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“I had them open early for me.”
Of course he did.
“Alfie, I really appreciate the sentiment but if this is just another dress picked out by your personal shopper?—”
“I didn’t use her.” He lifted his chin, as if daring me to laugh at him. Is that what this was about? He was nervous because he’d bought me a gift?
I opened the bag first, and pulled out the two smaller silk bags inside. In one I found bright red ballet pumps and in the other, sunglasses in a matching colour.
My bottom lip trembled as I figured out what he’d done.
“Alfie, what is this?”
“This is me endeavouring to do better.” He watched me intently, his gaze so penetrative I could practically feel it through my skin.
I moved to the box and, with shaking hands, I untied it and lifted the lid, my eyes filling with tears as I discovered what was inside.
The simple dress was the brightest red I’d ever seen in my life and made from soft, relaxed cotton. I held it up, my heart feeling like it was about to burst.
“Say something, O’Connell.” He looked like a man poised on the edge of a cliff and it staggered me how huge this was for him. It broke my heart how terrified he was that he’d gotten it wrong and I had to wonder if hehaddone this before, if he had given gifts and had them thrown back in his face.
I turned and held the dress out to him.
“Dress me,” I whispered. His eyes flashed, the tension leaving his body, replaced by a different kind of energy. He took the dress from my hands, carefully placing it back in the box. He pulled the bed sheet from my body and I let it drop and pool at my feet, shivering as his gaze grazed over me, proprietary. How many times had we stood like this—he fully dressed in his suit and I in nothing but my skin? More times than I could count and the metaphor was never lost on me.
He reached around me and pulled an underwear set from a drawer. My breath hitched as he knelt. He lifted each foot, slipping the cream lace underwear on and guiding them up my legs, following their path with a trail of kisses. His hands explored me in a way that wasn’t sexual, but worshipping. He was adoring me. They mounted the curves of my hips and the bends of my waist with innate focus. He was a passionate, intense man and at the moment, the entirety of his powers was focused on me. Yet, I knew he wasn’t going to take me. I don’t know how I knew it, I just did.
Still on his knees, he took the pumps and slipped them onto my feet. He ran his hands over them, pressing at my toes to make sure they fit. Satisfied, he stood and, trailing his fingertips along the skin of my thighs, my waist, he retrieved the matching bra from the drawer. I reached to take it but he just fixed me with a look that had me drawing my hand away immediately.
“Turn around,” he instructed and I did as he asked. His fingers left a heated trail down my spine and I bit my lip, stifling a moan. His arms came around me and he slipped the bra on easily. I held the cups in place as he fastened it with expert fingers. He took such care of me, paying attention to the minutest of details. He checked the straps and tightened them a little, then looked me over to ensure it fit properly. It dawned on me then, as his focus zeroed in on me to the expenseof everything else, just how dangerous he had the potential to be. He would stalk, he would be ruthless, but he would also be protective and loving. He was entirely two sides of a very precarious coin.
He lifted the dress and I raised my arms. The dress fell over me and the feel of it was just right. He guided the thin straps over my shoulders and traced his fingers over the heart-shaped neckline encasing my breasts. He turned me and it didn’t escape me that he never moved, merely manoeuvred me around him. It was such an arrogant thing to do and yet, I didn’t hate it. In fact, I was coming to admire him for it.
He fastened the dress, guiding the zip up easily. His arms came around me to fasten the tie at my waist and I leant into him, baring my neck and sighing as he kissed me there. When the tie was tied and I was finally dressed, he tilted my chin and claimed my mouth in a soft kiss. He pressed his forehead to mine and for a long moment, he just held me.
I drew away first and, grabbing the sunglasses, I took his hand and led him to the mirror. My face split into a smile when I saw myself. I looked beautiful. I did an experimental spin and giggled as the material tickled my thighs. Alfie stood behind me, watching on in his grayscale costume. I grinned at him in the mirror and he gave me a small, almost sad smile. I turned and pressed a hand to his cheek.
“You did a good thing, you don’t need to look so guilty. I love this so much you have no idea.” I grinned again, practically bouncing on my toes.
“You break my heart, O’Connell. The things I do to you…and it takes so little to make you happy again.”
“You haven’t done anything so bad yet that can’t be mended,” I told him, but I didn’t miss the dark look that flitted across his face. It was gone as quickly as it came and, before I could thinkmore of it, the shrill sound of his phone pierced the air. I was really starting to hate that thing.
I pushed up on my toes and kissed him, before slipping my new sunglasses on and dancing to the door. I made my way downstairs, his lilting Italian following me as I went. I grabbed my bag from the foyer table, stopping for a moment to smell the vase of bleeding hearts that always sat there. It was the last thing you saw on your way out and the first thing you saw on your way in. I caught Alfie’s eye and gave him a shy smile. I felt giddy and that only got worse when he slipped his Ray-Bans on and stalked to the lift, still speaking in flawless Italian.
He held the phone away from his ear. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, just a sec.” I dug around in my bag, searching for my pills and my heart plummeted when I came up empty.No, no no!I’d put my pills in the little inside pocket three days ago, I was certain of it! I’d taken one yesterday morning and zipped the pocket back up. I felt around inside my bag, wondering if there was a hole in the lining the pills could have fallen through. Nothing. They must have fallen out somehow. Perhaps in my van, or at work maybe…
Why did I have to be such an idiot?
“Problem?” Alfie asked. The lift opened in front of him and he held it. Gentle, loving Alfie of moments ago was now sharing space with business Alfie, and business Alfie had shit to do. I closed my bag quickly and shook my head. After our first night together, he’d gone to very illegal lengths to make sure I got my birth control. He’d have a fit if he knew I was being so careless.
“No. Not at all.” I smiled and stepped into the lift.
Goddammit, Lola.
Fifty-Eight