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“Jayden, please don’t say anything.”
“Answer me.”
“Yes, yes I have.”A lot of times.
“Does that make us the same?”
I shook my head at him. “I survived, you have to survive to make us the same.”
“Flower, it hurts.” Tears fell from the corner of his eyes and I caught it with my index finger.
“I know. Jayden please, you are losing so much blood, you can’t…” I gulped down the remaining words alongside the lumps in my throat and almost immediately, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach.
I shook it off. No pain for me until Jayden was okay. “Don’t do this to me, please. Gideon, call 911.”
“Alexis, you know I can't,” Gideon said and I cried. He was right, there were so many bodies present which could attract the cops and put us straight behind bars. “If they are looking for you to give you a petition, they are looking for me to kill,” he continued. “The only thing we can do is to take him to the hospital ourselves.”
My face turned red and my neck vein popped out again as my eyes darkened. “Then What Are You Waiting For? Get A Damn Car.” Without arguing, Gideon went outside, leaving Jayden and I.
I instantly felt guilty for shouting at him and I cussed inwardly at all the emotions I was feeling at once.
“Distract me before the car gets here,” Jayden grunted.
“I love you,” I confessed with no hesitation and he shut his eyes with a deep inhale.
“Nice distraction.” He said, his eyes still closed.
“I’m… I’m serious,” I quaked. “I’m sorry it took me this long to admit it, but I do love you. I doubt I even stopped, I was just too stubborn. Please believe me.”
Just two months ago, I was planning his and his brothers’ deaths. Just two months ago, I was mentally preparing to see his pictures after fucking a random dude I met at a club, a random dude that turned out to be him.
Just two months ago I was praying for him to give me a reason to kill him and now, here I was, hoping he didn’t die while confessing my feelings and begging that he believed me.
“I don’t know if I can trust your feelings. Do you know how to love?” He asked as he opened his eyes to look straight into my eyes.
My heart skipped and my body tingled at the weight of his stare. His eyes were full of hope, and the uncertainty in his voice made me realize that he still thought I was distracting him from the pain of the gunshot.
I did love him, God I did. I was stupid, trying to deny it, when the crush I had on him never even left in the first place.
He didn’t need to be so perfect, but he was.
Back then I wanted to kill him, but now, my hands itched to kill for him.
If he wanted me to prove my love by burning the city to the ground, all he needed to do was ask, then step back and watch me burn it all down in his name.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Ariana and Kendal. I want us to fuck anywhere and everywhere because we belong to each other and only each other. I want to go to sleep with you beside me, I want to wake up and not be able to move because your hand is around me, caging me to the bed. I want you to make me smiley faces avocado toast and coffee every morning, and I want you to plant white roses aroundourhome for me. I want to hear you call me Flower every time because it’s the special name that only you can call me. Does that count?”
A gigantic smile spread on his face and I watched as the light in his eyes returned. I shut my eyes trying to stop the way my heart sped up at the sight of his smile. He was ethereal, way too perfect for this world, and I’d be damned if I let anyone hurt him ever again.
“Fair enough,” he said with a wink and I gave a soft chuckle. At least he was still his nonchalant self.
“If there’s any other way for me to love you, you will teach me.”
“I will teach you,” he repeated as his bloody hand cupped my cheek. I leaned into his touch with my eyes closed and sobbed my heart out.
What would I do if he didn’t survive? “So please live for me, hm?”
“Flower.”