Page 47 of Oleander

“Okay, so then why aren’t we studying in the library?”

I blinked. I really couldn’t decipher the look in his eye.

“Because...”I kissed you, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it, and I was scared I might do it again.“I was busy,” I muttered, which seemed to incense him further.

“With your girlfriend?” he sniffed.

“Yes, actually.”

He stared at me for a long time. Then he stood.

“Is this about the kiss?” he asked.

My cheeks burned so hot I was sure my head was about to burst into flame.

“Do you seriously think you’re the first purportedly ‘straight’ boy to kiss me?” He let out a small laugh and then tilted his head to study me. “Oh no, wait, that’s not it. It’s because you liked it, isn’t it? That’s why you’re being weird.”

“Can you shut up,” I warned.

A low thrum had begun to rattle in the pit of me. I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted to hit him or kiss him.

He took a step closer, and the low thrum turned to a loud thump.

“We can do it again if you like,” he said with a sly smile. When he reached for me, I caught his wrist, holding it out from my body like it was a poisonous thing. “It would be far more interesting than watching you sigh your way through your biology homework.”

I trembled at how close his mouth was. It would be nothing to just move my head, lower my mouth toward his, even if just to shut him up…

“Jude?” Ellie’s voice came from the hallway outside.

I practically threw him away from me and watched as a look of pure delight swept over his features. Stepping away from the door just as she pushed it open, I turned to face Ellie, who looked surprised at the sight of Caspien.

“Oh, hey, Caspien.” She glanced at me before giving him a small wave. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hello, Jude’s girlfriend.” He gave her a smile that sent a chill down my spine.

Ellie smiled back at him, a little confused. “Happy Birthday, by the way,” she said to him.

He gave her a close-lipped smile.

She sidled closer to me and asked him: “Are you...staying, or?”

Caspien and I spoke at the same time.

“No.”

“No.”

I wanted him to disappear immediately.

I was certain then that she knew. And if she didn’t, then she would soon, she would be able to guess the longer we were in the same room together.

“I suppose I’ll get going,” Caspien said. “Let you two do...whatever it was you were doing before I came along.” He gave me a grin that I could only describe as unhinged.

When he was a few steps out into the hallway, Ellie called out, “You should hang out with us again soon.”

“Sure, why not? Jude has my number.” He gave me a pointed look.

Then he was gone. And I could breathe.