Page 131 of The Havenport Collection

Violet

A fter finally getting the boys to bed, I was looking forward to hanging out by the fire with Rose and Yael. Rose had texted me earlier that she had a rough day at work and needed to kick back, and I was all too happy to join her.

After putting the boys to bed for the third time, with multiple hugs, kisses, and books, I finally crept downstairs where my mom was cleaning up after dinner.

“You feeling okay, Mom?” I asked. She was so positive all the time, it was hard to tell how she was faring with her treatment.

I put my arm around her shoulders. “I’m great, sweetie. I am so thrilled the boys are thriving in kindergarten. I remember when I sent you off, I was so nervous.”

This was classic Mom—deflect and redirect.

“Mom, I want to know how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine. It’s just radiation. It’s not a big deal.”

“Of course it is, Mom. It’s a huge deal.

” My mom was a classic underreactor. She was always cool, always calm, and always levelheaded.

She never raised her voice, got upset, or fought with anyone.

She was a wonderful person, but sometimes her “everything’s all good” attitude irked the shit out of me.

“I know, okay. I know I have cancer.” I wrapped my arms around her. She had always been small, but she was feeling especially frail. I hugged her tightly. “But it won’t kill me. It’s just radiation and surgery, sweetie, only stage one. Do you know how lucky I am?”

“I know, Mom, but I am still so scared.”

She hugged me harder. “This is nothing. What your father went through, it was so terrible.” She started to cry, and I held her close. “It was terrible. The treatments drained the life out of him. He was in so much pain, and he worked too hard to hide it from everyone, to keep his spirits up.”

Growing up, I was always so embarrassed by my parents.

They were so in love and into one another.

They would show up to school events and hold hands and sneak kisses when they thought we weren’t looking.

It grossed me out as a teen, but now, as an adult with one failed marriage under my belt, I admired the hell out of them.

They didn’t have an easy road, but they loved and supported each other every single day.

It had been almost two years, and my mom was still hurting so badly.

I wished I could make it better, but all I could do was hold her while she cried.

“I miss him so much, Mom. Will it get easier?”

“Probably not.”

We stood there for a few minutes, just listening to the music and remembering Dad. She hadn’t been the same since he died, and I doubted she ever would be.

We cleaned up the kitchen in silence, and I heated up the kettle.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about my house.” My mom had talked for the past year about building herself a small home on the property so she could be close and downsize. My parents were always adamant that this was my house and my farm, despite my protests.

“Mom, this is your home, your house.”

“No, it’s not, sweetie. It’s yours. And Henry’s and Sam’s. This house was built for a family and needs a family to enjoy it. What do I need with a house this big?”

She busied herself drying pots. “Your dad and I always dreamed about our retirement cottage. He always wanted you to come back here with your family. It was our dream, to have you and Rose here, running things, while we got to love on the grandkids and watch you two blossom.”

She wiped away another tear.

“I love living with you and the boys, but you need space too, sweetie.” She raised her eyebrows, as if asking me a silent question.

“What are you talking about, Mom?”

“At some point, you will have a serious relationship, and I want you to be able to welcome someone into this home. It’s yours. And you should feel comfortable.”

This was typical Mom, dancing around issues with the grace of a prima ballerina.

“Mom, I’m not dating anyone, nor do I have any intention to. Plus, it would have to be pretty serious to have this person around my kids, so I don’t see this happening anytime soon.”

“Oh really?” She raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yes.”

“I think you’re being obtuse, Violet. You always did like to avoid confrontation. Callum Quinn is clearly in love with you.”

“Mom!” I shouted, momentarily forgetting that my kids were asleep upstairs. “That’s insane. Callum is just my friend.” I felt a bit ashamed lying to her, since what he did to me in the barn wasn’t strictly friendly, but I was going to file it in the friend drawer for the time being.

She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re not fooling me, Violet. When you came home the other night you had hay in your hair.” I blushed deeply. “You both have feelings for each other. Just act on them already.”

“Mom. You are ridiculous. Is this just some more small-town gossip?”

She looked slightly embarrassed. “There has been some talk around town.”

I swear, once the over-fifty population got smartphones, we were sunk. Everyone in Havenport knows everything about everyone.

She grabbed my hand. “Violet. I was married to your father for thirty-nine years. And I loved him and still love him.” She got teary-eyed. “You owe it to yourself to take a chance and embrace what you have with Callum.”

I stood there, trying to compose myself. I didn’t want to yell at my mom, but the feelings swirling around in my head were confusing me. I wanted things I wasn’t supposed to want.

“Where did my open-hearted girl go? The girl who loved all things with abandon? Who slept in the turkey pen to keep them from slaughter? Who befriended every barn cat, even the nasty ones? The woman who traveled the world, seeking experiences and education? When did you get so closed off?”

Now she was just being cruel. “I don’t know, Mom, maybe when my ex-husband cheated on me and went to prison, and I inherited the troubled family farm after the tragic death of my beloved father.” Tears stung my eyes, and I wanted to run up to my room and slam the door.

I was being a petulant brat, but I couldn’t help it.

I wasn’t that person anymore. I had to be steely and pragmatic.

I couldn’t just follow my heart’s whims. I was a mom, and a small business owner, and the ex-wife of a fucking felon.

It was too much sometimes. And now my mom was pushing me to admit my feelings for Callum?

I couldn’t even allow myself to go there.

I excused myself, grabbed a bottle of red, and headed out to the fire.

“What’s up your ass?” Rose asked, never taking her eyes off the fire. Her legs were draped over the side of her Adirondack chair, and her auburn hair was uncharacteristically loose.

“I got in an argument with Mom.” I plopped down in my usual chair and took a sip of wine straight from the bottle.

“About what?”

“Callum.”

She rubbed her hands together gleefully. “Oh really? You guys hooked up then? Are you dating?”

“Yes, we hooked up. But no, we’re not dating, and he’s not in love with me. I swear, Mom spends too much time gossiping with her friends.”

Yael nodded. “The old lady network is powerful. They have eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Truth,” Rose said, raising her glass.

“So you hooked up?” Yael asked, inching her chair closer to mine. She was such a gossip hound. “Kissed?”

“We kissed at the Patriot’s Homecoming fireworks.”

“What? And you didn’t tell us?”

I smiled, reliving the incredible moment. “We went behind the tree and were watching the fireworks, and then he kissed me.”

“That is so fucking romantic.”

“It was a lot like our first kiss back in high school.”

Yael feigned a swoon. “This is like a Hallmark movie.”

I almost spit out my wine. “Not exactly.” I then proceeded to fill them in on what had happened in the barn. “It’s a lot racier than a Hallmark movie.”

Rose stared at me with wide eyes. “So why aren’t you dating? You like him, and he apparently goes down like a champ. I’m not following.”

“Because I can’t date anyone. My life is in shambles and I’m barely holding everything together. There is no time. Plus, Callum Quinn is Havenport’s most eligible bachelor. When things go sideways, I won’t be able to get a cup of coffee in this town.”

“Why do you think that it would go sideways?”

“Callum Quinn is not my soulmate.”

Rose sat up in her chair and looked at me skeptically.

“First, you don’t know that, and second, do you even believe in soulmates?

” She comically slapped her forehead. “Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to. Of course you do. Should we get the tarot cards and do a reading?” Rose tended to sneer at my new age habits, and normally I didn’t mind, but tonight everything was pissing me off.

I took another slug of wine and stuck my tongue out at her.

“No, I don’t. I used to. But not anymore.

” Those kinds of naive beliefs are what got me in trouble in the first place.

Meeting Sebastian and marrying him a month later.

Traveling and flitting from job to job with no real career to fall back on.

Giving everything up when I had the twins and trusting my husband to be faithful and take care of us.

“That shit bit me in the ass. And I’m not making the same mistake twice. ”

Yael eyed me cautiously. “This,”—she waved her hand in my direction—“jaded persona, it’s not you. It doesn’t fit.” I kept drinking. I was not in the mood to be psychoanalyzed. Hopefully they would get the message.

Of course, that was impossible. “You know your problem?” my sister pressed.

“I don’t, Rose. Why don’t you tell me?” Rose and I fought a lot growing up. I tended not to be a particularly combative person, except with my sister. No one could get under my skin like she could. No one could push my buttons—and she knew my buttons—like she could.

“You’re looking for an excuse.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Violet. You are making excuses right now.”

Yael nodded at Rose. “Excuses are lies of mediocrity.” She was like a broken record sometimes with her motivational phrases.

“Guys, I just don’t want to talk right now. I need to process and enjoy this wine. Okay?”

Thankfully, Rose did know when to back off. “Got it. But we’re here for you.”

I patted her hand. “I know, thank you.”

“And we have our road trip to look forward to,” Yael said. She was a notorious lover of road trips.

I nodded. I was looking forward to getting some time away. Rose had come up with the idea to take the kids up to Storyland for the weekend, and I jumped at the opportunity for a change of scenery.

Storyland was a small theme park in northern New Hampshire.

When we were kids, our parents took us there every summer, and we loved it.

There were rides and shows and attractions.

My dad would patiently wait in line with us for every ride and buy us tons of cotton candy to keep us occupied.

We always stayed at a tiny roadside motel off the highway that had a huge pool.

After a long day chasing us across a theme park, my dad would be doing cannonballs until late at night to our endless delight.

I hadn’t even thought about it in years, but apparently Rose’s girls loved it, and she wanted to take them again before they started to think it was lame. I wanted to take the boys and share a small piece of my childhood with them.

Plus, it would be nice to get off the farm.

We had been working around the clock on wedding prep, and weekends were brutal.

It took some coordination, but thankfully, Frankie had started and had volunteered to help with the farmers’ market.

We would be back Sunday afternoon, so the kids would be ready for school on Monday.

It was just what I needed. To get away from this farm, the wedding preparation, and most of all, the allure of Callum Quinn.