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The way her hand fitted perfectly in mine like it had been there before, the way her cold eyes embraced and warmed me up, the way her pussy wrapped around me like it was molded specially for me. Forme.
Something told me that was not the last time I’d see her, but I didn’t ever want to see her anymore. She was making me feel things that I didn’t want to feel, emotions that I was keeping for someone else. I hadn’t felt this way for anyone in a very long time.
The only person I had feelings for was gone.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’
I didn’t even know why I started apologizing to her. She must have thought I was a freak, she must have thought I was so weird. I hadn’t apologized to someone during sex in averylong time, at least not after my dozen therapy sessions. But all of a sudden, I apologized to her.
I sighed and laid my head on the edge of my office chair. My eyes scanned around the wall of the office in my house and that was when I saw it –the picture of both of me andHer. Eyes widened, cheeks puffed, lips curved in beautiful smiles, my hand was on her shoulders as the picture got clicked.
My Flower.
I was fourteen and she was eleven, my best friend, my first love. She had a crush on me and even though she would try to hide it, I knew it. The way she would steal glances at me, the way her smile would be so wide when she saw me. I knew all the signs, but she missed mine.
The way my pulse quickened at the mere sound of her voice, the way I would search for her in a house full of people and the way my eyes would light up if I saw her. I could bet my life that I fell for her first. How could I not? She was perfect.
Looking at the frame again, my lips curved with a sad smile. The picture was taken at the airport when my family and I were on our way to Paris. Our eyes were so puffy because we had cried, while our families laughed at our childishness. It was like we would never see each other again, but that wasn’t the case.
Who would have known that she would cry to her parents everyday and they would join us two weeks later?
Back then I was glad she did, now I wished she didn’t. I wished she had just stayed back. Then all that happened wouldn’t have happened.
I wished she never joined us in Paris.
The look in her eyes the last night I saw her told me that she hated me. The look told me that I meant nothing to her anymore, it told me that if she ever came across me, she would kill me. It warned me to stay far far away from her.
But I didn’t want to do that.
My heart still beat for her, everyday and every night. My heart longed for her and every time I heard from my friend slash private investigator that she wasn’t found, a piece of my heart shattered. I couldn’t help but assume the worst every time we failed to find her.
Was she dead? Did she really die that night?
She couldn’t have been dead, could she? No. She was a strong girl,mystrong girl. She was okay. Though my mind wouldn’t stop telling me that she was gone, that I had lost her. What would happen if I never found her? What would I do with my life?
The last day I had with her was dreadful. It was horrifying and it was terrible. It was a last day I never wanted to have with anybody, let alone my best friend.
Like my grandma always said; ‘Everyone in your life will have a last day with you, you just never know when it is. So treat people well.’ I didn’t treat Flower well. Fuck!None of ustreated Jordan well, and the last day I had with her would haunt me forever.
Especially if I never found her.
I rubbed the left side of my chest again as the Vixen came into my mind. I didn’t know who she was, but I loathed her already. There was no space for her in my heart, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about her.
My phone rang and I jolted up, now sitting straight on the chair when I saw the contact info. “Did you find her, John?”
John was myonlyfriend. A self-titled best friend of mine that I met in college, and a private security agent.
Since he and I graduated from college four years ago, he’d been searching for Jordan on my request and it’d been four years, but there’d been no hope of finding her.
“Calm down, Dee, it’s not always all about her. Can’t I just call you if I want to say hello?”
“Of course it’s always all about her, and no I don’t want you to call me if you want to say hello. I gave you a job and I only want you to call me when it’s done.” I snapped at him and was about to end the call when he said what I’d been waiting to hear for the past four years.
“Alright chill. I called to say that your girl might be right here with us.”
“What did you just say?” I asked in a voice barely there.
He was shitting me, right?