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I danced until sweat beaded on my skin and my head swam with alcohol.
Song after song passed until I was sweating, and in desperate need of a bathroom break. I looked around and found Keira unashamedly making out with Sean, the tequila shot guy. I pinched her backside to get her attention, and she opened her eyes but didn’t break the kiss. I mimed to her that I was going to the bathroom. She waved okay and returned to her make out session. I passed a few of Bradley’s friends on my way off the dance floor, each of them wrapped up in a different girl. Bradley himself was over at the bar talking to another girl.
I found the bathrooms and joined the queue, slumping against the wall as I waited my turn. I’d had one shot and one drink so I was barely tipsy, not nearly drunk enough to deal with the pain my feet were in. I tried wiggling my toes but that only made it worse. The alcohol felt warm in my system and now that I wasn’t distracted by dancing, I couldn’t help but think of Alfie and how angry he would be if he could see me right now. Or maybe he wouldn’t care at all. I shook my head, trying to force all thoughts of him out of my brain.
Finally, it was my turn. The bathroom was the usual Saturday night shit show. The floor was sticky and wet, the smell of hairspray and perfume thick in the air. There was a girl crying in the corner surrounded by her friends. I used the facilities and fought my way to the sinks to splash some cold water on my neck. I looked in the mirror; my eye liner had smudged a little but my hair was holding up okay. There was a pair of girls taking selfies next to me and I tried to ignore their pouting faces, focusing on my own instead. I looked sad. I could see it there, sitting behind my bravado. I hated it.
I headed back out and went to the bar. Bradley was still there and waved me over. “Where’s your friend?” I asked when I got to him, looking around for the girl he’d been talking to.
“I don’t know, gone off with her friends I guess. I can’t say I’m upset.” He grinned and gestured at the bar. “Buy me a drink?” I blinked in surprise. I’d never met a man who could drop his ego long enough to let a woman buy him a drink.
I gave the bartender our orders and rested back on my heels to wait. I felt Bradley’s hand at the small of my back and looked up to see he was closer than I’d thought. I didn’t know how to respond. He gazed down at me, his brown eyes flickering to my mouth and back up to meet mine.
Alfie…
A loud whistle jolted us out of our bubble. The bartender was holding my change over the bar, looking annoyed. I took it with an apologetic grin and thanked him. I had a large gulp of my vodka tonic, feeling very aware of Bradley’s arm around me. His presence was warm as always, yet I felt the need to pull away. I took a piece of ice in my mouth and swirled it around on my tongue. I wanted Alfie out of my head. There was a good man standing right next to me who seemed to like me. I was ready to lead Bradley to the dance floor, when he squeezed my waist and yelled something in my ear.
“What?” I yelled back.
“I said, I didn’t know you’d invited him.”
I looked up at him, confused. What the hell was he talking about? “Who?”
Bradley nodded at the giant live feed screen, his mouth set in a grim line. I followed his gaze and my heart stopped.
There, on the big screen, was Alfie Tell.
He’s here.
“Code red,” I whispered, too quiet for Bradley to hear me. I was frozen, unable to take my eyes off the screen.
Bradley hovered next to me. “Are you alright?”
“Can you go and find Keira? She’s on the dance floor with Sean. Please Bradley, go and get her.” I needed her. I didn’t know what I was going to do but I could feel the swell of anxiety rising and I knew it would only be a matter of time before water was rushing in my ears again. I needed Keira. Bradley wavered for a moment before disappearing.
The live feed was still focused on Alfie and I drank in the sight of him. Those steel greys, that mouth that had explored every part of me.
I looked at the background behind him and from the familiar red double doors I guessed he was up on the balcony. His eyes were panning across the room, searching. I felt myself shrinkinto the bar, even though I knew he couldn’t see me from up there.
I didn’t know what to do. Run to him or hide? Was I happy or terrified? The camera angle shifted a little and I spotted Riley.
Suddenly, as if he was never there to begin with, his face disappeared and was replaced by two girls pouting their lips at the camera. I looked around as if he might materialise in front of me at any moment. Maybe I could just leave and text Keira to tell her what happened? I quickly discarded that thought. I couldn’t leave her on her own with a bunch of strange guys. I was stuck until she got here.
I turned back to the bar and guzzled my drink. Liquid courage, that’s what I needed. When Keira got here, I’d make my escape.
I wanted him but I forced myself to remember why I needed to keep my distance. The control. The manipulation. The fact that he knew where to find me because that stupid tracker was still in my phone. He had left me, and him being here now didn’t change anything. I’d lost him once and I would do anything to avoid feeling so worthless and rejected again. If I let him back in, what would I do to keep him? To avoid feeling that pain? His power over me would be even greater than before. A part of me wondered if that was why he’d left me in the first place.
I jumped in surprise as I felt someone come up behind me. “Hey, baby,” a slippery voice whispered in my ear. My skin turned cold, my stomach twisted, and I turned, already knowing who it was.
Adam.
This could not be happening.
Where the hell is Keira?
He looked exactly the same. Pale blond hair, small nose, smelling of beer and cheap aftershave.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He gave me what I’m sure he thought was a charming smile. “How are you, Lola? You look good.” My skin crawled as he eyed me. He was slurring his words a little. He was drunk. Of course he was drunk. Everyone here was drunk.