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Gently, I trailed my fingers through his hair. I let my fingertips continue their exploration, tracing over the planes of his forehead, his cheekbones, his strong jaw.
“What’re you doing?”
I smiled. I should’ve known he was awake. “Just memorising you.”
“What for? I’m not going anywhere.”
I traced my fingers over his lips and then leaned in to kiss him. It was warm, gentle. He moaned softly, enjoying my mouth. His morning erection strained for me and Alfie, seemingly forgetting where he was, hitched my leg over his hip. He rolled onto me, planting himself firmly between my legs, and as he did my bed creaked loudly. We froze, our ears straining for signs we’d woken up Natalie or Ryan. I bit my lip, trying to stifle a laugh at the look on Alfie’s face. It was dawning on him that morning sex was out of the question in my house, and he wasn’t happy. He buried his face in the pillow and groaned.
“Guess we’re going to have to take a rain check on that.” I wrapped myself around him, pulling him close. I intended it to be comforting but he pulled away and rolled off me. He lay on his back, an arm flung over his face.
“Problem?”
“I should have taken you back to my hotel last night.”
Is he really going to sulk over not getting his morning lay?
He threw back the duvet and sat up, placing his feet on the floor. I admired the muscles of his back as he leaned forward and grabbed a fresh pair of boxers from the bag Elliot had brought for him. I sighed. I guess the day had started now. I sat up in bed, trying to wake myself up a little. Alfie sat again to pull on his socks, the bed frame groaning as it took his weight. I’d found it amusing before. Now it was embarrassing.
He stood. There was a dress bag, also courtesy of Elliot, hanging from my jacket hooks, and he unzipped it, pulling out a fresh white shirt. He dressed in silence, leaving me to wonder about his cold mood. I put it down to him being out of his element in my world but that didn’t make me any happier.
He fastened the shirt and I watched as he crossed to my wardrobe. After a moment he produced a peach coloured sundress that I’d always hated but had never gotten around to throwing out.
“Wear this today.” He tossed it to me. I caught it, threw it back at him, and got out of bed.
“No thanks,” I replied lightly, opening one of my drawers. “I’m wearing jeans today.” I pulled out a pair of jeans but Alfie merely let out a small chuckle, took the jeans from me, and replaced them with the dress.
“You’re wearing this today.” He returned to the dry cleaner bag, pulling out a pair of dark grey suit trousers. I just stood there, frozen and naked. Sometimes, Alfie Tell made me so mad it just stole the words right out of me.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” he asked over his shoulder as he reached for a matching tie.
“Control me.” I tried to reign my temper in. My voice was starting to rise and I didn’t want to wake up Natalie and Ryan.
“Habit…and to remind you that I can.” He pulled on his matching waistcoat.
“Well, can you cut it out? I hate it.” This bullshit was the reason I’d broken things off in the first place. I dropped the dress and folded my arms over my bare chest, hiding my vulnerability from him. Of course he picked up on that in an instant. He turned to me, towering over me in my small room.
“Move your arms.” I shook my head. He sighed lightly and placed his hands on my wrists. He didn’t force me, merely applied enough pressure for me to feel his dominance. As usual, my body betrayed me and my arms dropped to my sides. His eyes roamed over my breasts but he didn’t touch them. I felt so small in front of him, he in his business suit, me in my birthday suit. It felt like a metaphor for so much more than just this moment.
“Do you really hate how I control you, Lola?” he asked smoothly, his steel grey eyes piercing my own. “Or do you just hate that your body responds to me so much that you can’t help but do what I say?” His voice was dark and potent, full of everything he wanted to do to me. If we were at The Carlton, he’d have me bent over and screaming his name by now.
“But why control me now? What did I do?”
“Why not now? Seeing you in that dress would please me. It’s as simple as that.” Was it as simple as that? I knew how good Alfie could be, and it was easy to forget what he was alongside that—spoiled and selfish. But maybe it was more. Over the weeks I was beginning to see a pattern with Alfie. His vulnerable moments were often followed up with cold ones. I wasn’t sure whether he was punishing me for making him happy or himself for allowing it.
My brain hurt from trying to figure him out.
He stepped away, releasing me from our bubble. I watched him as he sat on the bed to fasten his shoes.
“I don’t like this, Alfie,” I mumbled, not knowing what else to say. Once again, the bastard just shrugged.
“I don’t care.” He stood and reached for his jacket before turning his gaze back on me, pinning me to the spot. I stood there, naked and slightly nervous under his intense scrutiny.
“This is what I am, Lola. Get used to it.” He shrugged his jacket on and turned to the stairs, leaving me alone in my room. My chest cracked at his callousness. Why was he doing this? I rested my head in my hands, hating his latest mind fuck. I felt like Alfie pulled me in, kissed me, then slapped me and pushed me away, only to pull me back a moment later. I hated being out of his arms, out of his light. My skin felt cold. I sat on my bed, holding the stupid dress.
I will not cry. I will not cry…