Page 40 of The Havenport Collection

Maggie and Josh had met at Boston College freshman orientation.

They were both Pre-Med and hyper-competitive students.

They were inseparable best friends while acing every test and nailing every lab report and being all around awesome.

Josh didn’t get up the courage to ask her out until sophomore year and then they became that couple.

The beautiful, accomplished couple who were so outrageously in love you wanted to vomit.

After graduation they both got accepted to medical school and immediately got married.

When I was younger I used to go to bed praying every night I would meet a guy who looked at me the way Josh looked at Maggie.

I loved my sister and I loved my brother-in-law, and it broke my heart to think of their family breaking up.

I chose my words carefully, as Maggie’s tears flowed freely. “Okay. So it’s gone for now. But could it come back?”

She blew her nose. “I mean, I’d like to say yes, it could. But I don’t know. How do you get it back? Is that even realistic?”

“Don’t look at me, I have never had a successful relationship. What does he want to do?”

“He wants to be separated and co-parent while we figure things out.”

“What do you want to do?”

She paused and thought for a moment. “I think I want to get divorced so I can resume my life without disruption. Because he is right. We can’t go back to the way things were for the past few years.

Looking at it now, it sucked. We weren’t married, we were colleagues who were raising kids and sleeping in the same bed. ”

I looked at my sister. While still beautiful and more put together than I would ever be, she looked so defeated.

As she stared into her coffee cup, I could see how the years had worn on her.

She delayed starting medical school when she got unexpectedly pregnant with Ava.

She had planned to go back but then ended up enrolling in a two-year nurse practitioner program so that she could support Josh through his grueling residency.

She had built an incredible career for herself, but I could see the years of sacrifice in her slumped shoulders and tired eyes.

I held her hand. “Mags, I don’t believe you. You don’t have to be tough, perfect Maggie for me. You can be honest.”

She sighed and looked at me skeptically.

I could tell it was a struggle for her to take off the mask of perfection.

“I don’t want to get divorced. I want my husband back.

I want my life and my happy family back.

I just don’t know where it went. And I can’t even pinpoint when it left.

Everything is a weird blur right now. It feels like getting divorced is inevitable at this point. ”

“Divorce isn’t inevitable. Maybe there is a way forward that is better?”

She shot me a strange look. “When did you become such an optimist? A romantic?”

“I’m not. I’m just being your sister, and I can help.”

“You already admitted you know nothing about relationships.”

“Yes. But what I lack in practical knowledge I make up for in sarcasm and wine. And love for my big sis.” I pulled her into a hug.

“Maggie, I am a realist. You and Josh are both amazing people who love those two kiddos more than anything on earth. I am your sister and I am on your team no matter what. I love you, and I know the past few years have been weird but I am here now for whatever you need.”

She started to sob into my shoulder, and I held her tighter. “I love you.”

I started to cry as well. “I love you too.”

We sat, crying and hugging for a few minutes. It felt good, cathartic even. Our lives were in disarray, but we had each other, and that made me feel a lot better.

“Seriously,” she said, wiping her eyes, “I love having you back in Havenport. And the kids love it too. We were apart for so long.”

“I know. I love seeing them grow up.”

“Do you enjoy being back?”

“I do, actually. I feel more like myself these days.” And it was true.

I had spent years being miserable and didn’t even realize it.

My life was filled with some things I didn’t care about and a few things I actively disliked.

It was like I had been asleep for the past decade.

It took crash landing in Havenport and sleeping in my childhood bedroom to finally wake up.

Since being here I had reconnected with my family, friends, and community, found a random but exciting new job, rediscovered yoga, cooked some fabulous meals with my mother, and had actually been chipping away at my reading list. I couldn’t remember the last time in my city life I had sat down to read a book.

“I know you are planning to leave, but maybe you could stay?” She looked at me, her tear stained face full of hope.

Her question hit me like an arrow to the heart. The longer I stayed, the more I felt like I belonged here. Like people needed me here. It felt good and comfortable and also scared the shit out of me.

I smiled at her. “I’m working on it, Mags.”

I thought this would be weird. I thought it would feel like failure, but it was turning out to be an awakening of sorts. Maybe Nora was right. Maybe my next chapter had already started…