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“Do you really think this is going to work this way? That you can bully and manipulate me and then go back to normal when you’re done? I’m never going to know the difference between a fish fork and a salad fork, Alfie. I’m never going to be your subordinate either. I’m always going to try to comfort you when you’re unhappy and call bullshit when you try to hide something from me.” I stopped, giving him the chance to give me some sign that he was sorry, that he didn’t really need me to change, but he gave me nothing.
I pulled my gaze away before I broke and looked out of the window, trying to focus on anything but him. I watched as Bradley pulled in and got out of his beaten up old Mazda. The usual splitting sensation of having one foot in one world and the other foot in another rippled through me, and as Bradley disappeared out of sight I forced my gaze back to the heartbreaker beside me. There was one more question I needed an answer to.
“I should never have designed the Evergarden for you, should I?” I whispered, my voice so broken I could barely hearmy own words. I waited for him to answer but when he finally did, I wished that he hadn’t.
“Your designs were fine, Lola.”
“Is that all?” I asked, my heart breaking. But he said nothing, only watched me with those awful, lifeless eyes. “Fine.” I snapped off my seat belt and opened my door. “I take it back. I take it all back! You don’t deserve that garden, and you don’t deserve me,” I shouted defiantly, but a treacherous tear slipped down my cheek, betraying me. I wish I could say that he hadn’t seen that tear, that I’d turned my head before he could see it fall, but that wouldn’t be true. He’d seen it, he’d seen me crying, and he’d let me leave anyway.
Fifty-Four
Ithrew myself into my work, but my lateness hadn’t gone unnoticed by Mark, and neither had my overly formal dress. He eyed it with suspicion but thankfully said nothing. The events of this morning played on repeat in my head all day. I picked through every scene, reliving and re-examining, trying to figure out what I did wrong and how I could have done it differently.
Worryingly, the rest of my day was Alfie-free. It was a relief to have some breathing space but it terrified me too, and once again I found myself in that confusing dichotomy, caught between wishing he would never leave and wishing he would never come back.
It wasn’t until 5.30 rolled around and I was packing up that I remembered my van was still parked at The Carlton.Goddammit. I huffed as I stepped out of the cabin and texted Keira to pick me up. Luckily, it was a beautiful day so I decided to wait on one of the show benches near the car park. The last customers of the day were busy loading their purchases into their vehicles, the car park slowly emptying until only a couple of cars remained. I watched as an elderly man loaded his wife's new roses into the back of their Volvo. He planted a soft kiss on her lips before he opened her door for her. I found myself jealousof them, despite the stiffness in their joints and the lines in their faces. I was envious of the security they had in each other.
I watched them pull out of the car park, and as they disappeared my attention faded to the only car left, a dark blue one parked under the old oak tree where Alfie and I had parked earlier. It was facing away from me and deep in the shadows so I couldn’t make out the license plate. The door opened as if the driver was about to get out but my attention was quickly snatched away by the Rolls Royce that pulled up in front of me, effectively blocking my view. I jumped in surprise as the tinted window rolled down.
“Elliot, what are you doing here?” I shot a furtive glance behind me to make sure that none of my colleagues had seen him.
“Mr Tell sent me.”
“Well, I figured that out. You need to leave before someone sees you.”
“Actually, that’s why I’m going to stay. Mr Tell seemed to think that if I picked you up here then you would be more likely to get in to avoid being seen.” My mouth dropped open.That sneaky genius.I was livid and it must have shown on my face because Elliot raised a defensive hand at me. “Don’t shoot the messenger,” he said and I rolled my eyes at him.
“I’m not mad at you, Elliot, but you can tell your boss that if and when I want to speak to him I will do it on my own terms, not his.” Elliot paused for a minute, doing that recalculating thing that Alfie was so good at.
“Your van isn’t here.”
“Keira is picking me up. I don’t want to see him, Elliot,” I said as firmly as I could. I was not, under any circumstances, going to give in.
“I understand, but avoiding him will do you no good.”
“I don’t care,” I snapped, all but stamping my foot. I was being stubborn, I knew it, but I didn’t care about that either.
“Please, Miss, just get in the car.”
“No, I won’t be bossed around by that arrogant, arse-faced—” My voice caught in my throat and I turned, my ears picking up the sound of Mark talking to someone. He was getting closer and if he saw me talking to a strange man in an expensive suit in an expensive car, he’d have questions.Oh, hell.I did the only thing I could do, I promptly threw myself into the Rolls and sank down so he wouldn’t be able to see me. The windows were tinted but I wasn’t taking any risks. Elliot turned and peered down at me through the glass divide.
“Had a change of heart did you?”
“Just drive,” I grumbled and from my crouched position I pulled out my phone and texted Keira, telling her there’d been a change of plan.
My foot tapped an anxious rhythm in the back of the car. I didn’t know what Alfie was going to throw at me tonight but I knew that I had to figure out a way to stand up to it. Not that standing up for myself had worked so far. My defiance was hanging on by a thread and that thread grew weaker and weaker every day.
We were greeted at Harrington House by a flurry of activity. Workmen rushed about with a nervous look on their face. It was a picture that told me the boss was home andSirwas in a very bad mood.
A sudden hush fell over the place and everyone seemed to move much quicker, to prove they were working hard or trying to get out of sight of the man who had stepped out onto the front steps, his steel grey eyes boring a hole into me. The ache in mychest was so sharp I could taste it. My skin flushed with a fresh wave of this morning’s humiliation and I had to fight the urge to duck behind Elliot and jump back into the car.
From across the driveway, Alfie Tell inclined his head the merest inch, commanding me to come to him. I turned to Elliot.
“Pray for me,” I whispered and Elliot’s eyes shone with amusement, though the rest of his features were resolutely professional. I turned and headed towards the house. I couldn’t fight the feeling that I was walking right into his trap, but I was powerless to do anything other than go to him. It was a painfully magnetic feeling that I was both addicted to and despised in equal measure. It was impossible to describe how intimidating he was. The sheer power of the man was overwhelming, even from a distance.
I reached the stone steps and paused. I felt like a peasant at a king’s court. He withdrew a hand from a pocket and crooked two fingers to me, motioning me towards him, and like a puppet I climbed the steps. When I reached him he glowered at me and I tipped my chin up in defiance. The seconds ticked by as I waited to see what he would do. His jaw clenched and released, his eyes flashed, and he looked as if he wanted to force me up against the marble pillar and fuck me raw.
I could see a torrent of words waiting just behind his lips but when he finally opened his mouth, all he said was, “Come.” Just that one word had me threatening to buckle, my skin flushed red. His eyes fixed on the throbbing pulse in my throat. Alfie Tell read me like a fucking book, but instead of taking advantage, he turned and walked into the house, leaving me to follow like an obedient puppy.