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“I think you like fighting with me more,” I said, still stepping backwards, the stairs on my left, the hallway on my right. Two running options, there if I needed them.
“It’s definitely stimulating.” A corner of his delicious mouth lifted up in a smile and those steel greys raked over my body in a way that made me shiver.
“Maybe I don’t want to stimulate you.”
“Liar. Take off your dress.”
“No.” I took three further steps backwards and he raised an eyebrow at me. “You can’t just keep sidetracking me with sex every time we disagree. We were having an argument, we need to finish it.”
“What’s the point in having an argument when I could just make you say anything I want?” His hands moved to his tie and he removed it with a sharpthwap.
“Because you don’t want a puppet, Alfie, and you know it.” My words didn’t stop his advancement. I was running out ofbacking up space. I was going to have to pick a direction. Up the stairs or down the hall. “Alfie?—”
“Shut up.” In a heartbeat he had me, his hands wrapped around my neck, his mouth devouring mine. I fell into him, for one beat, two, and then I stomped on his foot as hard as I could. Before he could grab me again, I turned on my heel and sprinted down the hall.
I felt Alfie’s hand encircle my own but I snatched it away.
“Stop touching me!” I shouted, sounding less like myself than I ever had before. “I can’tthinkwhen you touch me!” And I needed to think. I needed to straighten my thoughts so he couldn’t fuck me into agreeing to anything else. If he couldn’t agree to give me time to think then maybe I would just have to use his own tactics against him. Agreement by force.
I ran down the hall and picked a room at random. The games room.
“Don’t you shut that—” I slammed the door in his face and locked it. I stared at it for a moment, wondering what the hell I’d just done.
“Lola, open the door,” he said, his voice low, feigning calm.
“No!” I shouted, sounding very much like a petulant child. “You don’t ever listen to me. Why can’t you just listen to me for once?”
“Lola, I need you to open the door.”
“Why? So that you can order me around some more? Manipulate me?” There was silence for a moment, then a loud bang as what I assumed was his fist connected with the door.
“Open the fucking door!” he shouted and continued his assault on the door.
He was gonna have a hell of a hotel bill if he broke it in. I giggled at the ridiculous notion of Alfie Tell worrying about something as silly as a hotel bill. I clamped a hand over my mouth. I felt like I was losing it.
My heart beat a heavy bassline in my chest. My hands trembled. I felt like I was having a panic attack.What the hell is wrong with me?I didn’t want to admit that I already knew the answer. I was anxious and frightened, not because I was scared of Alfie, but because I was separated from him. Out there I’d been angry, but exhilarated too. In here, with him on the other side of that door, I felt lost. Adrift.
I sank to the floor.
Was I out of my mind to consider leaving him if this was how I felt just being separated by a door?
No. My dream mattered too.
“Tell me you’ll give me time to think about it,” I yelled, not sure if he’d hear me over the noise of him trying to break the door down.
“Fine.” The banging stopped and I could almost picture him panting with exertion, his forehead resting against the door.
“I want a promise, Alfie. No more manipulation. You’ll let me decide on my own.” I wondered if he could hear the tremble in my voice.
“Open the door, baby.” He sounded as adrift as I was. I stood and grasped the door handle, ready to open it as soon as I had his word. This was a dirty way of getting it and I hated reducing myself to his level, but he’d given me no other choice. He’d made me this way.
“Promise me.”
There were a few moments of silence.
“I promise.”
I opened the door slowly and found his grey eyes glinting at me. My heart stopped. I’d just made a big mistake.