Page 33 of Oleander

He smiled, slow and amused. “You think I have a whole squad of them?”

I raised an eyebrow. If anyone did, it was him.

He rolled his eyes, but he answered. “Yes. He was.”

“And do you...like...you know. With him...”

Caspien’s eyes narrowed devilishly, lips parting. “Do I what?”

I looked at the floor. “You know...”

“If you want me to answer it, then you’re going to have to say it.”

I kept my eyes lowered. “Do you have sex with him?”

“I’m fifteen years old. Of course I don’t.”

When I lifted my eyes, he held my gaze a long time without speaking. I sensed the lie in it, or I thought I did, perhaps because everything Caspien saidfeltcrafted and careful, intricate in a way that hurt my brain trying to decipher.

He glanced away, sighing as he added, “He’s not a complete idiot.”

Did that mean he wanted to?

“He says he’s happy to wait.” Caspien was staring at my bookshelf.

At first, I thought he meantwait at the houseuntil I realised that wasn’t what he meant at all. My head filled with noise, and my breathing turned hot and quick again. I felt angry and helpless all at once.

“And you’re going to? With him? Some old guy you don’t even love?” It was out before I could think about how it sounded like I cared.

His eyes found mine, a mocking look on his face.

“Oh, so you only have sex with people you love?” He said it like it was ridiculous. “Do youloveher then? Your stupid girlfriend?”

“Stop saying that,” I snapped. “She’s not stupid.”

“She’s not very smart either.”

“How would you know? You barely spoke to her.”

“I didn’t have to; it’s painfully obvious.”

“Well, I suppose if forty-year-old men are your type then you would think that.”

“He’s thirty-two.”

I shrugged. “Same difference. He should be in prison.”

Caspien gave me a very serious look. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.” If it meant he’d be away from Caspien maybe that’s exactly where he should be. Behind thick bars and high walls.

He stuck his chin out. “I’ll be sixteen in three months.”

“And he’ll still be a man twice your age. It’s disgusting.”

He studied me closely, eyes turning mean. “Are you sure it’s not the fact he’s a man, Jude? Is that really what disgusts you?”

I felt my face screw up. “Eh, no. I don’t care if you’re gay, Caspien.” That he thought I did pissed me off.