Page 255 of The Havenport Collection

Matteo

I t was late, and I was finally sitting down to do my final review of the plans and stock for the Maple Festival this weekend when I heard a car in the driveway. I perked up. Was Eliza here?

We hadn’t seen each other in a few days, just her picking up Val at school and heading out once I got home in the evenings.

I had been working nonstop since the Maple Festival was the official start to the tourist season in town.

Nick would be manning the restaurant, which would be open all weekend for the foot traffic, and I would be in the town square selling maple-themed treats.

I was anxious about leaving him in charge, but he was a good kid and seemed up for the challenge.

Festivals were a ton of work, but brought in excellent revenue and were great name recognition for the restaurant.

I only started doing them recently, after Cece Leary, my sister’s best friend, helped me put together a marketing plan last year.

So it was Thursday, and I was looking at a few days of nonstop work.

Thankfully, Gio would be helping me at my booth, and Val would be with Eliza on Saturday and with Bruno and Barb on Sunday.

But that meant that I wasn’t likely to be able to spend time with Eliza until our Monday date.

And it was killing me. I wanted to see her, kiss her, hold her.

Having her around made the hard days so much easier.

I peered out the window, expecting to see Eliza’s car, and instead found myself staring at a shiny silver Tesla. I watched in horror as my sister climbed out, dressed as always in jeans and high heels she would no doubt use to castrate whoever got in her way.

I opened the door as she made her way up the driveway with her boyfriend Luke.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked suspiciously.

“We came to say hello. I picked up some gifts for Val when I was in New York yesterday and wanted to drop them off myself and see you.” She reached up and gave me a peck on the cheek.

I offered my hand to Luke, who shook it. “And I brought you this.” He held up a stupidly expensive bottle of scotch.

“Thanks,” I said, admiring the label. “I can always use a strong drink when my baby sister comes to visit.” Luke gave me a wink as I gestured for them to come inside.

Against all my instincts, I liked the guy.

I wanted to hate him—he was rich, brilliant, handsome, and was dating my sister.

But he was head over heels in love with Nora, and that softened my cold dead heart just enough to tolerate him.

Besides, if I didn’t, I would be having one of Nora’s stilettos surgically removed from my ass, and no one had time for that.

I didn’t even have time to offer Luke a glass of scotch before I sensed I was under attack.

“I heard that hell beast is here in Massachusetts. What are you going to do about her?”

I ran my hand through my hair. “I’ve got it under control. She’s got a job and a nice apartment in Cambridge. She’s sober and wants to be near Valentina.”

She narrowed her eyes. “While I will always support a sister who needs help, I don’t trust her.

” Nora had many wonderful qualities, but she was not easily trusting and harbored a very angry grudge against Mandy.

Nora had enough mother issues to fill a stadium, so it was no surprise she was ready to go to war to protect my little girl from any harm.

“Astrid connected me with a wonderful family lawyer. She’s one of the best in the state, and she is ready for whatever Mandy might do. She thinks that any judge will be impressed by the stable, loving environment I’ve created for Val.”

“Will that be enough?”

“I hope so. On the one hand, I want Val to be able to see her mother, but on the other, I’m not ready to forgive her and give her access to my child.”

“Does she want custody?”

“I don’t know. She told me she would be filing a petition with the courts soon. I don’t know exactly what she and her lawyer are cooking up, but if I know Mandy, there is an angle.”

“Of course there is. That woman has the uncanny ability to fuck up everything around her.” Nora crossed her arms, clearly not satisfied. “Luke, you’re rich. Don’t you have a hitman on retainer?”

Luke looked horrified. “Of course not.”

“Nora,” I said, trying to remain calm. “I am not putting out a hit on my child’s mother. She’s not a bad person, and she’s trying.”

Nora rolled her eyes, clearly disgusted with us. “Fine. But don’t fuck this up. Don’t do anything that could look bad to a court. This could get very nasty.”

“Thanks for your faith in me, and I certainly don’t have any plans to,” I replied icily.

“Sorry. I know that. I’m just worried about Val. I want the best for that kid.”

“That makes two of us,” I replied.

“That makes three of us,” Luke said, standing up and putting his arm around Nora.

I smiled. My baby girl had so much love in her life. She had a whole army of people who would fight for her. And so did I. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for my large, loud, and interfering family.

I walked into the kitchen where I grabbed three glasses from the cabinet. They were plastic and had Paw Patrol characters on them, but they would have to do. I splashed a few fingers of Luke’s fancy scotch into them and headed back to the living room.

I handed each a glass and downed mine. It burned my esophagus. Who drank this shit?

I thought that we would hang out for a while, but clearly Nora had a different plan. She stood, her hands on her hips, and I got a strange urge to protect my genitals.

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” she said, sipping her drink, “let’s talk about why we’re really here. To intervene.”

I looked at Luke, who shrugged. “I’m just here for moral support, man.” He sat down in an armchair, and I turned my attention back to my sister.

“Sit down and listen.”

I sat on the couch, eyeing her suspiciously.

“I know what’s going on with you and Eliza.”

Shit.

“I have security cameras, dumbass. And she’s my tenant and Gina’s best friend.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. On the one hand, I was getting tired of the secrecy, but on the other, this was none of Nora’s business. Sadly, that argument was not likely to hold water with her.

“Yes.” I sat up straight. “Eliza and I have been hanging out. So?”

She threw her hands up in frustration “So? You have been carrying on with this girl for weeks and weeks and not telling anyone?”

I nodded.

“She’s too good for you.”

“Trust me, I know that.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing?”

I wanted to scream and kick them both out of my house. I didn’t know what I was doing; that was the problem. Figures Nora would know just how to get right into my head and start kicking at the hornet’s nest of my feelings.

“I don’t know, Nora. Why don’t you tell me since you seem to know everything?”

Her glare would have stopped my heart, if I hadn’t been on the receiving end of them since childhood. At this point, I was only a little scared of her.

“I think you’ve fallen into a secret relationship with a beautiful, smart, amazing woman.”

I nodded. She wasn’t wrong.

“Why, Matteo? If you like her, then date her properly. Do it right. This girl deserves more than to be your Monday morning booty call.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like? Because from where I stand, you are older, more mature, and fucking around with someone’s feelings. And that is not who you are. That is the kind of shit Mom does.”

I recoiled as if I had been punched. Comparing me to our mother was beyond a low blow. My mother was a user and a narcissist and a shitty person. As much as I wanted to scream at her for insulting me, part of me wondered if it was true.

Not that I would have been able to even get a word in, as Nora had worked herself into a full-blown rant.

“Is this how you treat women? What kind of example is this for your daughter?”

“Val doesn’t know. And I’m doing this for her. We’re keeping things quiet because I don’t want Val getting hurt. I can’t put her through that. She is my priority.”

“The best thing for Val is to see her father happy and emotionally stable. That means engaging in meaningful, healthy relationships. She adores Eliza and would probably be supportive of your dating, if you sat her down and explained it to her. She’s a brilliant kid; she probably already knows.”

Jesus. I put my head in my hands. If Val knew, I would be horrified. Not because it was Eliza, but because I hadn’t been honest with her. I wanted her to know she could always trust me, yet I was hiding something behind her back.

“Don’t you think that would mess with her head? You are the example for her. The way she sees you treat women? That is what she will expect from men in her own life. You are the gold standard.”

Fuck. There it was. The reason I hated fighting with my sister. She was usually right.

“What would you do if Luke was fucking me in private and refused to acknowledge me publicly?”

I cringed. I did not want to even contemplate Luke and my sister. I growled in his direction. “I would fucking kill him.”

Luke held up his hands. “Dude, this is not about me.”

“Do you see it now?”

I saw it. And I felt horrible. All this time, I thought this was the right thing to do.

But I hadn’t been fair to Eliza. I’d been trying to have my cake and eat it too and probably hurting her in the process.

She had never said anything. Eliza was easygoing and never once questioned my desire to take things slow and not tell anyone.

In fact, she had been really supportive.

I was the ass who selfishly wanted her and couldn’t keep my hands to myself.

She had been honest with me. She wanted something more, something real, and I had led her to believe that was possible, because I wasn’t strong enough to walk away. She was too beautiful, too kind, and too fun to walk away from.

“She was in my store last week, and I mentioned seeing you on the security footage. Her friends, including her roommate, had no idea. She got a positively dreamy look in her eyes when I mentioned your name. That girl is halfway in love with you. Do not break her heart because you are too chickenshit to be a grown-ass man and have a grown-ass relationship.”

After a moment of silence, I looked at Nora. “I can’t,” I said softly. “I can’t have a grown-ass relationship with her.”

“Why? She’s great.”

I poured myself some more of the scotch, in spite of myself. “She’s amazing. But I can’t give her what she wants. Marriage and kids.”

“And?”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why the hell not?”

I was getting pissed. Why could no one understand how much I was carrying? How hard every day was?

“Because marriage takes work and if you haven’t noticed, I haven’t got a spare minute a day to even think about myself, never mind a wife. I would be nothing but a disappointment, and it would make her miserable.”

Nora pinched the bridge of her nose in pain. “Do you want to address this bullshit or should I?” she asked Luke, who shrugged.

“Did she tell you that is what she wants?” she asked.

“No. Not directly. But I can tell.”

“Jesus Christ, Matteo. You are ruling out a relationship with the girl because she might want kids, but you’ve never bothered to ask? Christian is right; you are dumber than you look.”

That stung. “It’s not crazy to assume. She loves kids. Do you want kids?” I looked at Nora and Luke.

“Yes,” Luke answered decisively.

“Of course,” echoed Nora. “But we’re not in a rush. We have world domination to achieve, after all, but sure, I know it's in our future, one way or another.”

Luke winked at her, and she smiled at him.

“In the meantime, we are practicing a lot, so we’ll be ready when it’s go time.”

“Yeah we are!” said Luke, offering her a fist bump.

“Gross. You guys stop.” I could feel the expensive scotch making its way back up. “I hear you loud and clear. I will talk to her.”

It took several rounds of me promising not to fuck things up before I could get them out of my house. I drank several glasses of water, worrying what that much scotch would feel like in the morning, before heading upstairs to bed.

Nora was right. I hadn’t been fair to Eliza.

This whole relationship had been messed up from the start.

I couldn’t even kiss her when I wanted to.

I couldn’t be with her the way I wanted to.

And Nora was right—I couldn’t risk anything that could make me look bad in front of a judge.

And a secret affair with my babysitter didn’t seem like stable, responsible, parental behavior.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing I could sleep.

But all I could think about was Eliza. How natural and wonderful she was with Val and how much fun we had together.

I thought about her playful smiles, how incredible her lips felt, and just how good I felt when I was with her.

It was torture to meet the woman who was perfect for you and realize that you were not perfect for her.

Because I was not. Eliza deserved a future filled with time, attention, and lots of affection. I wanted her to have a true partner, who put her needs first and gave her everything she had ever wanted.

And I was not that man. We did not have years to spend together, getting to know each other, traveling and having adventures before settling down.

Between bouts of restless sleep, I started to think I had let this go on long enough. But I didn’t think I was strong enough to break it off. My need for her was too strong, my admiration for her too deep.

I woke up the next morning at five, wide awake with new clarity. Maybe Nora was right. Maybe we could make it work. Maybe we could take the next steps together, and I could manage it. I would just have to work harder and give more of myself, but Eliza was worth it.