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I laughed at him, not even bothering to respond. He was getting this all wrong. As if he’d read my mind, he cocked his head and I could practically see him recalculating his strategy.
“Lola, please spend the evening with me. I have to go to London this weekend, so I won’t be able to see you again until next week.” That was his new plan? Blunt orders hadn’t worked, so now he was trying sweetness? Perhaps seduction would be his next strategy.
“No, Alfie.”
His mouth thinned with frustration. “I can make you say yes.” Yep, there we go. Seduction.
I snorted and crossed my arms. “You can try.” His grin widened at the obvious opening I’d just given him.Shit.Before he could get his hands on me, I slid by him and made for the doorway to put some space between us but he gripped my elbow and tugged me back in front of him.
“No running, O’Connell.” I felt small as he towered over me. “I hate it when you run from me. It feels like you’re taking my breath with you.” His words stole my own breath away. He sounded so tired, so tortured. He rested his forehead against my own and the mood shifted once again between us. From frustration to something else. His hands encircled my waist, holding me to him as he pressed his erection into me. Why did this part of us have to work so perfectly? It would make rational thinking so much easier if I didn’t want him so badly.
“Keira will be here soon,” I whispered, hoping that it would put a stop to whatever indecent plans he had for me.
“Then she can watch,” he husked as he leaned in closer. I turned my head, my hands pressing against his chest with all the strength I had.
“Alfie, I don’t want to.”
“I don’t like liars, O’Connell.” He traced his fingers down my neck in a line from my ear before stopping and pressing two fingers against the sensitive skin just below my jawline.
“What’re you doing?”
“Your pulse is elevated and your pupils are dilated. You see, Lola, it doesn’t matter what lies you tell me, your body will always tell me the truth.”
I remained calm, forcing myself to remember why giving in to Alfie Tell was a terrible idea. He had the power to hurt me and that knowledge alone was all that forced the words to pass my teeth. “Just because my body responds to you doesn’t mean that my heart does.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
His eyes narrowed, as if taking me seriously for the first time. “Then tell me you don’t want me. You say the word and I’ll go.”
The thought was agonising and yet seemed like the safer option. Looking into his eyes, I felt myself being sucked in, pulled into Alfie Tell’s whirlpool, a place where I had no control, where he could release me at any time and leave me to drown. I looked him squarely in the eye.
“I don’t want you.”
Something flickered in his face, a glint in his eye, a tick in his jaw. There was a moment, a sliver of a second where I didn’t know whether he was going to tear my clothes off or tear my home apart. He stared down at me, the fierce intensity suspending us in time.
“Hello?” A voice called from the hallway and I jerked in shock.Keira.I heard her footsteps getting closer. I tried to shove Alfie away but he grabbed my jaw, his fingertips digging in and forcing me to look at him.
“Liar.” He shoved himself away from me and stalked out of the kitchen, leaving me breathless and gasping. I heard Keira’s surprised squeal, the slam of my front door, and a moment later she appeared in the doorway.
“You okay?” she asked, her warm brown eyes rich with concern. I felt like I’d just had the air kicked out of me but Ibreathed and tried to smile like I was just fine. She didn’t believe me but she let me pretend anyway.
I loved her for that.
Seventeen
The following week passed by without a whisper from Alfie Tell. On Monday I was tense, waiting for a text, a call, something to let me know the chase was still on. But nothing.
Instead of sitting around and wallowing, I buried myself in work. I got out my sketch book and started designing the Harrington garden. Alfie hadn’t told me he was taking it away from me but perhaps it was bold to assume it was still mine. I tried out a dozen plot ideas before discarding all of them. None of them were right. Or maybe it was me that wasn’t right. I was restless, irritable.
I focused instead on my design plans thatwereright. My plans for the garden at Bramley Primary, Ryan’s school. I’d worked hard on them all winter, itching to get started and now coming into spring, it was finally time to make them a reality. I ran through the final list of supplies one more time to make sure I hadn’t left anything out and confirmed I’d been able to stay within budget. With Rosie offering to provide the majority of what I needed at a substantial discount, I’d just been able to manage. I emailed Mrs Reed to reassure her that everything was on track and I’d be starting work next week.
Next week felt like such a long way away when I couldn’t get Alfie Tell out of my head.
When I wasn’t working, I poured myself into my memory garden. I pulled weeds, pruned roses and planted fresh coriander and basil that had been germinating on the kitchen windowsill for the last month. As long as my hands were in the dirt, I was distracted, but the second I was back in the real world, Alfie Tell polluted my thoughts once more.
By Friday, I was burning. I checked my phone a thousand times, typed a hundred texts I never sent, each with varying degrees of sentiments.I want you…I don’t want you…Go away…Come back…It was over, he was done with me and I didn’t understand why it bothered me so much. It shouldn’t and yet he haunted me, the way he’d made mefeelhaunted me.