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“Flower, it’s me. It’s me Jayden, remember? Jay.” He tapped on his chest energetically, desperately trying to make me remember him.
I remembered him. Ineverforgot him.
He stared at me with pleading eyes, but I tightened my hand around my knife. My heart beat so loud against my chest that I was afraid he might hear it too. “Flower, please remember me. It’s Jay, your… your bad boy.” He croaked out in a voice barely heard as he choked on nothing.
He took another step forward and I took another step backward, feeling that my hands were shaking. No goddamnit, I couldn’t have an attack here. Not now.
He noticed the shaking knife and narrowed his eyes on me. “You remember me, don’t you?” He questioned skeptically.
I felt my heart beating faster, my eyes were starting to travel the way they did when I had my attacks. I was starting to feel like a stranger in my own body. My legs started getting numb and I desperately needed to hold on to something. But even with all that, I still held out my knife, protecting myself from himin all ways.
“Flower?” He spoke again, his hands still up. Tears fell from his eyes and all I wanted was for him to hold me again. But my ego couldn’t drop the knife. Tears began to well up in my eyes as well and almost immediately, over his shoulders, I saw people running out of the hotel and a smirk made its way to my lips.
Troy Antonio’s body had been found.
I loosened the hold on my knife, straightened and smirked at Jayden who looked so lost. “You might want to go back to the hotel,” I said as I jerked my head toward the hotel. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and I continued, “I mean you should check on your brother.”
He stared at me for a while, before looking at my knife, and then the hotel. He repeated the motion and his eyes slowly widened.
Realization dawned on him and he dashed toward the hotel. I breathed a laugh, strapped my knife to my waist and ran to my car.
A part of me was grateful that he left, while the other part was madand hurtthat he ran to his brother at the thought that he might be in danger even though he hadn’t seen me for ten years.
That was the reason he didn’t come with me in the first place, because he cared more about his brothers despite what they did to me.
Thank you, Jayden. Please keep giving me more reasons to want to kill you. I drove off.
The Antonios’ were not the type to give up on a fight, which meant that I had to clear everything that could make me worry.
As it was now, only Jayden knew I was the Alex that everyone had been searching for. Would he tell the cops?
Well, it didn’t matter if he did or not. I’d make sure to kill everyone before I get caught.
IFI ever get caught.
* * *
“Why? You'll have to tell me the reason first,” She argued and I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
I’d been on this with my mother for the past five minutes. I could decide to leave her alone, but I was hanging onto the last piece of humanity I had, yet she couldn’t see that, arguing with me as if I wasn’t doing it for her sake.
“I killed Troy,” I breathed out in frustration and she gasped out loud.
“You killed who?” She whispered as if she didn’t want to hear it. Actually, she didn’t.
“Troy, Troy Antonio.” I confirmed and she bursted into tears. I moved the phone away from my ear for a while. We’d continue when she finished.
“Jordan, I told you. I told you not to get involved with them. No, I begged you. I begged you so many times to let karma do its…”
“Karma?” I snapped and scoffed. “Let karma do what? Whatever the fuck karma’s been doing? It’s been ten years, Mother. I have a mark that is about 20 cm long and I always have to wear long sleeves because I am insecure about it. EVEN IN THE SUMMER. I still get nightmares of the men driving their dicks into me every night. I literally suffer every night, while all of them are living their lives.”
“Rick has the audacity to have a wife and she is pregnant. What does he think? That she’s going to give birth? No, I’ll kill his wife before I kill him, I promise you. Trust me, I have never felt so satisfied in my entire life than I did when I slit Troy’s stupid neck.” I said while my mother cried. I remembered meeting Jayden and almost burst into tears myself.
“I even met Jay, and he… he left me again. He ran back to his brother like the stupid pathetic daddy’s boy he is. I almost had a panic attack in front of him. He would have seen just how weak I still am, he would have known that he and his brothers still appear in my nightmares every night. He would have seen everything I still feel for him, he would have…” I choked on my words and I stopped.
“I’m sorry.” She sobbed and I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. I shut my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I shouldn’t cry because of someone on my list.
“I am a murderer. I’ll put you in countless dangers. You should hate me. Leave my life and return to South Africa so you can be safe from me.”