch.

“Was gonna head up and see him later.”

“Cool,” he said without looking up. “I’m heading out to meet the boys for a couple around six. I’ll meet Beth out, and we’ll come back together later. Not too late, though.”

“No worries.”

My phone buzzed with an Instagram notification. Ellie had posted a picture of her and her grandfather. He was wearing a bright green Christmas jumper and one of those paper crowns you get inside crackers. She was in a headband shaped like reindeer antlers. It read:Miss you, Gramps x

I sent a heart and locked my phone again.

By 6 p.m., Caspien hadn’t gotten in touch. Luke had left in a taxi to meet his friends about twenty minutes before, and so I’d finally been able to stand and go to the kitchen to watch the road. He was sure to be home by now. Unless there’d been a delay. Unless he’d missed the connection.