Page 67 of The Havenport Collection

I felt myself wither under her stare. How could I throw her off the scent? If I couldn’t keep Nora convinced for an hour, how could we hope to fool the entire town?

“Um…well…we haven’t slept together yet,” I said coolly, hoping that she wouldn’t pry and we could just leave it at that.

“What? Not possible.”

“Yes,” I assured her. “We’re taking it slow.”

She almost spat out her coffee. “Bullshit. Declan Quinn is walking sex. The man sheds pheromones like skin cells. I have seen grown women walk into walls staring at his broody hotness. So what’s really the deal?”

I didn’t know what to say, since she wasn’t wrong. I shrugged.

“Astrid, I’m your friend. Do not lie to me.

Either you guys are sleeping together and it’s so terrible you can’t bear to tell me about it, or you aren’t really dating.

Or, you don’t realize that you have a certified sex god as your boyfriend, and you need me to slap the shit out of you until you see sense. ”

I was fairly certain Nora would actually do that too. She didn’t seem like the type of person who made idle threats. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I couldn’t betray Declan’s confidence. I knew how sensitive he was about his family.

“I had a bad experience.” It wasn’t a lie. “And I need to go slow right now.”

She put her hand over my hand. “If someone hurt you we can take care of him. My Nonna, she knows people.”

I smiled. “Thank you. And remind me not to piss off your Nonna.”

Nora snorted. “Good luck. Everything pisses her off.”

“So we haven’t had sex yet.”

“I respect that. I don’t understand it, but I respect your self-control. Your vibrator must be working overtime right now.”

It was both inspiring and a little bit appalling how open Nora was about sex, especially in a busy coffee shop. I lowered my voice. “I don’t have a vibrator.”

She slammed her hand on the table, making the coffee cups wobble. “What? Why? How? Are you okay?”

I hadn’t expected this response. It’s not like I told her I dabble with street drugs or collect my own fingernail clippings or something. It was hardly weird to be vibratorless. Was it?

I shrugged.

“Shut the fuck up. How old are you?”

“Thirty-two.”

“You made it to thirty-two years old and have never known the beautiful joy of a vibrator. We are fixing this right now.”

Nora pulled out her phone and started furiously scrolling.

“What are you doing?” I whispered, fearing her response.

She raised one finger and I sat quietly.

“Hmmm,” she said, not looking up from her phone. “What’s your mailing address?”

I frowned at her.

“Either give it to me or I’m sending your present to Declan’s house.”

I looked around, trying to see if anyone had overheard our conversation. With my luck, Declan’s mom would be standing there listening.

“Don’t you dare.” I whispered the address of the cottage and prayed she wasn’t sending me sex toys.

She put her phone down, looking satisfied. “All set. You are my friend, and I will not allow you to have subpar orgasms any longer.”

I stared at her. Did this woman just send me a vibrator?

“Trust me. Give this a try. Plus, a little battery-operated relief will keep you in control around Declan. You won’t prematurely jump his bones if you are feeling satisfied. If you want to wait, you should be able to wait until you’re ready.”

I hated to admit it but she had a point. I respected a well-crafted argument and rock-solid logic. She also clearly cared about me, and that was a new feeling.

“Thanks,” I said tentatively. “But I’m not a very sexual person.”

She laughed. “Not possible. Orgasms are incredible and make life worth living. You need stress relief and you deserve the absolute best you can get. And you should not be depending on a man to deliver on that front.”

I nodded, a bit dumbstruck by her.

“Plus. Taking charge of your own pleasure is a feminist act. You don’t need a penis. You can take care of yourself.”

She had a point. And it’s not like I had been getting a lot of action recently. “Trust me, the guys I’ve been with have been underwhelming in that department.”

“Don’t worry. This will do the trick. At least until you are ready for Declan.” She winked at me. “You will be good for him, I can tell.”

“Thanks.” I blushed slightly. Deep down I wanted to be good for him and knew I could be.

But this was fake, not real. We were fake dating and eventually I’d have to go back to my old life.

I couldn’t help that I may have had a teeny crush on him.

He was a both a certifiable sex god and unbelievably kind.

It’s like she was reading my mind. “So what happens when you go back to Boston?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” We would break up. Of course we would. This wasn’t even a real relationship. I shouldn’t have agreed to this. The whole situation was extremely confusing. I liked clear goals and outcomes. This was already too messy for me.

I was going back to my firm. I was going back to my career.

And, if for some reason that didn’t work out, then I would start over at another firm.

Once I did that there would be no time and no energy for a relationship, especially for someone like Declan.

He was intense and generous and wonderful.

He wouldn’t want a girlfriend he saw once a month.

He deserved someone who could give herself to him entirely.

“You are my friend, and I want you to have everything you want, okay? If that’s Declan, great. If that’s going back to that shithole law firm, that’s great too. But don’t forget about Havenport when you leave. We will all miss you.”

We sat and chatted and ate and people watched.

It was incredible. At this moment I regretted giving up on therapy.

I wanted to reach out to Dr. Martha and beg her to help me.

I wanted to tell her everything about Max and my cold dismissal from the firm, and Havenport, and Declan and my new friends.

I wanted her to help me figure this all out.

I was feeling so many things, and for the first time in my life, my path was unclear.