Page 105 of The Havenport Collection

My heart sank. I didn’t know how to tell her that the numbers didn’t reflect the atmosphere of the farm. That no matter how many people came to pick apples, we were still facing some significant debts.

The poor woman was battling breast cancer. The last thing I should do was make her worry more. “I know, Mom. But I just want to do a good job—for Dad.”

“Sweetie. Your dad did things so differently than his father did. And you will do things differently too. Give yourself some time to find your footing.” She cupped my cheek and smiled at me, and I buried the anxiety rising up my throat.

“Thanks, Mom.”

I headed down to the main prep area, said hello to Bob and the other staff, and got to work.

I was bagging salad greens once they went through the wash and dry cycles.

Country music was cranking, and the barn was thankfully cooler than the hot sun.

I found myself singing along, and my mind wandered while I packed the greens in our biodegradable bags, tied them off with ribbon, and then slapped the Thompson Farm sticker on the outside.

I started to think about Callum Quinn. I wish I could say it had been years since I had thought of him.

But I was not that mature or self-possessed.

The fact was, the minute I moved back to Havenport a year ago, I became obsessed with avoiding him.

I had enough on my plate that I didn’t want to add my high school humiliation to the menu.

I had no reason to think he wasn’t a fine, upstanding member of society, especially since my older sister was friendly with him, but I wasn’t going to poke that emotional bear. I had been through enough.

Besides, being a mom and working and getting my shit together took up the majority of my time.

I was working on the farm, making business plans, and trying to help my kids adjust to a cross-country move.

And my mom’s health had been declining, so I was busy driving her to doctor’s appointments and physical therapy.

But I couldn't help but smile. Callum Quinn was always untouchable. The painfully handsome, startlingly intelligent alpha male of Havenport. His family went back several generations here, and everyone knew them and loved them. He was a legend in this town.

So naturally, I assumed that when I did randomly run into him, I would be in full “hot mess” mode, which was how I operated a solid eighty percent of the time, and he would shake his head and take pity on what a disaster I had become.

Instead, I stood there, wearing my cutest sundress with my hair behaving, while he was slumped on my grass in a pool of vomit.

Initially, I was concerned for his health, but then he admitted to being hungover, and it became almost funny.

The untouchable Callum Quinn. The soccer star, the Ivy League graduate, fertilizing my grass with last night’s whiskey.

Later tonight, after I put my kids to bed, Rose, Yael, and I would have a glass of wine, and I would let myself laugh.

Callum Quinn was the least of my worries.

Seeing him now, I hated myself for what a coward I had been.

There was nothing to fear. Those high school hurts were long gone.

I had new, adult hurts that occupied me now.

I methodically worked my way through the trays, bagging and lining everything up neatly on the pallets while singing and dancing along to Kenny Chesney when the alarm on my phone went off.

“Shit.” I finished up and asked Bob to take over.

“Sorry, guys,” I said. “I have to go pick up the boys at camp.”

The boys would be starting Kindergarten in a few weeks, and hopefully that would buy me some more time to work through the farm finances.

Things were a mess. Which was strange, as my parents always ran a tight ship.

I had spent the last year reorienting myself to farm life, helping my mom deal with her recent diagnosis, and trying to create a sense of normalcy and stability for my kids.

But I was ready. I had lots of fresh ideas and was ready to tackle things.

If I could just find enough hours in the day.

I was still reeling from my meeting with Nick.

I hated confrontation, but I had reached my limit with Nick.

My sister, Rose, had been using a different accountant for her stables for a while, and I needed to get her name.

I knew if I could just get some good advice and a few extra hours in the day, I could wrap my mind around everything and make a plan.

But Nick had poked at an open wound. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t stupid. But after everything with my ex-husband, I was feeling particularly vulnerable.

I had never been that woman. The ass-kicking, organized, alpha bitch.

It wasn’t who I was. I was a sunny optimist who was always too quick to trust people.

I was a leap first, think later type of gal.

And it had gotten me into nothing but trouble.

I was turning over a new leaf. I was a new woman—responsible, jaded, and hard as nails.

Deep down I was kidding myself, but I owed it to my kids to at least try. It was bad enough their dad was a lying, cheating thief; they couldn’t have a total flake for a mom too.

Sebastian and I separated after he was indicted. Since all our assets had been seized, I needed my parents’ help to file for divorce and get custody of my kids. Once that was finalized, I got my kids back east as fast as my old Volvo could carry us.

But that nagging voice in my head kept asking how I didn’t know.

Sebastian had been building his company for years.

I had attended events and conferences with him, playing the dutiful Silicon Valley wife.

But then I got pregnant with the twins. And all of a sudden, I was on bed rest for months while he was away from the house more and more.

Then after an emergency C-section, I was housebound with two screaming infants with no family, no husband, and no friends for support.

Every time I sobbed and begged for help, Sebastian and I grew further apart, and he spent less and less time at home.

I now knew he was fucking his side pieces all over the Bay Area, but at the time, I really thought I was pushing him away with my neediness. I was such a dumbass.

I shook my head. I had to stop dwelling on the past. I turned up Jenny Lewis on my speakers, put a smile on my face, and headed off to pick up the kids.

I was one of the lucky ones. I was given a fresh start in my hometown, surrounded by the people I loved most in this world. I wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.