Page 31 of Oleander

“I can’t stay away from you, you know that.” The man explained, miserably. “I miss you all the time.” He lifted his head then, and I caught a glimpse of his profile. A dusting of dark hair brushed a strong jaw and a small, neat nose. Had I seen him before? I wasn’t sure. He wore a short sleeved T-shirt which revealed muscled arms with a smattering of dark hair. “Don’t you miss me? This is driving me fucking crazy, Cas.”

“I told you not to come,” said Caspien.

“Cas, he’s gone for the whole weekend. A whole weekend alone. How could I resist?”

“I’m not alone,” Caspien huffed. “If anyone sees you here, and they tell him, how will you explain it?”

The man laughed. “I’ll tell him you seduced me. That I had not a hope in hell of resisting you.” He reached up and kissed him then, and Caspien visibly softened in his arms.

I felt as though I had been slapped, hard. My face stung, and I backed out of the room. As I turned, my elbow banged against the sideboard and rattled the antique birdcage on top. I bit back the yelp of pain, scurried across to the music room and hid myself up behind a large sideboard near the door. Here, I crouched, pulling my knees up to my chin and making myself as small as I could.

Outside the room, footsteps grew closer, and then the sound of the door opening, lights flicking on.

For some idiotic reason, I squeezed my eyes closed. This was stupid. Why didn’t I hide somewhere else? Why didn’t I run back to the car? Then I could have told Luke that some grown man was kissing and touching Caspien.

I knew it wasn’t right. I knew it then, and I know it now.

I opened my eyes to find Caspien in front of me, staring at me. He looked furious. But more than that, he looked...frightened.

Before I could say anything, he turned on his heel, walked back out of the door, and flicked the light out as he went.

Eight

Igot back to the car a couple of minutes before Caspien did, sneaking back out the way I came and sliding into the back seat. If Luke noticed anything was wrong, he said nothing.

When Caspien got into the car, redressed in a clean T-shirt and shorts, he pulled his seatbelt on and apologised for taking so long. He didn’t look at me in the rearview the entire journey to the cottage, which I noticed because I could barely keep my eyes off him. I needed to get him alone and ask him about the man in Gideon’s house. Was he still there? Waiting?

Throughout the barbecue, my skin itched from the questions bubbling under it. Caspien was cool and calm and entirely placid in the face of my questioning stares and heavy looks. He ate two burgers and a hot dog and picked at his bowl of salad while answering Luke’s questions about the beach, Gideon’s trip to London, how his studies were with his tutor, and if he missed boarding school.

I watched in awe as he answered them all politely and without any hint that he’d just kissed a grown man in his uncle’s reception room as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

“You should stay the night,” Luke suggested as we helped clear away the plates. “We have a blow-up mattress. You can sleep in Jude’s room. I’m sure Gideon won’t mind.”

My legs faltered so that the plates I was carrying almost toppled to the floor.

What would he say?Actually, my older boyfriend is waiting for me at home. I have to get back.

Instead, in true Caspien style, he shocked me by saying, “That would be nice.” He looked at me. “Just as long as Jude doesn’t mind.”

My face must have done something strange because Luke said, “He doesn’t have friends stay over much; that’s why he looks like you’ve just suggested he swim once around the island.”

“Why not?” Caspien asked me.

I still couldn’t think properly, so my mouth opened and closed like a dying fish for a moment before Beth said, “He doesn’t like people in his space.” She used her fingers to motion quotation marks around the word ‘space’. “Goodness knows what he’s gonna do when the baby gets here.”

It was true. I didn’t like people in my space – I was only just about getting used to Ellie coming over and touching things and leaving her flowery, sweet scent around my room. But having Caspien alone in my room, that was to say, to have him alone where I could ask him about exactly what I saw back at the mansion, was too good an opportunity to miss. And the fact that he’d agreed to stay meant that he must be at least willing to talk to me about it. Because he surely knew he wasn’t going to get away with not.

I looked at Caspien with intent. “I don’t mind.”

His eyes took on a sharp, knowing look as he nodded. “Then I would love to stay over. Thanks.”

I helped Luke blow up the airbed while Caspien helped Beth with the dishes. I couldn’t imagine what they’d be talking aboutdown there, but their voices were a steady drone coming up through the fireplace.

“I think he’s lonely, you know,” Luke said in a half-whisper. “Living up there in that big house with just Gideon for company. Needs some friends his own age if you ask me.”

“Did Gideon tell you that?” I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly responsible for Caspien’s social inclusion – but it seemed I was.

I wondered what Luke would think about what I’d seen earlier. I’d not stopped thinking about it, and yet, as the night had gone on, what I’d seen had become far more incredible and unlikely. Had they actually kissed, or had I just imagined it? Had I imagined the noises the man holding him had made? Caspien was my age, fifteen. And that guy had been Luke’s age. An adult. It made no sense that they’d have been kissing. But then I thought about what he’d said, about how he’d tell Gideon that Caspien had seduced him...about how he couldn’t stay away...about how he missed him all the time.