Page 17 of Oleander

My head snapped around to find Gideon sitting by another open door a little further down. His legs were crossed at the knee and he had a newspaper on it. He was watching me very closely. I stopped breathing.

“Then perhaps you should try playing it instead?” Caspien said, standing. He didn’t sound insulted, just mildly bored. “Am I dismissed now?”

“Of course, make sure you take Falstaff for his ride before it gets too dark.”

Caspien nodded and slid out from behind the piano, and strode from the room.

Then I was alone with Gideon Deveraux and his calculating stare.

“I’m sorry,” I offered when I was certain Caspien was out of earshot.

“Oh, you’ve nothing to apologise for, Jude.” He waved a hand before glancing in the direction Caspien had gone. “He’s rather remarkable, isn’t he?”

It wasn’t the first word that came to mind when I thought about Caspien.

“He’s talented.”

“Yes. He’s exceptional at most things he does. La Troyeux say he could be an equestrian, a professional tennis player, an artist, or a pianist. Achingly beautiful too, which seems extremely unfair. He’ll break a thousand hearts, I’m sure of it.”

He looked me dead in the eye as he said this. I didn’t know what to say. It felt strange to hear his uncle call him beautiful.

I didn’t think it was something Luke would ever say about me, though maybe that was because I wasn’t beautiful. I wasn’t ugly; I knew that. I knew girls liked what they saw when they looked at me. But I also knew I wasn’t what anyone would call beautiful.

Caspien was, I supposed, beautiful. If a boy could be beautiful, then yes, he was. Objectively. He had slightly girlish features and soft skin. He smelled sweet and clean. His hands wereshapely and pretty with long, elegant fingers. Fingers that could command horses, play piano, and wash poison from my skin.

Gideon was waiting for me to say something. I hoped it wasn’t that Caspien was beautiful because that wasn’t something I’d ever say out loud.

“I am so happy you’re going to be living here, truly, Jude.”

“We are, too.” It was half a lie.Lukewas happy. Beth, too. I was mainly concerned about my soon-to-be-normal proximity to his beautiful, talented, exceptional nephew.

“I think you could be very good for him, you know,” Gideon said.

My stomach quivered with dread as I glanced in the direction he’d gone. “Um, I don’t know if we really...”

“I told you, he’s prickly but soft underneath.” Gideon cut me off gently, closing his newspaper and setting it on the table by the chair.

“Like a hedgehog then?” I said.

Gideon laughed. “Yes, exactly. And he doesn’t have many friends, you see.”

I wanted to say: Yeah, and I know why.

“And I think a good, dependable boy like you is just what he needs.” Gideon came towards me, a look on his face like he was sizing me up for a task he had complete confidence in me for. I stood taller. “Your uncle says you like to read.” He glanced at the book in my hand.

“Yes, sir.”

“That you want to write books one day?”

My cheeks warmed. Luke had told him that. Christ, did Caspien know? I felt sick. I wasn’t embarrassed about it, but I knew that it sounded frivolous and childlike. Not like wanting tobe a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer. I was sure wanting to be a writer was something Caspien would make fun of.

“I’d like to try, yes.” I smiled.

Gideon nodded. “Well, trying is the first part of doing. He gave me an encouraging smile. “Look, we have rather an impressive library here, the biggest on the island the last time I checked.” He crossed the room in a different direction from the one Caspien had gone and pushed open a door that was built almost into the wall.

I followed, confused but excited. I loved libraries. There was a small one in town and an even smaller one in school. Stacks of books comforted me – their smell, their weight, their possibility. On a Saturday afternoon, I’d hide in the aisles of Brown’s in town and lose myself for hours while Luke and Beth did the grocery shop.

Gideon led the way down a dank-smelling corridor with no natural light before shoving open another door. He pushed it wide and stepped aside to let me in behind him.