Page 135 of The Havenport Collection

Callum

T his was a terrible idea. I don’t know why I agreed to this.

What was I thinking? My family? On a boat?

And add small children? Liam didn’t brew enough beer in a month to get me through the next few hours.

I reached into my pocket and felt the amethyst Violet had given me, running my fingertips across the jagged edges.

I found myself doing it all the time now.

It reminded me of her, which always helped me calm down.

I liked Violet a lot. She was lively and fun and silly but also smart and ambitious. She was proving to me that I was capable of having fun and living in the moment.

Last weekend we woke the boys up at midnight and drove out into the middle of the field in her dad’s old pickup truck. The four of us laid in the bed with blankets stargazing. I can’t remember the last time I just looked up at the night sky. It was so beautiful and peaceful.

I used an app on my phone to figure out what the constellations were, and the boys asked endless questions.

We laughed and decided to invent our own constellations.

Henry found several that resembled dinosaurs, and Sam is convinced he discovered the big and little tacos.

All bundled up together out there under the vast night sky, I felt better than I had in years.

We felt like a family. And it felt awesome.

Yes, being with Violet publicly had resulted in some scrutiny from the Havenport gossip mill, but I was learning not to care.

Instead of freaking out, Violet was beginning to enjoy hearing the rumors Yael brought home.

We would sit around the fire laughing about the stories that made their way around town.

I had laughed more in the last month than I had in the last year. And it was all thanks to her. She found me at my absolute worst and was bringing me back into the light. The old Callum was coming back, and I welcomed his return.

So it seemed like such a good idea when my parents insisted on inviting Violet and her kids to Sunday dinner.

It was my mother’s fault. She caught me at a weak moment.

I was high on hot barn sex and had spent the afternoon grilling hot dogs with the boys and kicking the ball around.

When I answered the phone, I should have known it was an ambush.

Now here we were, loading life jackets, coolers, and sweatshirts onto my dad’s twenty-foot vintage sailboat.

This boat was the love of his life after my mom.

He had spent over a decade restoring it.

Because I came from a long line of fishermen, it was only natural that we had our family “dinners” on the boat.

Havenport was nestled along the jagged Massachusetts coast which gave us many excellent destinations for a day out on the water.

It was still really warm for October, probably in the low seventies, a perfect day to take the boat out.

The boys were ecstatic and would not stop asking questions.

They had never been on a sailboat before, and I was secretly thrilled to be with them their first time.

I had grown up on the water and felt more comfortable on a boat than I did in a car.

The thought of sharing that with the next generation secretly thrilled me.

While loading our supplies, I stopped for a minute and envisioned me taking Vi and the boys fishing.

I could see us laughing and joking and coming home tired and tan from a day out on the ocean.

That happy family image just popped into my brain, and I liked it.

I didn’t have time to analyze what that meant.

I had to keep focused or the next few hours would be a shitshow.

Trent was the first to arrive, along with his current girlfriend.

She looked vaguely familiar—I think I had seen her around town.

I didn’t know much about her, but Trent dated a lot.

I got it, being lonely sucked, and he was such a fun, happy-go-lucky guy it wasn’t surprising that he had no trouble finding dates.

I still didn’t know who the mystery woman he mentioned was, but I was pretty sure this bubbly blonde wasn’t the one.

Of course, Trent went to great lengths to help. Carrying things from the car for my mother, unfurling the sails with my dad, and checking all the lines. He really was one of the good ones. I loved that he was here at Sunday dinner. He was a member of the family. I just hoped he realized it.

I helped Violet onto the boat, and she looked a bit queasy already. I’m not sure that boded well for our afternoon on the water. I nudged her. “You okay?”

She nodded while slathering the boys with sunblock. They could barely contain their excitement.

“Hey, Captain,” Sam shouted. “Can we go super-fast?”

My dad laughed. “It’s a sailboat, kid. We only go as fast as the wind can take us.”

“But isn’t that a motor?” Henry asked innocently, pointing to the gigantic outboard motor my dad had installed. This thing could haul ass if he wanted it to.

My dad shook his head, muttering something that sounded like “smart ass” under his breath.

He was in his element, checking his instruments and showing the boys how he plotted the course for our sail.

I had naively assumed my dad would spend his retirement on dry land after a life spent at sea.

I was wrong. He obsessed over his boat and spent as much time as my mother allowed sailing and maintaining it.

Liam and Cece arrived next, looking completely relaxed and carrying a cooler that I knew was filled with beer.

Only my youngest brother could be getting married in a few weeks and be completely calm about it.

I couldn’t imagine planning a quickie wedding—I would be a mess.

But Liam and Cece seemed to be enjoying it.

It certainly helped that Violet was crushing it, especially with her new assistant, Frankie, who was doing an amazing job.

The barn had been transformed, and the anticipation was building.

I had spent a lot of time crunching the numbers, and regular wedding business would be a game changer for Thompson Farm.

We just needed to get through the first one.

My mother checked her watch with faux annoyance. “I said eleven sharp!” she trilled at them.

Cece climbed aboard and gave my mother a kiss on the cheek.

“Annie, it was my fault. I couldn’t find my boat shoes.

” In my mother’s eyes, Cece was the saint who was marrying her baby boy.

It also helped that Cece was the daughter of my mom’s lifelong best friend.

Needless to say, all was forgiven immediately.

Ten minutes later, Declan and Astrid finally arrived, looking disheveled.

While usually unkempt, my brother looked particularly messy today.

They were both clearly sporting sex hair, and Astrid was wearing one of Declan's T-shirts knotted at the waist. Those two could not keep their hands off each other.

While this usually annoyed me, I found myself amused by it today.

I stole a glimpse at Violet who raised her eyebrows at me.

Clearly, we were thinking the same thing.

Ginger was the first to climb aboard and then immediately curl up at her place in the stern, ignoring everyone. Declan helped Astrid aboard and nodded at me, Liam, and Trent. Sam immediately jumped up and ran over to him.

“Hey, little dude.” Declan gave Sam a high five.

Sam was in heaven. Violet told me he had refused a haircut recently, and she was pretty sure it was Declan’s influence.

I’d have to keep an eye on him. If I let him spend too much time with my brother, pretty soon he would be sporting a man bun and grunting instead of speaking.

But I was so happy that my family had embraced Violet and the boys.

Having all the people I cared about together was a novel feeling.

We motored out of the harbor to the mouth of the river and into the ocean.

Declan and my dad argued about proper rigging as we helped him with the sails.

Soon enough, the Captain was showing off for the boys, doing some maneuvers with the sails and picking up speed while the rest of us sipped drinks and chatted.

The boys bounced around, eating the donuts that Trent’s date had brought and asking my dad hundreds of questions.

The Captain was usually a gruff, quiet type, but he was positively glowing.

I got a flash of what he would be like as a grandfather, and my heart clenched.

He and my mom would be the over the top, obnoxiously loving grandparents.

I could see them front row at preschool graduations and holiday concerts.

Hopefully, Liam and Declan would give him grandkids. Hell, Trent probably would too.

The combination of the cool breeze, the intense sunlight, and the beer had me feeling more relaxed than I had in weeks. Everyone was having a great time, and my mother was too busy obsessing about Liam and Cece’s wedding to interrogate Violet and me about our relationship.

Violet, however, had looked better.

I slid next to her and put my arm around her. “Are you feeling okay?” I asked, as she curled her body into mine. It felt like heaven.

She looked up at me with those big brown eyes. “I’m seasick,” she whispered.

I nodded. “Okay. Why didn’t you tell me?”

She looked around. “Because I’m pretty sure that is a sign of weakness in your family. I want to make a good impression.”

I hugged her tighter, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her shampoo. It meant too much to me that she wanted to impress my family. “It’s fine. I wish you had told me. But we’ll figure something out. There is a bathroom below deck. Let me know if you need to throw up.”

She nodded, slowly sipping water and smiling at my mother, who was holding court like a queen.

“So, Astrid, do you want a big wedding like Liam and Cecelia or something smaller?” my mom asked, innocently sipping her white wine. She was the picture of composure in her nautical wear and pleasant smile. No wonder Annie Quinn felt so comfortable on the ocean—she was a goddamn shark.

Astrid, who was generally unflappable, looked vaguely nauseated.

“Mom,” Declan growled. “Leave Astrid alone. Don’t pull her into your wedding mania.”

“I’m just saying, we’re already planning one wedding, what’s one more?” she asked, lifting her glass to Cece and Liam.

Astrid shifted uncomfortably and excused herself to get another beer.

Declan rolled his eyes and followed her.

I busied myself grabbing snacks for the boys so I wouldn’t be next. My mother was relentless in her pursuit of grandchildren. The last thing I needed was to get an earful in front of Violet and the boys.

Thankfully, Trent read the situation and came to the rescue. “Cal, Violet, have you met Lila?” he said, gesturing to the woman beside him. She looked like she was in her late twenties and had a friendly smile.

“No.” I shook her hand. “You look familiar.”

“You’ve come into my shop a few times,” she said.

I gave her a blank look.

“Decadent Donuts?”

“Oh, yes!”

“You’ve bought a lot of donuts. Have you enjoyed them?” she asked innocently.

“Well…I bought them for my…girlfriend and her kids.” The word girlfriend got caught in my throat. What was wrong with me? I gestured to where Violet was sitting with the boys.

She clapped her hands. “That is so cute.”

We chatted for a few minutes about the donut business before I excused myself to check on Violet.

“What do you think?” I asked Violet, my arms wrapped around her as we stood at the bow.

“This is magnificent. Even sick to my stomach, I can’t believe this. This boat, this weather, these people? What a beautiful day.” She turned around and kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you for inviting us.”

I blushed slightly, tightening my hold on her.

She was so joyful and grateful. The total opposite of my ex-wife.

You could make her really happy. I shook my head, attempting to banish the silly thoughts.

But I couldn’t shake them. Visions of me and Violet and the boys having fun on the water.

Sailing up to Maine or New Hampshire for lobsters, teaching them to fish and how to drive the boat when they got older.

I saw it. I saw the happy family life in front of me, and I wanted to grab on to it with both hands and never let go.

But it wasn’t mine. And it couldn’t be mine.

Because I was broken. They deserved so much better than me.

Becca was right—I was a terrible husband and would probably be a terrible father.

As much as I wanted forever with Violet, it probably wasn’t possible.

But a small part of me loved that it might be, that things could be different, be better.

That I could be better. And I held on to the small part for dear life, because I could not bear to lose her.