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“Sure, but I’m happy for her.” Our team scored, and I cheered with the other parents, laughing out loud at the sound of Ryan’s victory cry.
“So, how’s Alfie?”
“He’s fine, he has a meeting tonight.”
“Right. So, what’s the plan with you two?”
“What plan? Plan how?”
“Plan as in future, as in I’m assuming his business will be finished any day now. What’s the plan when he leaves?”
What was it with everyone wanting to discuss Alfie today?
“We don’t really have one.”
“Well you’d better get one. A man like that, you’ll have a lot of competition.”
“I’m not a competitor, Natalie.” The idea of fighting over Alfie with a bunch of other women like a gaggle of squabbling hens put a bad taste in my mouth.
“You think you’re already holding the trophy?”
“I think this isn’t a game. He’ll either choose me over other women or he won’t.”
I felt Natalie’s watchful gaze, one eye on me, the other on her son. “That’s true. Still, I think you and he need to have a talk about what you’re going to do because honestly, I’ve seen you two together and long distance isn’t going to work. Maybe you should think about going with him when he—Ryan!” she yelled, her eyes blazing at her son, who currently had the other team’s goalie in a headlock. She marched off to deal with her child and I stood there, chewing on my lip, gnawing on her words.
Leave with him? I couldn’t just leave with him…could I? No, of course not. Besides, he hadn’t even asked me.
I tried to imagine ingratiating myself into Alfie’s life and the thought stiffened my spine. I had too many dreams to simply be someone’s travel companion. I wanted to be a world renowned garden designer. I wanted to win awards. Have my own studio maybe. Compete in the Chelsea Flower Show like my mum had always dreamed of.
But what if those dreams were foolish? What if I was just reaching for something I would never be good enough for? The London College had already rejected me several times. Maybe being with Alfie was what I was supposed to do with my life.
Natalie returned to my side a few minutes later, and Ryan looked somewhat subdued but I doubted that would last long. I shrugged off my deep thoughts and half an hour later, the game was won and Ryan was the proud recipient of a medal and an evil look from just about every parent from the opposite team.
We walked through the park with the other families, making our way to our cars, enjoying the peaceful evening. I was happy here, watching Ryan pretend to be an aeroplane, listening to Natalie talk about her day at work. I couldn’t leave them behind, I just couldn’t.
“Oh, holy Jesus, is that your fella over there?” Natalie had stopped dead in her tracks. I followed her gaze and found Alfie Tell, leaning casually against his Aston Martin and drawing a hell of a crowd.
“What’s he doing here?”
I smiled, my heart about to burst with emotion. “Keeping a promise.”
He could be anywhere in the world right now, enjoying the highest luxury, being entertained by the most beautiful women. Instead, he was here, in my small town, keeping a promise he’d made to an eight-year-old.
“Ryan!” I called. “Your noble steed is here.”
Thirty-Six
It felt peculiar to wake up with Alfie Tell asleep in my lumpy bed, in my attic bedroom that didn’t even have a door.
I turned to face him, the old frame creaking as I moved. He was fast asleep and I took advantage of the opportunity to study him. It was early. The day hadn’t started yet and the rising sun cast an orange hue across the room. The gentle tweeting of small birds littered the air. Yet, I didn’t feel peaceful.
Ryan had been ecstatic when Alfie had surprised him. When we’d gotten home, he’d driven Ryan around the block in his ‘fancy car’ until Natalie called Ryan in for his bath.
Ryan had insisted on Alfie staying over and Alfie had accepted the offer whilst I watched on, nervous. I’d wanted to spend the night with him, just nothere.There was something about him being in my home that just didn’t feel right. He didn’t fit in here, that was plain for everyone to see. I wondered if he felt that way when I was at his place? Probably.
When we were at The Carlton, we could kid ourselves into thinking there was nothing keeping us apart. Alfie liked my family fine, but my home? My world? I wasn’t sure he liked that so much. He judged my poor thread count sheets, my mismatched, worn furniture. ‘One bathroom between three ofyou, how do you live like that?’He’d had to shower last night and it hadn’t gone well. Shitty water pressure was a new concept for Alfie and he hadn’t taken to it.
I gazed at him as he slept. His brow was stern even in sleep, as if his dreams troubled him. What was that secret he carried around with him? He looked, sometimes, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. The more I got to know him, the more it seemed as if his outside didn’t match his inside.