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“Where are you going?” I heard him rise from the bed but I didn’t dare turn back. If I looked at him, I’d never leave.
“I’m going to find my clothes, then I’m going home.” My fingers closed around the door handle, but no sooner had I opened the door than his arms were around me.
It was so quick. One moment, I was opening the door, and the next, I was pressed up against it. He gripped my wrists and yanked them above my head to hold me up against the door. He was everywhere, pressing into me from behind, swarming my senses.
“Stay. I’m not done with you yet.”Oh God.I gave an experimental tug on my wrists, but he was immovable. The knot of my towel was starting to slip and I pressed myself up against the door, desperate not to let it fall.
“Please, let go,” I said softly. He released my wrists immediately and my hands flew to my towel, holding it to me. He didn’t step away though, and kept one hand against the door, preventing me from leaving.
“Are you really going to leave over this?”
“It’s not just the act, Alfie, it’s the manipulation that runs through your veins thicker than blood. I did this dance with Adam a thousand times. I know these steps. He behaved badly, I confronted him, and somehow it all ended up being my fault. You hacked my medical records without my permission. Why would you think it was okay to do that?”
“It rarely occurs to me to consider how another person might feel about my actions. I want to know where you are so I’m having you tracked. I wanted you to take contraception so I obtained some.” He spoke with a smooth authority that infuriated me. I clenched and unclenched my fists, determined to keep myself together.
“Did it maybe occur to you that I might understand your concerns? If I’d known this was a problem, I would have told you myself what kind of pills I take. You wouldn’t have had to hack my records.”
His brows knitted together as he considered my words. “No, that hadn’t occurred to me.”
“Have you done this before? I can’t imagine you’ve worn a condom every time. You must have slipped up once or twice.”
He scowled at me. “No, I don’tslip up, Lola. I’ve been with women without a condom before but those women are vetted first.”
‘Vetted’. How romantic.
“So, why didn’t you wear one with me? If it was so important you should have said. I wouldn’t have minded.”
“I didn’t want to.” He shook his head as if he didn’t understand his own actions. “I wanted to feel you, I wanted you to feel me. I trusted you.”
“Apparently not.” If he’d trusted me, he wouldn’t have done this.
“I did trust you, I just...” He pushed away from the door and I let out a breath, my body both relieved and pining for him to come back. He ran his hands through his hair, smoothing it, trying to keep his cool facade in place.
“I woke in the night and I was watching you while you slept. I started thinking about you breaking your word to me. I’ve never cared about any other woman betraying me before. But the thought of you being the one to try to fuck me over...the thought of it was intolerable. So I had Elliot take care of it.”
I stared at this man, this mercurial, complicated man who couldn’t even look me in the eye.
“Alfie, why didn’t you just talk to me?”
“I don’t know,” he murmured.
“What’s that? The great Alfie Tell doesn’t know something?”
“No. I don’t,” he snapped, the venom in his tone shocking me. “You’re becoming a real fucking problem for me, O’Connell. I don’t do this. I don’t behave this way. I don’t make these irrational, foolish decisions.”
“Then why are you chasing me? If I’m such a problem for you, why did you sleep with me?”
“Because I was trying to get rid of you!”
I was too shocked by his outburst to process the words or how much they hurt. Alfie Tell didn’t shout. It was beneath him. He snapped his jaw shut, pulling back his control.
“I wanted you out of my head. Last night, I was awake long after you’d fallen asleep, waiting for this feeling to be gone, but it just got worse, and when I woke up this morning, it was still there,growing.It didn’t work.”
“You thought you could fuck me out of your system,” I said, surprised at how calm I sounded. He just nodded. I stood there, my arms folded over my towelled chest. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. “Out of interest, what would you have done with me if it had worked?”
“I would have sent you home. Obviously.”
“And the project? Would you have taken that away?”