Page 259 of The Havenport Collection

Eliza

“ E liza.” I heard the door creak open. “You need to get up.”

Gina walked over to my bed, set a mug of steaming coffee on the nightstand, and sat down next to me, pushing the hair out of my face.

I lay there, wearing my clothes from last night, curled up around my fleece blanket that still smelled faintly like Matteo. To think, just yesterday we were curled up in this bed together.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel worse.”

“I figured. But you have your interview today, and you need a shower, lots of coffee, and a good verbal ass kicking.”

I pulled the blanket over my head, wanting to wallow some more.

“It’s ten o’clock. Get up.” I didn’t care what time it was.

I hadn’t slept at all, my brain racing all night long, replaying my conversation with Matteo over and over again.

I alternated between crying and fantasizing about kicking his ass.

I couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.

How differently things could have gone, what could have happened with Val, or what could have happened if I had just plugged my fucking phone in.

She wandered over to the door and studied my whiteboard. I had erased all of my to-do lists and reminders and written in a red marker, “don’t be a fuckup.”

“Seriously?” she said under her breath. Before I could react, she was violently pulling the blanket off my body. “What happened to your to-do list? What happened to the exercise and the meditation and dragging me to yoga classes?”

I sat up and threw a pillow at her.

She smiled. “That’s more like it. Wanna throw something else at me?”

I shook my head.

“I know you are hurting, and we will get to that later. But right now, you have a big opportunity in front of you, and as your best friend I am not going to let you waste it.”

On some level, I knew she was right. But I was too hurt and angry to really hear it.

“I am not letting you give up, Eliza. If I have to strip you naked and throw you in a cold shower, I will.” I believed her. Gina may be tiny but she had gotten really into weightlifting recently, and I was pretty sure she could bench press my ass into next week.

“Fine.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes, my fists coming away smeared with makeup.

She handed me the coffee cup. “I got someone to cover for me at the store. I’ll drive you and then after we can put on pj’s and cry and eat junk food, okay?”

I nodded, gesturing for her to come closer, and enveloped her in a hug.

“And then you are going to tell me everything. And we’ll make a new to-do list and help you get yourself back on track. Because I know you are heartbroken, but no man is worth throwing away your health for.”

“I love you, G,” I whispered, tears streaming down my face.

“Love you too, E. Now get showered. You stink of BO and misery.”

I hauled my ass out of bed and into the shower, feeling miserable. As much as I was interested in the job at the clinic, I was in no state for a professional interview.

And then it hit me. Not only was my career circling the drain, but I had also just ended the only real relationship I had ever had.

I sat down in the tub, letting the water wash over me until it ran cold. Anger faded to sadness, and sadness faded to numbness.

“What are you doing?” Gina said, standing in the bathroom.

I turned off the water and accepted her offered towel. “I was just thinking about how my life is in shambles. The career I worked so hard for is in shambles and—”

“Stop right there. Just stop.”

I dried off and stepped into the hall where she was standing.

“I am not going to let you feel sorry for yourself right now. I will not feel sorry for you, Eliza, but I will champion the fuck out of you. And right now, you need to put your game face on and focus on your career. You’re right—you love being a nurse and you worked damn hard to get here. So don’t blow it.”

I nodded, unsure how to respond.

“Compartmentalize. I know this is a challenge for you. But think only of the interview and nursing. I’ll help you practice, and you will roll up there ready to crush it.”

I did what Gina said. I put on a nice outfit, did my hair and makeup, and let her pepper me with interview questions.

My numbness started to fade, and my competitive instincts started to take over.

I was interested in this job, and she was right.

I had to compartmentalize. I could fall apart after, but right now?

Just because Matteo let me down didn’t mean I was going to let myself down too.

“So do you think you got it?” Meadow asked, flopping on the couch in a unicorn onesie, handing me a margarita.

I shrugged. “Don’t know.” I took a sip and it was cold, tart, and sweet. “This is perfection,” I yelled to Juniper, who was manning the blender in the kitchen area. She gave me a thumbs-up as she rolled the rim of another glass in salt.

We were camped out in the twins’ living room. Gina had rallied the troops after my interview, and an emergency sleepover was called to order. Everyone was in their favorite pj’s, we had ordered both Indian and Thai food, and Juniper was making super strong margaritas for everyone.

Meadow had brought the face masks, Sylvie several pints of ice cream, and Gina had all our favorite high school movies on DVD, ready to go.

“It went well,” I admitted. It went more than well.

I totally hit it off with Maggie Leary, who apparently had also worked for years with Dr. Higgins and was not a fan.

We knew a lot of people in common and talked a lot about our philosophies about patient care.

She was smart and a bit intimidating, but warm. “I think I have a crush on Maggie.”

“Join the club; that woman is goals,” Sylvie said. “She runs a medical practice, is a nurse practitioner, has two awesome kids, does everything in town, and has a smoking hot doctor husband.”

“She makes it look easy,” Gina added, playing with the hem of her skull pajama pants.

“We will get there too,” Meadow said. “Someday. But I doubt she was girl bossing right out of the gate. She probably struggled as much as we are now. But that doesn’t mean we won’t figure out how to do it all our own way.”

I put my arm around her. “That is beautiful.”

She kissed my hair. “So how did you leave things?”

“She’s going to let me know by the end of the week. She’s calling my references today and running the background check. Since she needs someone to start ASAP, the process is going to go fast. If she hires me, I’ll immediately give notice to the hospital and then start training with her.”

“And the hours? The pay?”

“Both so much better than the hospital.”

Gina raised her glass. “Then I propose a toast to Eliza. Way to get shit done, girl.”

We all clinked our glasses, and I felt warm and fuzzy inside, and not just from the tequila. I had wonderful friends, and that was something worth celebrating.

After everyone was settled with a cocktail and a face mask, Juniper asked the inevitable. “So are you going to tell us what happened?”

I didn’t want to. I wanted to have fun with my friends and not think about the fact that, less than twenty-four hours ago, I had my heart broken. But I knew, deep down, that talking about it was better than facing this alone.

I put my drink down and explained what had happened.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Sylvie said. “You must be hurting so badly.”

“Um. Am I the only person consumed with rage right now?” Juniper asked. “We need to castrate this fucker. How could he treat you like that?”

I laughed. I loved my friends. “I’m not sure violence is the answer,” Gina said. “Even if it would be deeply satisfying.”

Meadow whipped her phone out. “I’m going to write a bunch of 1-star Yelp reviews of his restaurant.”

“Ooh, me too.” Sylvie said. “Good idea.”

“Guys. Hurting his business won’t solve anything.”

Meadow rolled her eyes. “But it would be fun. You can help me write it—come up with some really horrible adjectives.”

“While I do enjoy using the written word as a weapon, let’s focus on Eliza,” Gina said.

“Fine. Wanna scroll Tinder and find some young, hot dude to take your mind off him?” Meadow asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “There are tons of shirtless pics.”

“No,” I almost shouted. The thought of being with anyone else made me sick. I didn’t want anyone who wasn’t Matteo. As much as I was angry at him, I still loved him.

Meadow shrugged. “Okay, but let me know when you’re ready. I will help you set up a killer profile.”

Juniper gave her sister a disgusted look. “Ignore her. If you won’t let us get revenge on Matteo, what do you need?”

It was a good question. I had no idea, really. I wanted to not be in love with him. That was what I needed—a fucking time machine.

“Do you have a spare DeLorean lying around so I can go back in time and not fall in love with him?”

I watched as all my friends’ faces fell. Ugh. I hated being the pity case.

Gina came and sat down on the other side of me and put her arm around me, pulling me close.

Damn, she had gotten strong. “Is that what you really want? Because I think falling in love with him, as painful as it might feel right now, is not something you’re going to want to forget.

” I rested my head on her shoulder, considering her words.

“Yes,” Sylvie added. “Think about how you’ve grown and changed. And he made that possible.”

“You stood up for yourself. Articulated your needs. Put yourself first. Girl, that is a victory,” Juniper said, raising her glass.

Gina stroked my hair while the tears flowed. They weren’t wrong. I had learned a lot about myself and prioritizing my needs. I was stronger, even if my heart was broken.

I covered my face with my hands. I needed more drinks for this level of conversation. I preferred the revenge angle. “I hate when you guys are right.”

The rest of the night passed in a blur of drinks, chocolate, and multiple viewings of 10 Things I Hate About You . I couldn’t shake the sense that my friends were right. As much as I was hurting right now, I would never regret falling for Matteo.

As I watched the pivotal scene, where Patrick Verona serenades Kat Stratford to apologize to her, my heart clenched.

I wanted that. Not Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace, but someone who would go out on a limb for me.

Who wasn’t afraid to love me publicly and declare it to the world.

I feared I would never get it. But at least, after all these years, I had finally realized my own worth.