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I had no understanding of that.
“What’s your middle name?” I asked him out of curiosity.
“I don’t have a middle name,” he shrugged and I pouted. I wished he had one. Suddenly I didn’t want to have a middle name either.
“What did you want to show me?” A grin returned to my face as I remembered I indeed wanted to show him something…
PRESENT
That once. Just that once and he didn’t forget it. He was doing the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted him to be bad, I wanted him to be so evil that I wouldn’t feel a single thing driving a knife into him.
Not now. Killing Jayden would be so difficult for me, killing him would be the hardest task to ever accomplish. Not only because he was my best friend or my first love, but because he didn’t do anything wrong to me.
No, of course he did something wrong to me. He —along with his stupid family— raped me. His father said ‘sleep with her,’ and he did. His father said ‘cut her,’ and he did. If his father had said ‘shoot her,’ he would have.
I covered my face with my hands and sighed into it. I was exhausted, God I was. I was tired of having to make hard decisions, I was totally done with life.
I looked around at my room, it was such a mess; the drawer Jayden emptied in anger and the vanity table I trashed. His letter that I tore was lying in pieces. I had about five to six more photocopies in my closet, but he wouldn’t know that. My favorite perfume was broken on the floor, it fell and broke when I pushed everything off the vanity table.
I stared at the knife on the floor and back at my wound. It was still bandaged and still slightly hurt, but it was healing fast these days, and even though I was almost done with my mission and wouldn’t need to cut it anymore, I still wanted to cut it once more; I was missing the pain.
I took the knife from the floor and opened my bandage, throwing it into the bin. I would need a new one when I cut myself. I winced at the small pain that hit me from freeing my arm from the bandage. I positioned the knife on the beginning of the injury and just as I was about to drag it, my phone rang.
I swore that if it was Jayden, I would lose it and hurt him so badly. I checked the caller and it was Chan. I sighed and dropped the knife beside me to pick up the call. I inhaled and exhaled after remembering he must be calling to tell me the results of the DNA test my dad did.
“Chan.”
“Jordy.” He cleared his throat and I sucked in a breath. He sounded serious. I was serious too, but I didn’t want to hear that Chris wasn't my father. To me, clearing his throat meant that he didn’t know how to explain the result to me, which was bad.
“Tell me, Chan, he’s my dad, right?”
“He’s your dad,” he revealed and after a few seconds of silence, I gave a short —really dark— laugh. I won.
Fuck you, Sam Antonio, I’m glad I killed your lying ass.
Chris Vincenzo was my father. I might have killed him —which I had every right to— but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to be associated with him.
“Really?” I asked in a gasp-like voice. I was really happy.
“Yes Jordy, but…” But? Why was there a but? All that mattered was that he was my dad.
“There’s a but?”
“You see, according to my research, your dad did two DNA tests.”
Two? Yeah he had two children. Me and that boy I didn’t know, that boy he had when he abandoned my mother and I. The boy should be ten years old now.
“Yes, you know he has another child, that boy I told you about…” I explained to him, but he interrupted me.
“Both were for you.”
I furrowed my eyebrows in honest confusion. “Why?”
“The first one was negative, the second was positive. The first was done in Paris, the second was done in South Africa.” I creased my eyebrows, not understanding a single thing he said. “I have a theory for that. The first one was negative; he must have been disappointed, that he didn’t bother about you and your mom when he took Cedric’s money. The second was positive; he must have been ashamed, which was why he probably returned to save you when Jayden emailed him.”
“The question on our minds now is, why did he do the first DNA? and why did he do the second DNA test?”
Who would answer that for us? Absolutely nobody. My mother claimed she didn’t know why her husband wanted to take a DNA test and I couldn’t go in front of Cedric to ask him why he told my dad to do a DNA test.