Page 73 of The Havenport Collection

Declan

I t was Sunday morning. And instead of sleeping in or catching up on work, I was running with Callum. He had called me this morning and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I got dressed, jumped in my truck, and met him at our favorite spot on the pier.

“Is Liam coming?” I asked.

“Nope. Told me to fuck off. That Sunday mornings are for his lady.”

I shook my head. “Bastard.”

“I’m a little jealous though,” he mused.

I kind of agreed but would never say it out loud.

Liam had found his soulmate, and although I was definitely not looking for one, it did seem nice.

Sunday morning spent snuggling, drinking coffee, and having sex sounded pretty amazing.

Especially as I was standing on a pier in the middle of January freezing my balls off with my older brother.

Cal was engaging in some elaborate looking stretches.

“Are you training for a marathon or something?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Then what’s with the fitness obsession?”

“What’s wrong with taking care of my body? I say we go eight or nine today.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his tell. And I wanted to dig further.

“Miles?” Ugh. I hated running. I did it because I wanted to stay fit and my dad’s heart attack scared the shit out of me, but I tapped out at three or four most days.

“Come on, let’s get going,” he barked impatiently.

We ran through town up Water Street to the boatyards and commercial docks.

We set an easy pace, and the town was so peaceful this early in the morning that it seemed like a good time to figure out what was going on with Callum.

After a few miles we looped back around the hill toward downtown.

I was already dreaming about a breakfast sandwich from the diner.

Maybe two, given how brutal this run had been.

“So what’s going on with you? You’re dating Astrid?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yup.” The less I said the better. My brother knew me better than anyone on earth and just happened to be super brilliant. The odds were good he could sniff this one out if I slipped up.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Nope.”

“It’s just a surprise. You aren’t the relationship type. At least you haven’t been in a while.”

“I know that. But I like her. I’m a thirty-five-year-old man. I am smart enough to know what to do when I like a woman.”

“I know you are.”

“Good.”

“How about we go up by the hospital and then back downtown? It’s only another mile or so. I’ll buy you coffee?”

“Sure. But you are buying me eggs too.”

“Deal.”

It wasn’t so bad. The town was so quiet and peaceful at this hour.

We had looped up past the hospital all the way toward the highway and turned around.

We ran by the old Thompson Farm and through the more rural side of town and then back downtown, where things were starting to wake up.

Running was a lot more fun with someone else.

Callum looked tired and in a better mood, so I knew it was time to strike.

“So,” I asked, “are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

He feigned surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t bullshit me, Cal. I know something is up with you and you are not alright. You are running yourself into the ground, literally, and haven’t been yourself for weeks.” I raised my eyebrows at him and sat silently waiting for him to answer.

He stared at me blankly, stretching his quad while holding on to the park bench. An outdoor yoga class was getting started on the pier, and there was a lot of chatter.

I took a step closer. “You are my brother and my best friend. We have always shared everything with each other. Also you have stubble. You hate my beard and constantly give me shit about it. If you are not shaving then something is up. You know I am a vault, man. I just want to help. ”

Callum looked at me and let out a sigh. “Fine. Let me finish stretching.”

After cooling down we sat on the bench in silence, looking out at the harbor. People were taking their small craft out, enjoying the warmer winter weather and the bright sunlight. I longed to be on the water. I spent most of my time in the office these days, and it was starting to get to me.

I gave him time. I didn’t want to rush him. And so we sat. Silence didn’t bother me. In fact, I reveled in it. It was nice hanging out with my big brother like this.

“Becca is engaged,” he blurted out, disrupting our meditative silence. Oh shit. Becca was Callum’s ex-wife. She was the love of his life who blindsided him by walking out one day and never coming back.

“What? Engaged?”

“Yup.” His gaze was steely and focused on the horizon. “That’s not even the worst part.”

“And…” How much worse could this get?

“She is engaged to Patrick Richmond.”

“You have got to be shitting me.” Patrick was Callum’s former best friend.

I put my arm around his shoulders. “I am so sorry, bro. That sucks. Those assholes deserve each other,” I growled. I didn’t get worked up about much, but someone hurting my family made me see red. I wanted to jump in the car and fucking rearrange that smug prick’s face.

“Thanks, Dec.” He turned to face me, and I saw how exhausted he looked.

“It’s been almost three years since the divorce and it still hurts.

” I didn’t know the full details of Callum and Becca’s divorce.

As his brother, my job at the time was to get him drunk and make sure he showed up on time to his court dates.

We were not in the habit of talking about feelings, so this conversation was already feeling strange.

He ran his fingers through his hair, and I noticed it had been a while since he’d had a trim.

My older brother was always the cool, controlled one.

He supported Liam when his first brewery went under, and he helped me figure my shit out after I got out of the navy.

He was there for everyone. And part of me was proud that I could be there for him.

“So that’s why you have been exercising like a demon?”

“I guess so. I need something to take my mind off this.”

“Fair enough. I’m here if you need me. To talk, to drink, or to run. Got it?”

“Thanks, bro.” He clapped me on the shoulder and offered a weak smile.

“Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?”

“Hell, no. Mom would probably go slash their tires. Or worse.”

“Remember when she went to the psychic lady who used to set up a table in the town square and tried to put a curse on Becca?”

We both laughed. My mom was many things, but forgiving was not one of them. Becca had hurt her son and denied her grandbabies. My mom was still furious at her.

“Good call, the last thing we need is Mom getting arrested.”

“So are we going to talk about Astrid?”

We had snagged a booth in the corner of the diner. It was busy, even though it was still early, and after two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches on homemade English muffins, I was feeling much better. The diner always made me feel better. It was a second home.

I sipped my third cup of coffee and tried to figure out how to avoid this conversation. “What is there to talk about?”

“I don’t know. What is the deal? You seem anxious every time I bring her up.”

I didn’t know how to respond to his question. Was it because I was overwhelmed with anxiety about lying to my family? Or was it because I could not compartmentalize my feelings for her and knew things were already getting messy?

“I’m not trying to offend you. I am genuinely happy for you. It’s been a long time since you found someone you liked enough to keep around for a while. It’s a good thing,” he said, gesturing Jackie for a coffee refill.

I was feeling defensive. “Let me guess, you think she’s too good for me?” It wasn’t shocking. I figured this would be the response of most people. But it kind of hurt to hear it come from my brother.

“No. Not at all.”

“Bullshit.”

“Maybe. But not for the reasons you think.”

“Really?”

Callum pinned me with his big brother stare. “I don’t care about her Ivy League degrees or her fancy job. You are one of the smartest people I know.”

“No way.” I hated when he did this. Tried to pretend I was as smart as he was. I knew it wasn’t true, and I hated being lied to.

“You are, Dec. You are thoughtful and creative and humble. You are great. Don’t put yourself down.”

I knew there was a “but” coming. I waited for him to continue.

“But I worry about you. It takes a lot to get you out of your shell. And I am worried this girl will hurt you. She is clearly only here temporarily, and she comes from a very different world.”

I debated how to respond. He was right. Of course he was. My brother was perceptive as well as smart, and nothing got by him, especially when it came to his family. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the need to tell him the truth. He was my best friend, and I felt guilty lying to him.

“It’s fake,” I said, staring into my coffee mug.

“I don’t follow.”

“Our relationship. It’s fake. We are friends who are faking.”

“Why?” He looked totally confused.

“Because I want to get Mom off my back and show Dad I’m stable enough to run the company.

It’s starting to really grate on me. I feel like shit most days that I’m not like everyone else.

That I’m not some super friendly charming guy like you who can find a girlfriend effortlessly.

That I’m not the settling down type. I just want everyone to leave me alone for a bit, so Astrid is pretending to be my girlfriend while she’s here. ”

“I want to talk more about why you feel the need to fake a relationship instead of having an honest conversation with our parents, but first, what about Astrid? Is she just a really nice person?”

I did not want to have that conversation with him right now. I had already made myself vulnerable. “It’s not my story to tell, but she needs me too. I am going to be her date for some fancy law gala so she can network and find her next job.”

“Ah. Is there someone she wants to make jealous?”

“No, why?”

“No reason. I can just see that you are perfect for that.”

“Huh?” I grunted at him.

He punched me in the arm. “Dude, you are a tall, built veteran with long hair and tattoos. You will scare the shit out of whatever poindexter she used to date.”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“You are so clueless sometimes. I will never repeat this, but have some confidence, man. You are like an Irish Jason Momoa. You walk in a room and most of the women stare at you.” He gestured around the diner where there were definitely a few ladies checking me out.

Including Nonna Rossi, Nora’s eighty-year-old grandmother who sat at the counter fully made up in a fancy pink suit.

I wasn’t blind. I knew I got attention from women, but most of the time I didn’t care.

It made me feel like a piece of meat sometimes.

“Do you have a tux?” Callum asked.

“Nope.”

“Okay, I got a guy.”

“Of course you do.”

“You will thank me when you look like James fucking Bond at this legal thing. If you are going to be her fake boyfriend then be the best goddamn fake boyfriend you can be.”

Just the thought of wearing a tux made my skin itch. “I hate you right now, but you have a point.” I sighed. “Fine. I’ll go to your tux guy.”

He smiled. I hated proving him right.

“But,” I continued, “promise you won’t tell anyone we’re fake dating.”

“Of course not. I’ll keep your secret. I think you guys are lying to yourselves, but that’s for you to figure out.”

He wasn’t wrong. Deep down I knew I was lying to myself, but it seemed preferable to confronting my complicated feelings. I couldn’t tell him that sometimes it felt real. I couldn’t admit that I was getting attached to her.

I hesitated. “And, it’s complicated. And it doesn’t help that Ginger is in love with her.”

“Wow.” He stroked his stubble and smiled at me. Asshole. He was clearly enjoying my anguish.

“And I kissed her, after the Christmas Tree Burn.”

“Really?” He smirked that irritating smirk, and I hated myself for telling him all this. “How was it?”

Now I was pissed. I stood up. “Fucking magical. Is that what you want to hear? It was the hottest kiss of my life, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Callum pointed to my chair. “Sit down, Dec, and take a breath. We can figure this out.”

“There’s nothing I can do. I dug my grave on this. I’m going to hold up my end of the bargain because I’m a man of my word. And I’m not going to upset or confuse her with my feelings.”

“But you have feelings?”

He was pissing me off. “Yes, Cal, and I haven’t had feelings like this ever.”

He laughed. That asshole actually laughed. “Oh shit. You are so screwed.”

“Please don’t remind me.” I glared at him. As much as I appreciated him having my back, I also knew he was going to have a field day with this.

“Can we go back to the part where we never discuss feelings and just mess with each other all the time?”

“Yes, please,” I replied. “This is more sharing than I’ve done in the past ten years, and I’m feeling faint.” I fanned myself for dramatic effect.

He grinned at me. “What if we head over to the brewery after this and bust Liam’s balls for a bit.”

“It’s a start.”