Page 46 of The Havenport Collection

Liam

I t was Monday night, and apparently my brothers were coming to drink at the brewery tonight rather than waiting until our usual Tuesday night.

Instead of looking forward to seeing them, I was dreading it.

I am sure the news of Cece and I breaking up had already spread all over town, and I didn’t want to deal with any of it.

I felt like shit. I was shit. I was the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

At least I can be honest with myself about that. At least my dumbass stupid ego can admit when I’ve really fucked up. That is personal growth, right?

Trent came in and interrupted my inner monologue. “You look terrible, bro.”

God, Trent was such a good friend. He was yet another person I didn’t deserve. He was being kind too. I looked like shit. I hadn’t showered since Thursday and had basically been drinking my face off and sleeping in my office.

I couldn’t help that I had no motivation to do anything but wallow.

If I went home and slept in my bed, I’d be tortured by memories of Cece in that bed with me.

And then I would probably do something stupid like punch a wall and break my hand.

This was far smarter and far safer. I will just sleep here and keep drinking beer until it stops hurting.

I feel like I’ll probably be fine in, like, two to three years.

I didn’t even get a chance to respond to Trent before two large goons descended on me.

“You are a fucking moron.” Declan slammed the bar for emphasis. He was wearing a ripped hoodie and his hair was down past his chin.

“Mom is going to disown you.” Callum, although dressed in a suit and carrying an expensive leather messenger bag, was just as pissed as Declan.

I snapped back at them. I was not in the mood for my big brothers to gang up on me. “I was never her favorite son anyway. So it’s not like I can fall further.”

Callum rolled his eyes at me. “Yeah. But you were a solid number two. She can barely tolerate Declan.”

Declan shoved Callum. “Hey, I’m standing right here. And Mom made me pumpkin bread last week, so shut the fuck up.”

Both Callum’s and my head snapped around to stare at him. My mother was an incredible baker but rarely felt motivated to utilize her talents. She only gave us baked goods when she was really happy with us for some reason. “Wait, what? She made you pumpkin bread?”

Declan smiled. “Yup, with chocolate chips, assholes.”

“Shit. I didn’t get any.”

“Maybe she doesn’t love you anymore, Cal,” I offered.

“Yup. It’s cause you are losing your looks.” Declan always went for the jugular.

Callum looked like he was going to throw up. “Shut up, assholes.”

“She made me pumpkin bread too.” All three of us turned to look at Trent, who was loading glassware onto the shelves behind the bar.

“What?”

“Yup. I went to visit her and see how the Captain was doing and ended up changing the bulbs in the recessed lights. She made me tea and we chatted.”

Callum threw his hands up. “So Trent is a better son than we are. Fucking great.”

That was probably an accurate statement. I wasn’t sure anyone loved my mom like Trent did. I had no problem sharing her. But special pumpkin bread was another matter entirely.

I could tell Trent regretted telling us that information. “Guys. We need to refocus. Your brother is a moron who screwed up the best thing in his life and is now suffering. We need to help him.”

“Well, he deserves to suffer for being such a dumbass,” Callum lobbed in.

Declan nodded and looked at me. “We told you to marry her.”

Jesus, would they ever get off my case? “And I was going to, asshole!”

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my, admittedly, very dirty hair. “But then Dad had a heart attack and she got scared, and I got scared. And she got a job interview and I just freaked out. I blew up at her and fucked things up so badly she will probably never speak to me again.”

At least they were listening. Declan walked behind the bar and started quietly pouring beers. I’m glad he understood the gravity of the situation.

Once all four of us had a full beer, we were ready to focus. Callum tried to be kind. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, it’s that bad,” I said, taking another sip of beer.

“How can we fix it?” Declan was a fixer, but this wasn’t the engine of a boat or an end table.

“We can’t.”

“We’re Quinns. Of course we can fix it.”

Callum put his arm around my shoulders. “The Captain has fucked up so many times. We could ask him how he gets Mom to forgive him.”

“I don’t know if I want to know the answer to that.”

He shuddered. “Probably not.”

I looked at the three of them, so clueless about women. “Guys. This is not a flowers and chocolates type of situation. She is literally going to leave town, get another fancy corporate job, and probably marry some boring-ass lawyer.”

They stared at me blankly. “And not only have I lost the love of my life, I’ve lost an incredible partner who made my business better. Hell, she made me better.”

“She definitely did. She made you way more tolerable.”

“Agreed. Just her presence made you seem less like a dumbass.”

Trent looked annoyed. “Stay focused.” He was such a good friend.

My brothers exchanged a look before Callum turned his attention back to me. “So do you want us to yell at you? Or do you just want us to sit with you while you get drunk and be sad?”

“I don’t know.”

“Cause we are sure as shit not talking about your feelings.” Declan finished his beer.

“Nope. No fucking way,” Callum chimed in.

I smiled. “You guys are the worst.”

“It’s interesting that she’s single now…”

“Stop it, Callum!” I snapped at him. It was too soon for him to joke about stealing my girl.

“No, seriously, Mom is so hung up on her one of us should marry her. She is beautiful.”

“And smart.”

“And really fun to hang out with.”

“And she puts up with Liam’s shit so any one of us would be a walk in the park by comparison.”

“Agreed!” All three of them clinked their glasses and I saw red.

“I hate you all right now.”

Declan mussed my hair. “We love you too, little brother.”

“Actually, while I have you all here, there is something else I need to talk to you about. I’ve been thinking about the future of this business and I have an idea.”

Several beers and a couple of pizzas into this boys’ night, we were ready to make a plan.

“So how do I fix this?”

Everyone was quiet for a few moments.

“Don’t you think maybe you should just speak to her?”

“Jesus, Trent, no. He’s got to make a grand gesture.” Callum was insistent.

Trent was dubious. “But I know Cece, and she probably just wants him to be honest and open with his feelings.”

Declan rolled his eyes. “Who brought this guy? You have to sweep her off her feet.”

Trent ignored him and continued, “Liam, you and I have been friends since kindergarten. I have been by your side for every girl you have ever dated or even crushed on. We both know that Cece is different and that she is the one for you. I believe in you and I believe in her, and I believe that together you can build something beautiful together.”

Declan was impressed. “That is really fucking poetic.”

“I agree with Trent,” Callum mused. “But first, you have to get your head out of your ass and deal with whatever your problem is.”

He took a long sip of beer and pressed on. “So she applied for a job? What’s wrong with that? She is an accomplished woman with goals and dreams, so why shouldn’t she be out there interviewing? It has nothing to do with her feelings for you or your relationship.”

I stared at him. That wasn’t how I saw it.

When she told me about the interview, it felt like she was trying to run away from the brewery, from me, from us.

I panicked. I had spent weeks coming to the realization that I had fallen in love with her and then all of a sudden she was running off to some shiny new life.

“Yeah, man. And she didn’t interview in New York,” Trent reminded me.

Declan seemed confused. “So what’s the problem if she works in Boston? Fabio over here goes to Boston a few days a week,”—he gestured to Callum with his beer—“and we deliver to restaurants there every day. She’s not leaving you. It’s just a job and a crappy commute.”

Trent shook his head. “It sounds like she was trying to stay local for you. Wasn’t she supposed to go back to her apartment in New York soon? Now she is trying to rebuild her life nearby. Did you even consider that?”

Declan snorted. “And not only did you act like an ass, you literally gave her a great reason not to.”

Shit, they were right. I didn’t even ask. I was too chickenshit to share my feelings and see if we were on the same page. What if she was interested in this job so she could stay in Massachusetts and be with me? She was probably going to move back to New York now.

Was I pushing her away because I was afraid? Afraid that she didn’t want me as much as I wanted her?

“Talk to her. Tell her. Don’t be such a baby.”

I knew Callum was right, but it felt impossible. “I’m a man. And a Quinn. It’s so hard to talk about this stuff.”

He cut me off. “In a real relationship you have to. That’s what makes it last. It’s what makes it all worth it.” My normally calm brother seemed agitated and upset. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I knew we weren’t only talking about Cece right now.

As much as I hated to admit it, my brothers were right.

That fear, the fear that she would know how I feel and leave anyway, was crushing me.

I had to grow up, face my fears, and tell her everything.

I had to show her how much I loved her and wanted to be with her.

But I couldn’t talk to her, because she was ignoring all my texts and calls.

I even sent roses to her mom’s house and got no response.

I just wanted a chance to speak to her and tell her how I felt. I just needed a chance.

“You should call Nora.” Was Declan reading my mind?

“Why?” I asked. “She scares me.”

He nodded sagely. “She scares me too. But the word on the street is that Nora picked up drunk Cece at the Tipsy Whale this afternoon and then they were spotted at the diner together, crying and eating grilled cheese.”

Callum was incredulous. “How did you know that?”

“I know what’s up.”

“But you don’t speak to anyone or socialize.”

Declan shrugged. “I work with a bunch of gossipy guys who spend lonely days on boats. I hear things. I also heard Violet Thompson just got divorced and is living back on the family farm.” Declan gave Callum a pointed look.

Callum ignored him and pretended to be fascinated by his phone.

There was a story there, but despite all the sharing we were doing, I doubted I could drag it out of him.

While my brothers squabbled, I began to formulate a plan. I had to see Cece and talk to her. Tell her everything, lay my soul bare, and let her decide what she wanted. Because as badly as this hurt, not telling her would hurt so much more.

I wanted her. I wanted her forever. I wanted her in my brewery and in my home. I wanted to wake up next to her, drowning in that wild hair for the rest of my life. I wanted to build a business and a home and a family with her.

I wanted more. I wanted everything. I could see it—holidays and birthdays and warm nights snuggled up in front of the fireplace. Teaching our kids to sail and then disappearing below deck to make out like teenagers. I wanted it all.

But I had fucked up. I had pushed her away when she was at her most vulnerable. I knew she was tough, so how was I going to convince her to give me a second chance?