Page 21

In another picture, they were at the beach and he was captured rubbing sunscreen on her back. In another picture, he was seen with her at a baby shop, grinning sweetly at her as he opened the door for her.
Guess who was living happily after ruining my life, oh it’s just Rick Antonio.
Daniel was captured with Cedric in the car as they talked. And Cedric was captured with Raphael bowing to him. Another picture was taken at a family photo shoot, all the Antonios were present except Jayden.
There were about four family pictures on the bed with no Jayden. Why wasn’t Jayden with them?
I looked across the bed to see the envelope with ‘JAYDEN ANTONIO’ written on it. I still hadn’t opened it, and I hated that I was so nervous to see what he looked like now.
Were his brown eyes still bright? Did he still smile with his whole face? How long was his hair now? He did mention one time that he wanted to grow his hair when we grew up.
I hated that I remembered this and I hated that I wanted to know all these. I hated that my heart was beating fast and I hated that my palms were starting to get sweaty.
He was gonna die anyway.
I flipped the contents on the bed and gasped loudly.
Eyes widened, lips parted, fingers clenched, cheeks and nose red, I looked at the pictures on the bed in awe, hyperventilating and questioning all my life choices.
This couldn’t be happening, right? It couldn’t be happening. How did I get into this mess? What did the universe want from me at this point? I couldn’t believe I betrayed myself.
Of course the one time I decided to fuck a man after a long while, it turned out to be the last fucker on my list.
Dee. How did I miss everything? How did I miss the hints? How did I miss the clear clues staring at me right there in my goddamn face?
‘Like something I’ve seen before, like something I’ve loved before.’
‘His bright brown eyes.’
‘The man smiled with his whole eyes.’
I was careless, so careless. I shouldn’t have done it, I shouldn’t have slept with him last night. I should have known the moment he said his name was Dee. I should have known that his eyes were something I used to know, something I used to stare into all the time.
I should have known that Dee was an Antonio. I should have known that he was last on my list, I should have smelled the perverted blood inside his body. I should have known.
It was all my fault. It was all my fault.
I scratched my skin as I screamed out in horror, in realization and in anger.
I let it happen again; I let an Antonio touch me, I let an Antonio kiss me, I let an Antonio fuck me. I betrayed myself and mocked myself in the face.
I continued to scratch my skin, ignoring the blood that was now coming from my bandaged left arm. I grimaced as I glanced at the scar, the scar that should have reminded me of what I had planned all my life.
‘Ignore it, just continue.’
I actually told him to ignore it. I told him to ignore a scar caused by him, told him to ignore the scar that changed my life. The scar he drew, the scar he created, I told him to ignore it. I spat on my past, spat on my principles and spat on my mission just for some minutes of pleasure.
PRESENT
The door to my bathroom opened as I continued to hit the wall with blood smeared all over it. Ariana came in, screaming at the sight while Kendal followed behind her. He pushed himself in front of Ariana and tried to stop me.
“Get out,” I snapped at them, but they stood still, their eyes pleading for me to stop.
“Lexi stop,” she pleaded. I grabbed her arm and she gasped, her eyes widened in fear for the first time.
“What part of ‘get out’ don’t you understand?” I dropped her arm and continued my business with the wall. Releasing all my anger, pain and sorrow as blood dripped from my knuckles.
“Lexi, please…please stop this, you’re scaring me.” She whimpered out and I snorted.