Page 261 of The Havenport Collection

Matteo

O peration Grovel had taken on a life of its own.

Nora, in typical Nora fashion, had recruited most of the town to help me out, sharing my emotional immaturity and heartache with anyone who would listen.

I got a lot of pitying looks and unsolicited love advice from various people.

I had been hiding in the kitchen for the last week, because everyone who came into my restaurant seemed to have an opinion on my love life.

On the plus side, my feelings for Eliza were no longer a secret, because everyone and their dog knew I was pining away for her while she refused to speak to me.

I had heard from Nora that she had started her new job at the Family Medicine Clinic in town, and I was super proud of her.

I knew how much she disliked the hospital, and I bet she loved the hours and the lower stress atmosphere.

Valentina, ever the loyal daughter, had offered to fake sick so I would have to take her in for a checkup, but even I drew the line there.

I was pathetic but trying to at least have some dignity.

I couldn’t use my kid as a prop to get her attention.

Right now, I was just trying to get her to talk to me.

My texts went unanswered, so we moved to phase two of the plan— gifts.

I had been sending flowers—daisies, which I knew were her favorites—every few days and had even resorted to delivering handmade cannoli to Gina, who was angry at me but accepted the goodies anyway.

Val had suggested I write Eliza a letter, so I tried that next, pouring my heart out on the page, even though it was the most unnatural thing I had ever done.

I wasn’t exactly a verbose guy, and it was physically painful to write some of these things, but I gotta say, I felt better after. And that was something.

After delivering the letter with a tray of eggplant parmigiana I finally got a response.

Eliza: Thank you for all the food and flowers. You really don’t have to.

Matteo: It’s the least I can do.

I waited, hoping for some kind of response. When nothing happened, I decided to push forward.

Matteo: I’d love to be able to apologize in person. I know you don’t want to see me, and that’s fine. But I’d like the opportunity to at least say sorry to your face.

I waited, hoping she would at least give me a chance.

The three dots appeared, and my breath hitched.

Eliza: Starboard Park. Tomorrow noon.

Matteo: I’ll be there.

I stood in the park, waiting for her to arrive.

I was so nervous I wanted to throw up. The weather was beautiful, and the ocean views were unbeatable.

Nearby, toddlers shrieked while going down the slide, and dogs ran freely in their fenced-in area.

I took a deep breath. It felt good to be outside, breathing in the fresh air.

So often, I was holed up in my kitchen or doing work at my house, and I rarely stopped to enjoy the fact that I lived in this beautiful place.

I sat on a bench and stared out at the ocean, feeling a sense of calm wash over me.

“Matteo?” I turned around and saw Eliza. She looked beautiful, as always, and was wearing hot pink scrubs. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing her clogs.

“Going to work?”

“Yes. Shift starts in an hour.”

“Have a seat.”

She eyed me suspiciously and sat down.

“Say what you need to say,” she said coolly.

I shifted uncomfortably, trying to summon the courage to lay myself bare.

“I’m sorry,” I said, pausing to watch her face, which was stony.

“I am ashamed of how I acted and the way I treated you. The truth is, I am in love with you, Eliza, and it scared the shit out of me. It scared me because you make me want things—things I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have. Things I don’t think I deserve.”

“Keep talking.”

“You’re amazing, beautiful, smart, and kind.

You’re also wickedly funny and breathe life into everything around you, including me.

Instead of letting our relationship develop on its own terms, I tried to control everything, getting in my own head and convincing myself I couldn’t give you what you needed. ”

“That’s bullshit, Matteo. You don’t get to decide what I need.” I was encouraged by her response. At least she was hearing me. And passion was a good thing, right?

“Yes. It is. I had no right to put expectations on us and make unilateral decisions. I was wrong. I was so obsessed with messing things up, with failing, that I convinced myself not to try. And I regret it so much. Because all I want to do is try.”

I pressed on while I had her attention. “I realized a long time ago that I was missing something in my life. Partnership. And you came along, offering everything I’ve ever wanted, and I panicked.

I’ve been doing everything on my own for so long, I didn’t even realize how I was pushing you away and sabotaging our relationship. ”

She looked at me, tears pooling in her eyes.

“You really hurt me.”

“I know. Trust me. And I hurt myself, and I hurt Val. I did the very thing I was trying to avoid.”

She stood up and gave me a forced smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

“Eliza.” I reached out and grabbed her hand. “I want a second chance. I want to earn your forgiveness.”

She continued to hold my hand. “I appreciate that. And I will think about it.”

My heart surged. She would think about it! That was so much more than I had allowed myself to hope for.

“And while you did hurt me, Matteo, you also taught me a really important lesson. I learned what I want in life and in a partner.

“For years, I have underestimated my worth, desperate for validation from everything around me—my job, my family, my friends, and men. But I realized something. I am fucking awesome. I have so much to offer, and I’m not settling for anything less than I deserve ever again.

I have to take care of myself and my needs before I can think about anyone else.

I let myself get so wrapped up in you, I neglected myself. And I’m not doing that again.”

“I am proud of you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t need your approval.”

“Of course not.”

She gently pulled her hand away. “I’ve got to get to work, but I appreciate your apology.”

“Thank you. I understand.”

“Say hi to Val for me. I miss her.”

I nodded and waved as she headed back to the parking lot.

I slumped back on the bench. That had been somewhat productive. I hated that I caused her so much pain—pain I could see in her eyes. But I was proud of her, and if my shitty behavior helped her realize her worth, then maybe it wasn’t a total waste.

I whipped my phone out, eager to text Nora and Gio about my progress. It was time to move into phase three.