Page 188 of The Havenport Collection

Sylvie

“ E arth to Sylvie,” Gina shouted.

“I’m here,” I said, trudging behind her. “Why aren’t we eating pancakes at the diner right now?”

“Because fresh air and exercise are the best things for us. And Eliza is asleep, so you are hiking with me today.”

Gina had dragged me out of bed for an early morning hike through the wildlife refuge. While I would admit that the sand dunes and coastal marsh were glorious at sunrise, it was January, and the cold air was burning my lungs as I sucked wind trudging through the sand.

I had never known Gina to be the outdoorsy type. She was mostly a science nerd with a goth streak, but I supposed a decade on the west coast could really change a person. The sight of her in hiking boots was strange to say the least, but she still rocked the heavy eyeliner, even at seven a.m.

“I didn’t realize you were in such good shape,” I said, jogging to catch up with her swift pace.

“I’ve been hiking and walking a lot since I got home.

I like being outside, and I missed winter after so many years in California.

Plus, what else do I have to do? I work at the store, hang out with you and Eliza, and suffer through dinner with my parents once a week.

I have plenty of free time. I’ve been thinking I might train for a half marathon this summer, actually. ”

That sounded like a living nightmare to me, but Gina was so intense, she would probably love it. “Awesome. I will be at the finish line cheering for you with drinks.”

She turned around and frowned at me. “Are you going to tell me what happened? Or are we just going to pretend you are not nursing a broken heart right now?”

I pulled my hat down lower and kept walking. “We had some fun together, and now I’m moving.”

“Cut the shit, Sylvie. Tell me what happened.”

I stopped walking and glared at her. She glared back, and I knew this was not a battle I would win.

“We ran into my parents. And they were their usual, rude, judgmental selves.” I shrugged. “And it was a shock to my system. Made me realize that the doubts I was having were real and valid. That I can’t throw everything away for a guy I just met.”

Gina crossed her arms. “You are lying to yourself. Everyone can see you are head over heels for the guy.”

“I’m not lying to myself. I know how much I like him, okay? And it’s messing with my head. I’m supposed to be leaving soon. Starting over, launching Sylvie 2.0.”

“Why can’t Wyatt be a part of Sylvie 2.0? If he’s that amazing, you will figure it out.”

I sat down in the sand, curling my arms around my knees. After a moment, Gina sat down next to me.

We stared for a few minutes at the ocean while I collected my thoughts. “Wyatt is amazing. The kind of guy I’ve dreamt about meeting for years. And we had a great couple of weeks together. Cuddling and talking and cooking, and lots and lots of great sex.”

It was true. Spending time with him was so much fun. I looked forward to snuggling by the fire, or trying out a recipe, or just hanging out at the brewery waiting for him to finish up work. Being with him was effortless. We just fit.

“And there is no pretense,” I continued. “He’s not playing hard to get—like not texting me back or canceling plans. He’s into me, and he wants me to know that. Do you have any idea how refreshing this is?”

“Let yourself have him, Sylvie. Give yourself permission to be happy.”

“Long distance would never work.”

“Why not? Sounds like a bullshit excuse to me.”

Gina wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. “Do you want to know what I think?”

I looked up at her. “Do I have a choice?”

She shook her head. “I think you don’t really want to leave—and you are punishing yourself for it. You’ve spent years feeling insecure about your music career, but deep down you love it.”

“And so you could move to Connecticut and date Wyatt. I’m sure he would love to do that. We both know he would probably move there if you asked him to.”

I couldn’t let myself go down this road. I couldn’t let myself hope. “Stop it, Gina. Stop pushing.”

She gave me another squeeze. “It’s what I do, sweetie. I’m your get-a-grip friend. I am not an enabler. I am not going to lie to you. I love you too much for that.”

“I love you too.”

“So I am saying it loud and clear. I want you to be happy and fulfilled and having amazing orgasms all the livelong day. So figure out your shit. Or I will throw your ass in the ocean.” She gestured to the freezing, choppy surf, and I shivered.

I hated to admit it, but Gina was right. I let my insecurities and confusion get the better of me, and I needed to figure my shit out.

“You wanna go get those pancakes now?” she asked softly.

I nodded, tears streaming down my face. I knew I had hurt Wyatt, and I hated myself for that.

All he did was support me and tell me he loved me, and I pushed him away.

Did I love him? Could we make this work?

There were so many things I had to work out.

I knew I needed to sit down at my piano and write about it.