Page 248 of The Havenport Collection

Eliza

B y the time Matteo came downstairs from tucking in Val, I had gone back and finished cleaning the kitchen and was giving the countertops a final wipedown.

He walked in holding his laptop and wearing his glasses. I froze, staring at him, taking in how some glass and steel made him even hotter. I should have never stayed for dinner. I should have gone home. I stupidly wanted to spend more time with Matteo, and now my stupid heart was aching.

I distracted myself by cleaning up Val’s homework, tucking each worksheet into the corresponding folders and putting them in her backpack. Then I opened the front pocket, just to check that her rescue inhaler was in there.

“I should get going.”

He set his laptop down and shoved his hands in his pockets. We stood there staring at each other for a moment before he spoke. “Thank you. For what you said to Val earlier.”

“You heard?” Was he eavesdropping on us?

He shrugged. “Bits and pieces. But it means a lot. She struggles sometimes with the toll her health takes on her life.”

“I understand. And she is an amazing kid.”

We stood awkwardly for another moment before he took a step forward, closing the gap between us.

He ran his hands through his hair—God, I loved that hair—and sighed. “Eliza, I’m dying over here, seeing you and not being able to touch you. It’s killing me.”

My pulse quickened. It was killing me too. Not that I would give him the satisfaction of knowing that. I wanted to jump into his arms, kiss him senseless, and never let go. But I wasn’t going to do that. I wasn’t going to throw myself at another guy who would just disappoint me and let me down.

I let him continue, unable to say anything in response. “And I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to spend all my time with you. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to tell you how much I care about you.”

I fiddled with the hem of my sweatshirt, avoiding his gaze. Stay strong, Eliza. Stay strong.

“I’m a lot to take on. So I want you to stop and think.

Think about what you want. Because I come with baggage.

In addition to my daughter, I’ve got my business, my family, and the fact that I’m older.

I’ve been around long enough to know that the type of connection we share just doesn’t come along very often.

But I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to have you and keep all the other stuff in my life going. ”

My heart swelled. I looked up at him and reached out, cupping his cheek. “I don’t know either.”

He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, holding me firmly against his chest.

“But I don’t want to lose you. I’m selfish.”

How could I be brave when he was standing there looking like he was desperate for me? As if he wasn’t already stupidly sexy, then he had to wear those damn glasses. My panties were evaporating as I stood in the kitchen. I had to summon all my inner strength for this conversation.

“Can you not do that?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“Look so muscly and hot. It’s distracting.”

He smirked. “Say what you need to say, Eliza.” Oof. His stern tone was making this even more difficult.

I took a deep breath. It was truth time. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

He leaned down and kissed me softly. It was barely a taste, and I wanted so much more.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him again, and the dam broke.

He lifted me up onto the counter and kissed me with everything he had.

Weeks of restraint, weeks of longing, all poured into this kiss.

I wrapped my legs around him, feeling his arousal and reveling in his touch.

He pulled back, panting. “Sorry. We should probably talk first.” I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to jump his bones. He gave me an appetizer in that alley, and I was ready for the main course.

He gently placed me back on the floor, and I wasn’t sure my legs would hold my weight. I had been struck dumb by his passion.

“Do you want to stay and talk for a while?” he asked sheepishly. “I’ll open some wine. I can put the fire on.”

I nodded. I wanted to stay here in his kitchen, wrapped in his strong, inked arms forever, but I supposed the couch would do too, as long as we got naked at some point. I was a woman with needs, after all.

He led me to the living room, where he switched on the gas fireplace and fetched a fancy looking bottle of wine.

“My brother Gio,” he said, twisting the cork out, “is a wine guy. He buys for one of the major distributors, so when he’s not busting my balls, he gives me the good stuff.”

He decanted the wine and sat down next to me, pulling me close. He smelled amazing, all masculine and clean. My thoughts were buzzing. What did this all mean? Should I leave? Should I stay? My brain was in overdrive, and no amount of wine and snuggles would calm it right now.

He leaned forward and kissed me, as if he could sense me spinning out and knew his lips would anchor me back down to earth.

Because that’s what kissing Matteo did—it quieted my mind and made the world go still.

When he was kissing me or touching me, nothing else existed.

My mind quieted, my limbs stopped fidgeting, and I could just be in the moment.

I pulled back, examining his face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I sensed you freaking out a bit and just needed to kiss you.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “I needed to remind myself that you’re here and you’re real.”

I nodded, unsure of what to say. “I want to get to know you, Eliza.” He looked so delicious and sweet, far from the normal grump facade. And as much as my instincts were screaming at me to flee before things went too far, I sat back and let him hand me a glass of fancy wine.

“Do you need to charge your phone?” he asked. “I still have the charger I got for you in the kitchen.”

I silently cursed myself for not charging it myself. I probably seemed like a child to him. “Yeah,” I admitted as I cringed internally and got up to plug it in.

By the time I returned, he was sitting on the couch, swirling his wine and looking more delicious than ever. “So you grew up with my cousins and live with Gina?” Okay, I guess we were switching to the getting to know you part of the evening.

I nodded, letting myself sink into the couch. “Yes. Gina and I have been friends since grade school, and I spent a ton of time with Carlo and Chiara too. I knew of you growing up, but you were ahead of me in school.”

“Ahead of you in school?” He snorted. “I’m twelve years older. When you were in kindergarten, I was graduating from high school.”

I punched him gently. “Ew. When you put it like that, you really are a perv.”

He pulled me in toward his warm, strong chest, kissing my temple and holding me close.

It felt good. Strange, but good, to be in his arms. We chatted for a few minutes about Val, his restaurant, and my job search.

But something felt different. The way he was looking at me, it was so intense, I could barely meet his eye.

He leaned in and gently kissed my neck. I had to make a conscious effort not to moan loudly. Being so close to him was making it more and more difficult to relax. My body kept having sex flashbacks to the lifeguard tower. To his body and his voice and the way he made me feel.

I couldn’t understand it, but being with him felt right. His lips trailed across my collarbones, and my body lit up with white-hot lust.

“I want you so much.”

His lips were making me dizzy. I could barely speak.

“But I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I’m comfortable,” I said.

“I want this, Eliza. I want us. But…” he trailed off and I pushed him back.

“But what?”

“But I am afraid of Val getting hurt; she’s been through so much. I know I should let you go, but I can’t.”

I nodded, unsure of what to say.

“And I feel like my back is up against a wall right now. My ex is breathing down my neck, threatening to sue for custody, and I feel like I am one tiny mistake from my entire life falling apart.”

I looked at him, grateful that he was being honest and vulnerable with me, but also a little scared of how big my feelings were. “I can’t let you go either. Can’t we just take it slow?”

He started kissing my collarbone again. “I like slow.”

“Let’s see where things go. Don’t get ahead of yourself, old man.”

He chuckled. “What do you think about keeping things quiet? Then we don’t have to explain things to Val yet, and I don’t have to worry about the entire town and my ex knowing our business.”

“Sure.” I wasn’t sure about that actually, but since he had found that secret spot on my neck that drives me wild, I was not in the mood to debate that at the moment.

“Because I want you to be mine, Eliza. All mine.”

“Yes,” I whispered as his fingers deftly teased at the waistband of my leggings. “I want to be yours.”

“Do you want to come upstairs?” His eyes were molten and his jaw clenched. I was so overcome with lust I could only nod in response.

“I can’t not want you,” he said, leading me up the stairs. He tiptoed past Val’s room and headed to the master bedroom. He gestured for me to go inside and then softly locked the door.

I didn’t even have a moment to take in my surroundings before he pounced on me, kissing me and forcefully grabbing my ass. “I’m so sorry,” he said, kissing my collarbone. “Please forgive me.”

I moaned softly, my body responding to his needy touch. “I just want you, Matteo.”

“I was so jealous when I saw you on Sunday. It made me crazy.”

“There is nothing to be jealous of. Ryan is ancient history.”

“He was touching you. I wanted to punch him.”

I cupped his cheek and stared into his dark eyes. “No need. I don’t even like him. I only want you.”

“Good.” He grunted, picking me up and tossing me onto his king-sized bed. It possessed a minimal amount of pillows, and like everything in Matteo’s house, it was meticulous.

He lifted my T-shirt over my head, never taking his lips from my skin. “Because I will make sure you never even think about that guy again. You are mine now, and I intend to show you how serious I am.”

I squirmed beneath him as he pulled down my bra cups. “You pushed me away,” I said, interrupting him worshipping my breasts. “You said it couldn’t happen again.”

He stopped kissing me and stared deeply into my eyes. “I fucked up. And that’s what will never happen again. I know now that I crave you, Eliza. I need to see you, to speak to you, to hear your gorgeous laugh. And this body—I need it more than I need to breathe right now.”

I lifted my hips as he pulled my leggings down, my body vibrating with need.

“So you’re going to be a good girl and ride my face while I say sorry the best way I know how.”

And he did. He apologized several times, so vigorously that when I woke at five a.m. to sneak out before Val woke up, I found myself pleasantly sore.

Matteo wasn’t perfect and neither was I. But together, we were something. And sneaking out was kind of hot. If we had to exist in a secret sexy bubble for a few weeks, that was fine by me. At this point, I was too orgasm drunk to care.