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“What indeed,” he whispered back, then his mouth met mine and I didn’t give a damn about the Never Tell Club any more.
Alfie eventually let me go with the promise that I would see him tonight. In truth, I would have preferred to spend time with my sister and nephew. Since Alfie had come into my life I barely saw them any more but I didn’t want to start another argument so I let it be.
I opened the door to the bunker and found Mark at his desk, his gaze focused on a set of designs in front of him.
“Morning.” A few months ago I would have considered Mark a good friend, or at the very least a good colleague, but he had been so peculiar with me recently that instead of breezing in and asking him about his weekend, I found myself hovering with nervous energy. He looked up at me, taking in the t-shirt I wore that obviously belonged to a man. I was starting to regret turning down Alfie’s offer of more appropriate clothing.
“Good morning, Lola. How was your weekend?” His voice was cold.
“Fine, thanks.” His beady eyes that I’d once thought of as kind landed on my bare thighs, then drifted up to my chest, then finally my face. The judgement was clear on his face and part of me wanted to tell him to screw himself but another part of me, the part that still wanted his approval, felt embarrassed.
“Do you plan on sitting down and getting some work done or would you rather stand in the doorway all day?”
His rudeness stunned me and for a moment I just stood there.
“Mark…” I wanted to talk to him, to find out what his problem was, but at the last moment I thought better of it. Was it really worth having it out with him if I was leaving in two weeks?
“Lola?”
“Nothing. I need to have a word with Rosie about something, I’ll be back in a while.”
“Fine. I need you to review the order for the Shrike project when you’re done. It’s a nature reserve project for the council. I would have included you in the planning but you’ve been distracted recently.” His gaze dropped to Alfie’s shirt again. Mark was purposely trying to upset me, but why? Instead of pushing it further like I wanted to, I gave him a tight smile and got out of there.
I found Rosie knee deep in thyme, bent over a raised bed. Daisy was lounging in the dappled shade of a nearby plum tree. Rosie burst into a smile when she saw me.
“Morning Sunshine! Pass me that trowel will you?” She waved in the general direction of a few scattered tools. She looked her usual, wonderfully chaotic self, her hair pushed off her face and tied with a strip of paisley fabric. She had a shawl wrapped around her generous frame and it was pinned in place with a green-eyed owl pin. Floral wellington boots adorned her feet. She was a woman completely at home in her environment, satisfied and content. I hated what I was about to do.
“Rosie, have you got a moment?” I asked as I passed her the blue-handled trowel. She reached for it over her shoulder, her concentration firmly on the task at hand. Like me, Rosie detested wearing gardening gloves unless she absolutely had to and as a result her bare hands were covered in earth all the way up her forearms.
“Of course, dear. Help me will you?”
“Rosie, it’s kind of important,” I said, but I should have known better than to try to get her full attention when she was elbow deep in soil.
“Talk away, dear.” She waved a hand at me.
“It’s a professional matter.”
“I’m listening. Make a start on that grid, darling.” Beside Rosie’s thyme patch was a bare patch of soil, marked out specifically for sage. The sage sat by the bed just waiting to be plunged into the rich soil. I got to work, my hands sinking into the motions I’d learnt at my mum’s and gran’s side.
I was just gathering the nerve to break the news to her when she spoke.
“So, how is your plan for the Harrington garden coming along?” My thoughts had become so consumed with all things Alfie over the last few days that I’d completely forgotten aboutit. I needed to get a grip on that. If I wasn’t careful, Alfie would erase all of my own thoughts until there was nothing left but his name imprinted on my brain.
“It’s going okay. I’m just a little stuck on planting.” It was true. I had drawn up a good layout but that wasn’t enough. In order to design well I needed to put my true feeling into the garden and that was the part that was flummoxing me. I didn’t know what I wanted to express or how to express it.
“Well, I have faith in you, sweetheart.”
“Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “So, there’s, well, there’s something I need to tell you and I…well, I don’t really know how to say it?—”
“You’re leaving us.”
My head snapped up. How had she known?
“It’s alright, dear. I’m very sorry to hear it, of course, but I can’t say I’m entirely surprised. So, where are you going?” She hadn’t looked at me yet but I could hear the sadness in her voice. My stomach sank. This felt awful. Even Daisy looked upset.
“Well, a couple of opportunities have come up. I haven’t decided which way I’m going to go yet but either way it means moving away.” We worked the soil in unison and I was grateful for the distraction. I think I might have burst into tears if I’d had to look at her.
“I understand. You’re an ambitious young woman and you need something bigger to sink your teeth into. I had hoped that Mark would…well, never mind that now. I had wondered if your leaving might have something to do with Mr Tell? Oh, sweetheart, don't look so surprised! He picks you up most afternoons and drops you off most mornings. I’m not a complete fool, you know! He is very handsome.” She nudged me.