Page 223 of The Havenport Collection

Nora

B y the time I returned to Luke’s apartment, I was exhausted. I had been up most of the night, running through scenarios and freaking out. This meeting was my big shot, and I wasn’t going to blow it. I knew I had to be my absolute best and nothing else would cut it.

X-Chrome Capital was a big deal. A much bigger deal than the people I had pitched to in Boston. And more importantly, these executives were women—accomplished, ambitious women. So earning their approval meant more to me than I was comfortable admitting.

And I was feeling especially vulnerable after my disastrous conversation with my mother on Friday.

Her words still lingered. As I’d dressed this morning, smoothing my skirt over my ample hips, I could hear her sneers about my body.

I could see her disgusted expression when I came downstairs in my prom dress.

I could feel the judgment in every cell in my body.

I pushed those thoughts out of my head. I had spent way too much time learning to love myself.

Jeanious Bar was a celebration of all women and all bodies, and I had to honor that.

I kicked off my shoes and collapsed on the bed, happy and tired and nervous. Things had gone well, really well, but they had put me through the paces. I had never faced such tough questioning before, but I was prepared and confident, and I think my materials spoke for themselves.

The offices were downtown, in an industrial chic building filled with natural light and state-of-the-art technology.

The elevator opened up into a bustling office space with communal tables, white boards, and plush furniture.

It could not have been more different than the leather and mahogany offices of the boys’ clubs I had previously visited.

I was met by Annabelle, the managing partner, who greeted me with double-cheek kisses and a double espresso. She had long, waist-length braids threaded with silver beads and was rocking an enviable red lip. I felt like I had met my hero.

From there I was whisked to a series of meetings with the various teams within the firm.

I presented, then went through several rounds of questioning and a brainstorming session with the early-stage investment team.

Everyone was incredibly friendly and frighteningly smart, but I held my own, mainly due to the intense preparation I had done with Luke.

All that practice had been worth it. I couldn’t wait for him to get home so I could share my news.

I rolled around on the luxurious comforter, debating whether to close my eyes for a few minutes when I heard the door open.

“Luke,” I said, throwing my arms around him. “You haven’t returned any of my texts!”

He held me for a second before pulling away. “Sorry. I was out to lunch with an old friend.”

He reeked of whiskey and seemed down. Also it was five p.m., far past lunchtime. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know, Nora, is everything okay?”

I was taken aback by his tone. Instead of responding, I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass. Filling it with water, I walked over and offered it to him. He drank it down quickly and then sat at the kitchen island and put his head in his hands.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Luke, talk to me.”

He turned and eyed me suspiciously. “Nora, are you using me?”

I took a step back, totally confused. “Using you for what? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb.” He swayed gently on the stool, and I could tell he was quite drunk.

“Luke. You’ve had a lot to drink. Let me get you some aspirin and more water. Why don’t you relax on the couch for a bit until you feel better?” I didn’t know what had gotten into him, aside from a gallon of whiskey.

I was disappointed and hurt. I expected we would be celebrating my pitch meeting tonight.

I wanted to tell him every detail—talk about the people I had met and the questions I had answered.

I wanted to tell him about their amazing offices and the sort of companies they invested in.

I was bubbling with so much energy and optimism that to be hit with a drunk, nasty Luke was jarring.

“Are you going to leave me, Nora? Cheat on me with your trainer?”

My head was spinning. What the hell was he talking about?

“Of course not. What would make you think that? Also, my trainer is Yael, and she’s happily married to one of my friends, so no risk there.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but he didn’t seem amused.

“Also,” I continued, “I don’t know what brought this on, but all I wanted was to come back here and tell you about my meeting today. I wanted to share my excitement with you.”

“Oh, the meeting I helped you get with my ex-girlfriend?” he sneered. “The meeting I helped you prepare for? And let you stay in my apartment? That meeting? Tell me, Nora, did Lucas Kim’s girlfriend get what she wanted?”

I felt his words like a slap to the face. He had been incredibly helpful, and I was grateful for it, but to treat me like I was riding his coattails? Like I didn’t earn this on my own?

“I don’t want to fight, Luke,” I said, my eyes filling with tears.

“I’m not fighting, Nora. I’m just questioning everything right now.”

Anxiety began to bubble up within me, and I felt dizzy. I excused myself and went to the bedroom where I sat down, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Luke had been drinking and was clearly upset about something.

I had an overwhelming urge to take care of him, to assure him of my love and devotion, and to push all this away.

But I knew I couldn’t ignore it. He was being dismissive and cruel, and I didn’t tolerate that shit.

I had put up with this kind of treatment for too long, first from my mother and then from Chip.

Luke was making me doubt myself. For so long, I gave others too much power. The power to hurt me and belittle me and make me feel less than. I had learned in therapy you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you are willing to settle for.

And Luke may have been drinking, but he was being unnecessarily cruel. I didn’t have to stay here and take this treatment. I was stronger than this. I wasn’t going to cower in the bedroom afraid of my boyfriend. I was going to put on my big girl pants and get myself out of this harmful situation.

I grabbed my suitcase, filled it quickly, and slipped on my favorite jeans and sneakers. I found a flight on my phone leaving in a few hours and landing in Boston around midnight.

I texted Cece asking if Liam could come pick me up, and then I grabbed my purse.

“Where are you going? Don’t want to tell me the truth?” Luke asked, arms folded across his chest.

I stood up straight and looked him in the eye. I prayed that I wouldn’t cry in front of him. That I would conduct myself with dignity.

“I’m heading back to Havenport,” I said briskly. “Thank you for letting me stay and for all the help, but I think it’s best if I leave now.”

He stood up and walked over. “So it’s true then? You have no use for me now? You don’t really love me?”

“That’s not remotely true, and you will realize that when you’re sober. I’m not going to sit here and let you insult me. I am going home. Good night, Luke.”

I left the apartment, got into the elevator, and made it to the sidewalk where the doorman hailed me a cab. It wasn’t until I was inside that I burst into tears.