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“You’re right.” He paused and I knew what he was about to say.
“Don’t say it, Alfie. We’re here now. I don’t want to think about anything else.”
I knew we needed to talk about him leaving but I had been more focused on trying to keep a modicum of emotional distance so it wouldn’t hurt so much when he did. It was an inevitable conversation and maybe I was a coward for avoiding it but I only wanted to think about him tonight. Nothing else.
Twenty-Three
The next day, excited butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I watched Bradley study my plans. It wasn’t often I got to show off my skills to someone who could truly appreciate them.
He sat next to me at one of the picnic benches in the playground. At 5.30, the only people still at the school were us and the same caretaker that had worked here when I was a student. There was something comforting about seeing that man in his overalls, cleaning the windows. It was reassuring that some things didn’t change. He had even remembered me.‘I could never forget that head of red hair!’
Bradley and I sat in the deserted playground while I talked him through my plans for the school garden. The garden was a big enough space but with only a tiny budget. Still, I’d made it work. I was going to install a trellised walkway leading from the gate into the garden. I’d allocated an area for bug hotels accompanied by bird feeders and an outdoor classroom where children could sit and study the wildlife.
Further on I was going to create an edible garden, consisting of four raised beds for growing vegetables, a small greenhouse, and even an orchard. The end of the garden would be the wilderness area, with willow huts and of course a wildlife pondright at the bottom. Flowerbeds would be scattered throughout and line the edge of the garden. A winding brick pathway tied the whole thing together.
“You could use more perennials,” Bradley said thoughtfully. “These beds will have to be replanted each year with the amount of annuals you’re using.”
“That’s fine. Rosie has said she’ll give an ongoing discount on flowers and some of the parents have offered to donate. It’ll be an ongoing project. It’s never supposed to be finished as such. I want it to always need work so the children can really get stuck in and learn year after year.” I bit my lip, watching his chocolate brown eyes study my work. “So? Do you like it? Does it live up to the garden you did at your nana’s care home?”
“I wouldn’t compare them. That was supposed to be sat in and soothed by, this is meant to be an educational adventure. I think it’s beautiful, Lo.” He smiled at me and I was surprised by how hard it was to look away. “Come on, let's empty your van.”
Before leaving work, Bradley had helped me load up all of the supplies from Rosie’s into my van. Now we began the arduous task of carrying it all around the school building, through the playground, all the way to the garden. By the fourth trip, I was definitely grateful he was here.
As long as the light held out, Bradley worked with me to get the infrastructure laid down. We used bamboo canes to mark out our beds, the location of the edible garden and so on until finally, I could see a skeletal view of how it was going to look.
Bradley leaned against the gate, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his dirty jeans. “That is going to be a lot of digging, Lola.”
“Scared your muscles aren’t up to the task?” I teased.
“Hey, my muscles can handle anything.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket, breaking the moment. I pulled it out and sighed as I read the message.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Just my sister. She’s meeting a friend for drinks tonight. I forgot I’m supposed to be on babysitting duty. I should go,” I said reluctantly.
“Sure.” He gave an easy shrug and followed me out the gate. “I think it’s sweet that you take care of your nephew. I have two nieces, and I miss hanging out with them.”
“Maybe you can go home to visit soon? I bet they miss you too. Ryan is a handful but I’d miss him like crazy if I couldn’t see him every day.”
Bradley gazed down at me as we walked, an amused smile playing around his mouth.
“What? Do I have dirt on my face?”
“No,” he laughed. “I just like your kindness. It’s a quality I value in…in people. In friends.”
I decided to ignore the awkward tone in his voice. As much as I enjoyed spending time with Bradley, Alfie was an ever present force in my mind that refused to allow space for any other man. Tomorrow seemed like such a long time to wait to see him but he’d said he was tied up with meetings tonight. It bothered me that I was already missing him, I was already more attached than I liked.
“Well, thank you and thanks for helping me with all of this. I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”
“Yeah, and then on Saturday we can really get stuck in.” He walked away, an excited grin on his face. Like me, he couldn’t wait to get started.
I got home as quickly as I could, entering my cottage with a flurry of apologies for being late. Natalie rushed straight by me out the door with a call over her shoulder that Ryan had already had his dessert so not to listen when he tried to tell me otherwise. I found my nephew on the couch in his pyjamas watching cartoons. I grabbed a bowl of the chilli my sister hadmade for dinner and joined him. He snuggled up next to me, accepting the occasional forkful of food I offered him.
Ryan’s bedtime came quickly but, as tired as I was, I wasn’t ready for sleep yet. After I put him to bed, I returned to the TV but I couldn’t focus on it. My body still sung with Alfie’s touch even though it had been more than a day since I’d seen him. To keep myself distracted, I decided to get up and make a casserole for dinner tomorrow, to give Natalie a night off from cooking.
As I peeled potatoes, my mind was spinning with thoughts of the school garden. I ran over the plan for Saturday again and again. Did I have the right materials? Enough volunteers?