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He placed both his hands on his head and after a while, he started breathing really fast and I knew he was about to cry. I frowned and rolled my eyes.
Later he would get a panic attack if I called him a pussy.
He kneeled down in front of me and held my hands, I groaned. “Let’s not do this.” I tried to remove my hands, but he held them tighter.
Tears fell from his eyes and I looked away. I hated that I didn’t want to see him cry. “Jordan, I’m… I’m sorry.” He placed his lips on my hands as his tears wet my hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
I tried to free my hands again, but he wasn’t having it. I sighed, giving up. “Stop crying. You’re a boy, boys shouldn’t cry.”
“ ‘Just because you’re a boy doesn’t mean you have to be strong all the time. Men should be allowed to be weak.’ You told me that, what happened?” He shut his eyes as tears ran down his face.
“Do you remember when Daniel and I fought? He hit me and I cried, but… but then I saw you coming and cleaned my tears. That was when you told me never to hide my emotions from you. That was when you said boys should be allowed to cry, so why are you stopping my tears now?”
“People change, Jayden. Get over it and stop being a baby.” I removed my hands from his and stood up, turning my back to him.
I was hurting. Not only was my arm hurting, my heart was hurting too and it was safe to say that my heart was hurting more than my arm.
He wrapped his hands around my waist and placed his jaw on my head. “My family broke you, didn’t we?” I didn’t give him a reply. “Should we kill them together?” I turned to him with raised eyebrows. What was he saying?
He smiled, but his face showed how serious he was. “Hm?”
I chuckled dryly. “What do you know about killing? It’s not like shaving your beards or playing video games, baby Jayden. You’re going to have to pull an actual trigger at an actual person and this person happens to be your actual brother who is going to die an actual death.”
He glared at me and I shook my head, a small smile on my face. I couldn’t let him do that. He was too clean and I didn’t want to stain him.
Knowing Jayden, he would never be able to live with himself if he killed his brother,or anyone at all, and I didn’t want to scar him for life.
I would never forgive myself if I did that to him, just the way I knew he could never forgive himself for what he and his family did to me. He was hurting and punishing himself, but I had every right to be mad, I had every right to not forgive him.
He walked to my first aid box and brought out a bandage. He sat me down, carefully wrapped it around my arm after disinfecting the wound, and placed a gentle kiss on it.
“So this is why your wound didn’t heal,” he said, more to himself. “Why?” He asked me.
“It reminds me of who I am, reminds me of whoyouare.” He sighed, not bothering to ask me who I thought he was. Apparently he remembered my answer.
“Flower…”
“Stop calling me Flower,” I snapped at him, pulling my hand from his hold. “I swear if you call me Flower one more time, I’ll kill you. It’s Alexis.” I finished slowly.
“Flower, Flower, Flower, Flower,” he repeated adamantly, turning his head with each word and I snorted, shaking my head at him.
“You want me to stab you, don’t you?”
“I don’t. But you eventually will, won’t you?”
“When are you leaving? I have to go somewhere, I told you.”
“I have to go somewhere too, dad called.”
Uncle Cedric called Jayden? What did he want to talk about with him, Rick’s death? Or did Dana snitch on me?
Could she really do that? I remembered threatening her that I could kill her from jail. She didn’t underestimate me, did she?
Jayden moved closer to me and put my hair behind my ear, I rolled my eyes. “What now?” He put an interlink in my ear and I glanced up at him. “Jayden?” It couldn’t be what I was thinking, could it?
“Sorry for touching your things, but I saw these interlinks beside your laptop and I connected them together. That way, you can hear whatever we say at my dad’s place.”
Why would he do that? Was he really choosing me over his family? “Why?” It came out quiet and sentimental, and I groaned inwardly. What was Jayden doing to me, I hated sentimental things.