Page 43 of Oleander

Okay, I wasn’t. That was a plan. I could stay away from him, and then there’d be absolutely no danger of it ever happening again. None. I couldn’t do anything like that again if I didn’t see him. So I just wouldn’t.

Except...it felt like I’d woken something up that had been asleep inside me, and now it was awake and hungry and alive.

I didn’t think you had it in you.

God, my head hurt.

I didn’t have to wait long. Luke and Beth returned about a half hour later, worried looks on their faces because Caspien said I’d looked sick as a dog when I came out of the bathroom. He’d said it was probably the champagne. That I’d asked him to let them know I’d walked home to get some air.

I agreed with every lie he’d told them and let Beth put me to bed with a headache pill and a glass of water, swearing not to let me touch alcohol again.

Alcohol. That was the reason it had happened. It had to be. It was the champagne. That made sense.

I tossed and turned for an hour or so before the pill took effect, and the adrenaline seeped from my body.

I woke up the following morning to three texts and a missed call from Ellie. There was no point in putting it off, so I called her. She answered on the fourth ring.

“Hello,” she said, a little sharply.

“Hey. Look, I’m sorry. I should have called, but it was one of those formal things where I felt like I’d get daggers for going on my phone or something.”

“Caspien was on his phone.”

“What?”

“I saw his insta. He posted a pic.”

Right. The inciting incident.

“Yeah, well, he went to put his gifts in his room, and so he took it then, I guess.”

“I’m sure you could have found a way to text me, Jude,” she’d pointed out huffily. She was right; I could have.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Did you just not want me to come over?”

“No, it wasn’t that. I just didn’t know how long we’d be there. Luke and Gideon talk for hours, and I hadn’t asked Beth if it was cool.”

“Hmm, right.”

“I am sorry, Ellie,” I said again. When she didn’t say anything, I added. “See you at school?”

“Yeah.”

She hung up without saying anything else, and I felt like shit. I wondered what the chances were of Beth letting me stay home today if I said I still felt like crap from the alcohol.

I lay there feeling sorry for myself for a bit, trying not to think about kissing Caspien until I heard Luke’s voice calling up the stairs.

A bowl of Cheerios was on the kitchen table and a large glass of orange juice.

“How’s the head?” Beth asked as she poured her tea into her travel mug.

“Is this what a hangover feels like?” I rubbed at my head for effect.

Luke laughed and bit into his toast, speaking around it. “You’ll live. I’ll buy you a bacon buttie on the way to school.”

I groaned, miserable. It would take a lot more than a bacon buttie to sort my head out; I knew that much.