Page 130 of The Havenport Collection

Callum

A s t he sun rose over the harbor, my lungs burned. We were hauling ass up River Street, and I was struggling. I’d be thirty-seven in a few months, and more and more, I was feeling my age.

We made it to the top of the hill and slowed to a jog.

“So. What happened?” Trent asked, trying to catch his breath. “Something is up with you. You look giddy right now.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I was tying myself in knots over Violet and didn’t know what to do.

He gave me an exaggerated eye roll. “Fine, don’t. I like to run in silence, anyway, bro.”

I punched him in the arm. Trent was shorter than me, but pretty strong.

He and I had been working out a lot together since my brothers were too busy with their women to hit the gym.

Trent would never say it—he was way too positive a person—but I got the sense he was feeling a bit left out too.

Liam had been his best friend since kindergarten, and while I knew Cece always tried to include everyone, he had been feeling like a bit of a third wheel.

So we found ourselves spending more and more time together.

I love Trent like a third younger brother and enjoyed kicking his ass on our runs together.

We picked up the pace again, and I turned around to see Trent smiling.

Trent was always smiling. I didn’t know the full details, but I knew he had a rough childhood after losing his mom to cancer and winding up in foster care.

But you would never know it from talking to him.

He was one of the most upbeat, positive people I had ever met.

He was also the unofficial fourth Quinn brother and had been since childhood.

Trent loved my parents, truly loved them.

Particularly my mom. Growing up, she always looked out for Trent, making sure he had everything he needed and stepping in when he didn’t.

My dad had always taken him fishing with us and imparted his life lessons.

The Captain could be a bit domineering, but Trent adored him and all his old navy stories.

“How are classes going?” I asked, trying to steer the subject away from me and Violet.

“Pretty good. Calculus is killing me this semester. I like math, but this is next level.”

“Let me know if I can help. Okay?”

He nodded. Trent was going to college part time while he worked for Liam at the brewery.

My parents had helped get him into vocational school after college where he studied mechanics.

But he dreamed of getting his four-year degree.

He was balancing business classes with his full-time work at the brewery and still managed to volunteer as a mentor to local foster kids.

“I gotta say, I love going to campus. I like the online classes, but it’s not the same. Going to campus and sitting there, taking notes. Being a student. Even at thirty-three years old, it just feels good. I never got to do that, and it feels really special.”

I felt momentarily guilty. Here I was, a depressed wreck, and Trent, who had genuinely had a hard life, was just walking on sunshine. I took my fancy education for granted every day, and I hated myself a little bit right now.

“How do you do it?” I asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“Stay so fucking positive.”

He shrugged. “I just am. I’ve never had a lot, so I had to learn to be grateful for what I did have.

People are important to me. As long as I have my people, I’m good.

And college, it was never even on the radar for me growing up.

I didn’t think it was possible. And now, getting to go to campus and attend classes and shit? I even enjoy exams.”

I smiled. He really had such an incredible way about him. “I admire you.”

He smiled, a huge toothy grin. “I admire you back, bro. Always have. You were the guy. You are the guy. You know, the one we all aspire to be.”

I pushed him. “Don’t say that.”

“I mean it. You are smart and good-looking and athletic. And you are kind and fun. You were always a role model to me.”

“Now you’re going to make me cry,” I said sarcastically, trying to hide just how touched I was by his words.

I needed to change the subject and fast. “Are you still dating that woman you met at the brewery?” Trent was a stealth player.

He wasn’t showy and never talked about his personal life, but it was common knowledge that he dated a fair amount.

He was handsome and sweet, and his charm and charisma just oozed out of his pores.

It wasn’t surprising that he had lots of options.

“Janie? Broke it off with her. She was nice and fun. But it wasn’t serious.”

“Are you looking for serious?”

“Not sure. I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because there is someone. Someone perfect and amazing, but she’s with someone else. So I need to get over it and move on. I’ve met so many wonderful women—don’t get me wrong—but no one I’ve wanted to get serious with.”

“Who is it?” I thought I knew Trent pretty well. He kept this locked up tight.

“I don’t want to say, man. It’s not a thing. Never will be.”

“If you say so.” My interest was piqued. There was no shortage of possibilities. Trent was the type that stayed friends with all his exes. He was just so damn nice.

“Didn’t one of your exes just get married?” I asked.

“Yup. I actually introduced her to her husband.”

“How did you do that?”

“You know Rick? He’s a fireman in town.”

I nodded. We had gone to school together.

“I found out Rick is really into D&D and role player games and that stuff. And I dated Liz for a while, and I knew she was super into that scene. So I set them up. And they had a really fun wedding. I was a groomsman.”

“I wish I had your happy-go-lucky attitude. Becca invited me to her wedding, and I’ve been freaking out.”

Trent stopped running, sensing the seriousness of this statement. “Your mom may try to curse her again.”

I shuddered. During one town festival, my mom asked Madam Chloe, our town psychic who always sets up her table in the town square, to put a curse on Becca. Although I found it hard to believe that Chloe actually possessed mystical powers, I wasn’t about to take the chance.

“Violet offered to come with me.”

“Of course she did.”

“With does that mean?”

“Just that she seems like a cool chick who sees through your perfect Callum Quinn facade and knows you need this. I like her for you.”

I ignored his comment and picked up the pace, causing him to trail behind. I was torn between wanting to talk about Violet and not wanting to even think about that mess right now. My feelings were all over the place, and I was flailing.

“So tell me. What’s tying you in knots right now? Cause I can see it on your face. We have seven miles to go, so you might as well tell me. I’m a good listener.”

“I hooked up with Violet.”

“Finally,” he said, pumping his fist.

“Hey!”

“We were all betting when it was going to happen. You two were eye fucking each other across Declan’s backyard during the fireworks.”

I ignored that comment and kept running.

“Are you together now? Or is this just a casual thing?”

“I don’t know.”

“How did you leave things?”

“We were, um, interrupted. There was an emergency with one of her kids. So I left and came home.”

“And then?”

“A few flirty texts, but I don’t know where I stand.”

“Then man up and talk to her. What do you want?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit. I think you’re just too chicken to say it out loud.”

I stopped running and started walking, putting my hands on my hips. Twelve miles was probably not going to happen today if I was already this tired.

“I want everything with her.”

“What does that mean?”

“I want a partner. I want a family. I want a warm and loving home. And I’m terrified because I think I might want those things with Violet.”

“And her kids?”

“Of course her kids. They are awesome little dudes.”

“Because it’s all or nothing with a single mom.”

“I know that. Which is why I’m freaking out.”

“Don’t. I think you’re ready for this. After all the Becca drama and the millions of dates you’ve been on, you are so ready for the next step.”

“But it’s not about being ready, it’s about whether or not I can do it.

” I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling so conflicted.

I wanted nothing more than to be the kind of man Violet and her kids needed.

But I feared I simply wasn't capable. I had let Becca down and let myself down dozens of times, and I couldn't do that to Violet or her sons.

“Of course you can do it. You are Callum Quinn. You can do anything.”

“It’s not that simple. Violet has been through a lot, and her kids have been through a lot. What if I can’t give them what they deserve? What if I’m not cut out for it?”

“I think you’re getting really far ahead of yourself right now.”

I was. I knew that logically. But that’s the fun thing about anxiety—it didn’t give a shit about logic. My stomach lurched even thinking about it—disappointing Violet, or Sam, or Henry. Not being good enough for them.

“Did she say what she wanted?”

“She said she just wants to keep things casual. She can’t get involved with anyone because of the farm and the kids.”

“Are you good with casual?”

“No. I’m not. I want a real shot with her.

But I don’t know how to proceed. Dating is hard because of the kids, but also because she is so different than anyone I’ve ever dated before.

I could take her to the fanciest place in Boston, and she wouldn’t care.

” She didn’t care about any of that stuff, and it was partially why I found her so refreshing.

“So you have to show her you are serious. What can you give her that she can’t get anywhere else?”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not that.”

I thought for a moment. “She’s just overwhelmed all the time. There is so much on her plate. And she gives all of herself to her kids and the farm and her employees.”

“So figure out what she needs and give it to her. It doesn’t have to cost money. Sometimes people just want to be seen.”

Violet needed a lot. She needed to understand that she had the tools to succeed.

She just needed a push. And she needed to understand that she had a lot of support.

She needed a chance to be the boss—on her own terms. She was preoccupied with how her dad had done things.

And she was thinking backwards, obsessing about old records and how things have been instead of how they will be.

I needed to help her move forward and empower her to do it her way on her terms. The wheels in my head started to turn, and an idea took shape.

I knew what I could do to help Violet and also show her I was serious about her, that I wasn’t going to settle for some fuck-buddy relationship. I was going to show her I wanted it all.

I grabbed my phone and furiously started typing. If I was going to pull this off, I would need a lot of help.