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“Every time? Alfie, can’t you see that tonight was a bad idea?”
He tilted his head, observing me for a moment. “What bothered you most about tonight? My use of the word cunt? The idea of touching yourself in a public place? Or that it excited you?”
“Maybe what bothered me is that you were angry at Adam’s controlling behaviour, despite having put a tracker on my vehicle and my phone today. You don’t see the irony there? Because I sure as hell do. I don’t like being followed, Alfie. I want them gone. Now.” I glared at him but he just gazed right back at me.
“Lola, I understand why the trackers bother you so much but I promise my motives aren’t insidious. I just want to keep you safe. I—” He cut himself off, refusing to divulge too much.
You what?What had he been about to say? Sick of playing these guessing games, I threw open the door of his very expensive car and stomped up the path towards my home.
I should have known he’d follow me.
He cut in front of me, blocking me from my front door. I scowled and sidestepped him but his hands were on me in a heartbeat. Encircling my wrists, he turned us and walked me backwards until I felt my front door at my back. I found myself pinned, my wrists clamped behind my back in one of his very large hands. Frustration burned in my gut and if my sister and nephew hadn’t been asleep inside, I would have screamed in frustration. I wondered if he knew this, if he was using their sleeping presence to keep me quiet. Could he be that manipulative?
He could have taken advantage of the position, could have kissed me or allowed his other hand to roam, but he merely looked down at me with interest and waited for me to stop struggling. I tried loosening his grip one final time before giving up and slumping against the door with a huff. He was immovable.
His free hand came up to cup my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I glared up at him but he looked as aloof as ever.
“Do you want to know what I think? I think the trackers upset you, sure, and I think the word ‘cunt’ might have botheredyou too, but here’s what bothered you more. I can’t imagine that you tell many people about your losses, about your father leaving you, about Adam, but you told me. You’re not even sure that you like me, yet you told me and you can’t understand why. Vulnerability frightens you, doesn’t it? That’s helpful to know.”
“You don’t know anything.” My breaths came in short, sharp pants, my mind swimming at his close proximity.
“But I’m learning. Every time you run from me, I learn more. You ran out on me tonight because in one evening, I’ve managed to strip you bare.” He leaned in, his body pressing flush against me. My breath caught in my throat as his lips hovered over mine. “Imagine what I could do to you in a week, a month, a year…a lifetime.” His gaze dropped to my lips, to my throat and further. His fingers trailed a path down, over my clavicle, until his palm rested on my chest.
“I can feel your heart beating out of your chest, trying to get to me. It aches for me, O’Connell.” His dark gaze found mine once more. “Other parts of you ache for me too.”
I couldn’t breathe. He held me on a precipice that was becoming all too familiar and just before I fell, the corner of his mouth lifted.
“Good night, O'Connell.” He released me and I sagged against my front door, watching as the mercurial man slipped into his car and drove away without another glance.
I was so very screwed.
Sixteen
“Auntie Lo! Auntie Lo, wake up, Mummy says you're late for work!” The next morning, I forced my eyes open and instantly wished I hadn't. Ryan dive bombed me as I tried to sit up, his little body colliding with mine, sending me back into the mattress. “You're late, Auntie Lo!”
“What time is it?” I groaned as he bounced on my bed.
“Erm…the big hand is on the six and the little hand is on the eight.”
“Shit!” I flung myself out of bed.
“Mummy!” Ryan yelled as he jumped off my bed and pounded down my stairs. “Auntie Lo said a rude word!”
Fifteen panicked minutes later I was in my van and blasting music loud enough to keep Alfie Tell at bay. I’d gone to sleep feeling swarmed by him and I’d woken the same way. I wanted to lie in bed and play over his every expression, word, and touch, but I had a meeting with Mark Tafferty, so Alfie Tell would have to wait.
I stopped at the office long enough to pick up the files I needed before driving to Mark's. He answered the door in jeans, a flannel shirt, and thin rimmed glasses. He gave me a warm smile and we exchanged pleasantries as I followed him inside toa living room that consisted mainly of unpacked boxes, piles of books, and two leather armchairs.
“Have you just moved in?”
He shrugged and took a seat in one of the armchairs, gesturing for me to take the other. “Been here about a year.”
An upturned box served as a coffee table and on it was a plate of store bought blueberry muffins. My mouth watered at the sight of them. “They’re your favourite I think,” Mark said with a knowing smile, his skin wrinkling around his eyes, showing his age slightly.
“You’re an angel, thank you.” I grabbed the nearest one and tore a chunk off, popping it into my mouth. I had to stifle a groan as the delicate flavours hit my tongue. Mark let out one of his rare laughs and I covered my mouth as I ate. “Sorry, I had to skip breakfast this morning.” He waved me off and we got started.
Mark had a way of listening as if he wasn’t really listening at all. His eyes glazed over, looking almost bored, but behind the vacant expression I could see he was busy creating a 3D copy of the designs in his mind. I drew my talk to a close and without a word he reached into my lap, retrieving Riley’s plans. He feasted his eyes on them as if he could step into the page and walk those pencilled gardens.
I tucked into another muffin, eating in silence as he looked through the file. “He’s very good.” That was high praise from Mark. I swallowed a chunk of blueberry muffin and cleared my throat.