Page 77 of The Havenport Collection

Declan

A strid was clearly impressed by the brewery, and it filled me with pride.

Although I would never, under any circumstances, say it out loud, I was really proud of my little brother.

Liam had achieved so much, and was only able to do so by opening himself up to Cece.

I supposed there was a lesson there, but I was studiously avoiding feelings and life lessons at the moment.

I had to stay focused. Astrid was my fake girlfriend, and we were attending this event together.

I was going to be an attentive and engaging fake boyfriend and that was it.

I couldn’t go breaking the rule again. Things had been awkward enough since the Christmas Tree Burn.

But that dress. Did she have to wear that dress?

It felt like she was messing with me. First of all, it was the last thing I ever thought she would wear.

Sparkly and short? Didn’t seem like her, but seeing it on her body I couldn’t imagine her in anything else.

On anyone else it would be flashy, but on Astrid it was classy and subdued.

She moved with such confidence and grace, it was such a turn-on.

“So they really fell in love while fighting about this place?”

“Pretty much,” I said. “Once Liam realized how much smarter Cece was, he started listening to her, and they really took this place to the next level. Six months ago he thought he may have to close, and now business is booming, they are renovating and expanding, and we’re starting a distribution company together. ”

She squeezed my arm. “That is so incredible. Cece is pretty awesome. I can see how she would be able to make all that happen.”

“It just used to be so different. But Cece showed up with new ideas and she even got the whole town involved. She harnessed the power of all the locals—people donated their time, their expertise, and a ton of landscaping. Even on a shoestring budget, she managed to fix this place up quite a bit.”

All of a sudden Astrid’s body tensed, and she grabbed my hand. “There are so many people here. Think we can really convince them?” She looked nervous and I wanted to take her into my arms. Instead, I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “We’re gonna knock em dead, killer.”

As the night wore on I realized I was having fun. And I had stayed way longer than the usual hour I gave myself at social functions. We drank and ate. Astrid and I even squared off on the vintage pinball machine. We chatted with my brothers, my parents, and a variety of people from town.

“Stop trying to lead,” I said, trying to wrestle back control of this dance.

“You know I don’t take orders,” she pouted, unwilling to follow me.

I thought about if that extended to the bedroom, and it was hot.

Imagine if she was as defiant in bed as she was out of it…

Stop. Stop. Fake girlfriend. It’s fake. There had been several moments tonight when I had to keep reminding myself of just how fake this was, because things were starting to feel far too real.

We continued to attempt to dance, and I could feel her getting the hang of it. When she finally gave in to me, I felt the tension in her body disappear. As we danced to Stevie Wonder, I whispered in her ear. “See, sometimes it’s fun to let someone else be in charge.”

She gave me a sly smile that said thousands of filthy things. Or at least that’s what I imagined. She may have been smiling because I had food in my teeth, hell if I knew.

I liked her way too much. I had spent most of my adult life focused on my job, my family, and self-preservation. I was not used to these runaway feelings, these urges that I had when it came to Astrid. I was a mess, and tonight was only making it worse.

I had to do something. I had to mentally put some distance between us. And I couldn’t live with the awkwardness anymore. Especially because she felt so good in my arms.

I looked down at my shoes. I was such a coward. “I want to apologize.”

She looked concerned. “For what?”

“For kissing you last weekend.” I took a breath. I hated talking about this shit. “I don’t want to mess up our friendship.”

Her face was blank. I couldn’t get a read on her. She was totally lawyering me right now. “Declan. I don’t want to screw things up either.”

I exhaled. “Okay.”

“I mean,” she said, playing with my hair at the base of my neck, “I liked it. But I know it can’t happen again.”

I nodded. This was not going the way I had planned. I thought talking about it would extinguish the heat between us, but now my collar was getting tight, and I had the urge to run out into the parking lot.

“I can’t give you more, Declan.”

“I understand.” Actually, I didn’t understand. I wanted to pick apart her lawyer logic and then kiss her senseless. But I knew that this was not a battle I could win. And I lacked the ability to verbalize any of the things I was feeling at the moment.

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder while we swayed gently to the music. Meanwhile, I worked on ignoring my nausea and convincing myself that we could be just friends.

I was at the bar getting a beer when Callum slid right up next to me. “You know, Trent is going to start a betting pool on you guys next. The odds are that you’re engaged in six months.”

I turned slowly toward my brother, who was clearly really enjoying this.

I glared at him. “Fuck off, Cal,” I replied through clenched teeth.

Callum smiled and looked over to where Astrid was chatting with some of her girlfriends. He shook his head. “You are in denial, man.”

“And you are a prick, Fabio.”

Of course Luke Kim was here, looking cover-model handsome as usual. He was out and about but seemed distracted by Nora. I couldn’t blame him. Nora was pretty. She didn’t hold a candle to my Astrid, of course, but any red-blooded man would be distracted by her.

My Astrid? My stupid brain was playing with me again.

I couldn’t go down this road. I couldn’t get attached.

I had already caught feelings, and I had to keep them from developing any further.

I knew it would be hard when she left. I would lose a friend, a confidante, and a person who really got me.

But if things developed into more? I would be lost.

“I didn’t know you were from Havenport?” Astrid asked politely. I didn’t like how she spoke to him, like he was royalty or something.

“I’m not. I grew up a few towns over. I used to come here as a kid and fell in love with it. I promised myself when I grew up and made it I would move here,” he replied. Why are his teeth so straight and perfect? Bastard.

“That’s so sweet.”

“And now, after selling my company, I’m doing some work here and there but I’m mostly just taking a break and volunteering. I am on the board of the shelter in town. It really means a lot to me.”

“That’s fantastic,” she replied.

“Actually,” I said, jumping into the conversation, “Astrid does a lot of pro bono work. She is even getting an award in a few weeks.” I was playing the part of proud boyfriend and it was surprisingly easy.

“That’s fantastic,” Luke replied. “Congrats. What kind of pro bono?”

I zoned out for a bit while Astrid told Luke all about her debt clinic. The brewery was packed. My parents were at the bar. I couldn’t quite tell, but it looked like my mother was taking my father’s beer away from him.

“That is fantastic. I can’t believe I met you. I am actually trying to set up a legal clinic at the shelter,” Luke said, grabbing his phone.

“Really?” Astrid seemed excited.

“There are a lot of legal hurdles for many of these families to deal with in order to get back on their feet. We have legal staff that help with the family law stuff, protective orders, divorce, child custody, that type of thing. But we’re finding more and more that our residents need other legal assistance—housing, immigration, debt collection, bankruptcy, employment issues, government benefits. ”

“Yes. That makes a lot of sense. Legal problems don’t exist in a vacuum. Usually people have several different things going on.”

“Exactly,” he exclaimed. “The local legal services organization is swamped, and we’ve tried to build partnerships with some outside law firms, but we need to put some kind of formal program in place.

The shelter is not just housing. The crisis center assists tens of thousands of families all over the region each year.

Organizations like this play a significant role in helping people, and I need to make the connection between our services and legal assistance. ”

He was so passionate, even I was impressed.

I never had anything against Luke Kim. On the contrary, I thought he was a decent guy.

But the fact that this tech billionaire was so devoted to women and children in crisis?

It warmed my icy heart a bit. My parents had always given back to the community, but what was I doing?

“I’m not a brilliant lawyer like my girlfriend, but I’d love to get involved if I could. I don’t suppose the shelter needs fish?” I joked.

He laughed. “Hey, your fish is amazing, man. But now that you mention it, we really need more local job placements. People want to work, they want good jobs, but it’s hard to find some right now. I don’t suppose you are hiring?”

I racked my brain. We ran a pretty lean operation, but we were always in need of more bodies.

“I could really use some admin help and a warehouse supervisor,” I offered.

I would talk to Callum about expanding payroll.

We were up to our eyeballs in orders at the moment, and adding on some organized people would really help as we moved into the summer months.

Luke clapped me on the shoulder. “Good man! I will have my assistant call you on Monday and we can get some more details. Helping people find jobs is my favorite part of this gig.”

I smiled at him. He really was a genuine, kind person.

“And Astrid,” he said, turning to her, “I’d love to pick your brain about the legal stuff.” He handed her a card. “Give me a call sometime.”

Luke scampered off to go schmooze, and Astrid and I were left staring at each other.

“You should call him,” I said gruffly, studying the contents of my empty beer stein.

She shoved me. “Don’t be jealous, Declan.”

“I’m not. He is a good guy and he is really committed to helping people.”

“But I’m a corporate lawyer,” she demurred.

I put my arm around her shoulders. “You are a brilliant, hard-working lawyer. I am pretty sure you can figure out all the stuff he was talking about.”

She fussed with her hair. “Of course I could. I could set up a legal service delivery model for the shelter and get up to speed on the various types of law, or outsource to some local contacts, but that’s not the point.”

I waited, knowing there was more. Astrid was still working through her feelings, and I wanted to give her the space to do it.

She bristled. “I have to go back to Boston, back to a BigLaw firm. That’s what I'm qualified to do. I’ve spent ten years working toward this one goal. I need to stay focused.”

I gave her a tight smile. And that, right there, folks, was why I couldn’t get attached to this girl. Because she didn’t want this place. She didn’t want me. She wanted to go back to her workaholic law firm life, and no matter how much I wanted to, I would not stand in her way.