Page 96 of The Havenport Collection

Astrid

I started to briefly hyperventilate when I walked through security up to the elevator banks. I wasn’t officially back yet. I was here to meet with HR and discuss my return to work.

Still, I was dressed in one of my trusty black suits, which was feeling a bit snug.

I had definitely packed on some muscle from all the Krav Maga and eating I had done in Havenport.

I’d enjoy my strength while it lasted, since I’m sure I’d be back to skipping meals and pulling all-nighters in no time.

I got on the elevator with a litigation partner I recognized.

She was typing furiously on her iPhone and didn’t even look up when I walked in.

I pressed the button and stood in the back, observing her hunched posture and flying fingers.

There was a time I felt compelled to check my phone every minute of the day.

Now it was in my purse, and my fingers didn’t itch to email anymore.

It was a weird sensation, but a welcome one.

The HR meeting took a few hours. They had a lot of questions about Max Shapiro and my work for him on the failed merger. Several people, including John Waterson, came in to say hello and welcome me back. Just being back in this building was making me twitchy.

“Can you excuse me? I need to use the ladies’ room,” I asked brightly, desperate to get out of the room.

After vomiting in the bathroom, I decided to call it a day and head home.

I was supposed to give HR my return date by the end of the week, but I didn’t think I could do it.

Being in the building made me physically ill.

I saw all the associates peering out their office doors to get a look at me, the disgraced former associate who got welcomed back after being assaulted by a partner.

I didn’t want their whispers, and I didn’t want their pity.

All I wanted was to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I couldn’t go back. I knew it in my bones.

But saying goodbye to a huge part of my life was daunting.

This was all I had ever known. But I couldn’t deny how much better I felt physically and emotionally since leaving that high-rise.

I couldn’t deny that I had expanded my horizons and learned more about myself.

I couldn’t deny that I had fallen in love.

I had spent decades doing exactly what I was supposed to, being the perfect daughter, student, employee.

But it was time to start being myself. I convinced myself I was quiet and subdued, cool and calm at all times—but that was just an act.

I had finally begun to let my rage out and it felt good.

I liked bright clothes and loud music and delicious food.

I was passionate and emotional. Not some ice queen who never got upset, no matter how poorly she was treated.

But those days were over. I was a new person, and I couldn’t go back to my old life. Just like my suits, it didn’t really fit anymore. I could still force it on myself, but it wasn’t right and I knew it.

“Open up, Astrid. We know you’re in there.” The familiar voice roused me off my couch.

It was nine a.m. on a Monday morning. What was Nora doing here?

I padded over to the door of my apartment and looked out my peep hole. I saw Nora and Emily. How did they find me?

I opened the door and Nora barged in.

“Thanks a lot for not responding to our texts!”

Emily was right behind her, holding Jacob, and Maggie and Cece were in the rear holding grocery bags.

“What is happening?” I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“You didn’t show up to Monday breakfast last week. So we are bringing Monday breakfast to you. We never leave a coven member behind,” Nora explained slowly.

Emily gave me a half hug. “And Jacob has an ear infection so he couldn’t go to preschool today. But don’t worry. I brought an iPad.” At the mention of his favorite electronic, Jacob lifted his head off his mom’s shoulder. “iPad?” She handed him her massive purse and told him to sit down.

“You guys didn’t have to come all the way out here,” I insisted.

Maggie walked slowly around my apartment. “Judging by the condition of this place, I think we did,” she said kindly.

Emily gave me a pitying look. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think my kids had been here.” Her eyes traveled from the pile of dirty dishes and take-out containers in the sink to the laundry strewn all over the place.

I’ll admit, my apartment was not in the best condition. But to be fair, I barely lived here and I was going through some things right now.

“I thought there was no judgment at Monday breakfast?” I snapped back.

Nora threw an arm around my shoulder. “Of course not, babe. We’re not judging. We’ve all had our moments. But we’re here now. And we’ve got your back.”

It warmed my heart to know these women drove over an hour in rush hour traffic to see me, even if I was a tad bit embarrassed at my current state.

Cece was unpacking groceries. “Nora, you’re leader. What are we doing first?”

“Cecelia darling, you know I prefer the term ‘high priestess’ but you’re right. Troops, first thing is we are getting this one in the shower. Cece, you’re on brunch duty. Emily, you are bartending. And Maggie, you are on cleanup.”

“Already on it,” Maggie shouted, her arms full of dirty laundry. Emily had told me she was a compulsive clean freak, but she hadn’t been here two minutes and she was already tidying up.

“You,” Nora said, gesturing to me. “When was the last time you showered?”

I shrugged. It was Monday, so maybe Friday? But I wasn’t sure. The last week had been a total blur. Rather than admit that out loud, I decided to just head straight to the bathroom.

I turned on the harsh fluorescent lights and stared at myself in the mirror.

I looked terrible. My skin was sallow, and I had dark circles under my eyes.

My hair was limp and greasy and I had the beginnings of a massive breakout on my jawline.

It had been eight days since I last saw Declan, and I was suffering.

I missed him. I missed Ginger. I missed my little cottage.

I hated this apartment. I hated this city. I hated everything.

I took a long, scalding hot shower, washing my hair twice for good measure and shaving my legs. I walked into my bedroom to find a new outfit spread on my bed, clearly courtesy of Nora. I pulled on the buttery soft joggers and T-shirt and padded out to the living room.

Jacob was curled up on my couch wearing headphones and watching some neon-colored cartoon on his iPad.

Maggie had made significant cleaning progress and was now vacuuming, Emily was pouring mimosas into plastic champagne flutes she must have brought with her, and Cece was flipping golden slices of French toast on my stove.

I was overcome with affection for this group of wild, loyal women. They hadn’t known me long but embraced me as one of their own. They weren’t perfect and neither was I, but together, we were unstoppable. I got choked up.

“You okay, sweetie?” Nora asked, carrying a trash bag.

I nodded. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Like it or not, you are one of us, Elsa. So get used to it.”

I smiled at her.

“Now I have to get back to your closet.”

“What?”

“I’m cleaning it out for you. So much drab black and lots of sad undergarments.” She proceeded to head back into my room with the half full trash bag. I didn’t even want to ask.

As nice as it was to have the coven show up for me in my time of need, we were definitely squeezed in my tiny apartment. Cece had outdone herself cooking brunch, and we all took seats on the couch and on the floor surrounding the oversized coffee table.

Cece made me a plate piled high with French toast and crispy bacon. “I think this might be the first meal ever cooked from scratch in this apartment,” I told her appreciatively.

She patted my head. “Speaking of this apartment. Do you moonlight as a serial killer? This place is creepy as fuck.”

“Is there a secret room with a wall covered in photos and bits of string?” Emily added.

I laughed for the first time in weeks. “Stop, guys. I’ll admit it’s a bit…sterile.”

“You barely have furniture,” Nora said, gesturing around the room with her slice of bacon.

“I cleaned out your fridge,” Maggie said solemnly. “Scary.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” I said.

“Yes, I did. It was for the best.” She shook her head and downed her mimosa.

After putting away an impressive amount of bacon and our second bottle of champagne, I worked up the courage to ask. “So I love you guys, and I appreciate all the help. But what are you doing here?”

“We are here to support you, to love you, and hopefully to drag you back to Havenport,” Emily said in her singsong voice.

I loved them. But they didn’t get it. “Guys, I can’t go back. I appreciate everything you’ve done and what you are trying to do. But I can’t ever go back after what happened with Declan.”

“Tell us what happened. We’ll be the judges,” Maggie said.

“He sent me away. Basically broke up with me and said it was for my own good.” I started to tear up.

Nora’s face was bright red. “Are you shitting me? He told you what was good for you? That is some mansplainy bullshit right there.”

She looked at Jacob. “Sorry,” she whispered to Emily.

“Don’t worry. Those are noise cancelling headphones. You can let it rip,” Emily replied.

Cece poured herself some more mimosa. “I don’t get it. He is clearly in love with you.”

“He’s not.” I scoffed. It hurt, but it was the truth.

“Yes he is. He def is. I have inside info,” she said.

“Oooh.” Nora shoved Cece. “Spill, girl.”

“Liam says he’s miserable. Totally miserable and can’t function. He and Callum staged an intervention, and he’s just moping around depressed about losing Astrid.”

That pissed me off. He didn’t get to mope around being sad. He pushed me away. “Then why did he tell me to come back here and go back to my law firm?”