Page 69 of The Havenport Collection

“Max retaliated against me because I wouldn’t sleep with him.

He did this. He set me up. And I want his blood.

” It was the first time I had said it out loud, but it was the truth.

I wanted to sue. I wanted to take down Max Shapiro and every person who enabled him to hurt me.

And I wanted to force a reckoning in the legal profession.

I wanted transparency so women would get a fair shot in the industry.

But was I really capable of achieving all this?

My own mother certainly didn't think so.

Emily put her arm around me and squeezed. “I love you, Astrid. And I want you to get justice. But prepare yourself. He is a powerful, rich, middle-aged white man, right?”

I nodded.

“So all the scales are tipped in his favor. It’s not fair. But it’s also not surprising,” she said.

“I know that. But I just can’t accept it.

” And that was the truth. The firm trained me.

It was the best, and I was the best. I wanted that partnership.

I deserved it. I had billed more hours, worked on more pitches, done more pro bono, and kissed more partners’ and clients’ asses than anyone in the building.

“Ultimately, it’s your word against his.”

“I know. And that’s why I’m so angry.”

She squeezed me tighter, and I rested my head on her shoulder.

“How much does your mom know?” she asked tentatively.

“She knows enough,” I replied. “She called me this morning.”

“That explains your mood. Let me guess, you got the ‘I’m disappointed’ speech?”

“Oh, you know it.”

She laughed. “Remember when I got caught with peppermint schnapps at my junior prom? My mom called your mom to give me the lecture. I still remember it. I think I have PTSD.”

“That’s my mom. She does it to criminals all day. No one is better at expressing disappointment than Justice Wentworth.”

“True. But Astrid, you are a grown-ass woman. You don’t have to please your mom or your law firm or anyone else. Take care of Astrid.”

“I’m trying.”

“And why are you in such a rush to go back anyway? You have Declan now. You are making friends here.”

“I know. I like it here, a lot actually. I loved coming here as a kid. It always felt safe and welcoming, you know? Which is why my first thought was to come here when everything happened. And Havenport has not let me down. It’s been great. But I don’t have a job.”

Emily rolled her big blue eyes at me. “Oh please, Astrid, I know you don’t need money.” She wasn’t wrong. I was lucky. My parents paid for my education so I had no debt. And Burns & Glenn had compensated me very generously for my labor.

“I can’t retire at thirty-two, Emily.”

“Taking a few months off is not retiring. Plus you have your dad’s trust, right?”

“It technically became mine when I turned thirty. But I haven’t touched it.”

“So you have quite the safety net, sweetie. Most people would kill for a tenth of that.”

I knew I was lucky, and it made me feel ungrateful. The truth was that I didn’t have to worry about money at the moment. But I still wanted to earn and succeed on my own. Not because my mother was a judge and not because my father had made a few good investments in the nineties.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave? What about Declan?”

I shrugged and studied my cold feet. I really needed to buy some winter boots while I was here. I had never spent so much time outside in my life.

“Astrid. Don’t be a dumbass. He is really into you.

And I’ve known him for almost my entire life and he was a confirmed bachelor.

He is not the dating type. He especially isn’t the publicly dating and PDA type.

” She took a big gulp of coffee and pinned me with her best mom look.

“And you obviously like him too, or you wouldn’t be dating him. ”

“It’s fake.” Dammit. I shouldn’t have said that.

She whipped her head around, dirty-blonde hair flying. “What now?”

Before I could respond, she put up her hand.

“Wait, hold on.” She stood up and walked to the edge of the deck.

“Ezra, put that down. We do not throw rocks at birds.” She turned back to me and continued, “I am actually worried he may be a sociopath. Hopefully the others will put me in a nice home with the good drugs so I don’t have to watch the TV coverage. ”

I looked at the kids in the back of the yard. “Is Jacob riding his bike down the slide? Oh, shit. With no shoes and no helmet?”

Emily observed the situation and sat back down next to me. “He’s fine. Don’t judge me, Astrid. You have no idea. Every time I popped out one of these little shits I lost a little bit more of my mind. I am a shell of a woman these days.” She shuddered, and I kept an eye on the kids.

“So hold on,” Emily said. “Why are you fake dating Declan? It’s not like you couldn’t get a real boyfriend in a hot minute. And Declan? I’ve seen women stand in line just to talk to him and experience his smolder up close.”

That made me jealous. My eyes narrowed and I got antsy. “No, it’s not like that. Please, please don’t tell anyone. He would be devastated if anyone found out. And embarrassed. I can’t believe I spilled. I keep secrets for a living.”

“Oh sweetie,” she said, patting my hand, “I am just that persuasive. And your secret is safe, especially because I don’t think this will be fake for long. I give you a week before things get real and you forget this fake shit. But please explain to me why you need a fake boyfriend?”

“I have to go to that legal ball in March to accept an award.”

“And you couldn't find a date on Tinder?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “First of all, I was not on Tinder. And second, online dating is not for me. I tried and I failed, okay? Declan is my friend and I have to go to the gala.”

“Oh, right. Yes. You have to go. Fuck those fuckers.” I imagined the swear jar in her house must be overflowing at this point.

“I was going to skip it. But I realized that made me look guilty and ashamed, and I’m neither of those things. I am going to show up with my head held high.”

“And a smoking-hot date?”

“Precisely.”

“Good call. He will absolutely intimidate everyone, and he is so attractive all the wives and gay men will be drooling over him.”

I smiled. He really was that hot.

“Got it. So Declan can conveniently be your date. What about him? Why on earth does he need a fake girlfriend?”

“His mother.”

Emily nodded. “Ah. I can see that. She is relentless. We’re in the same meditation group and she seems all mellow and zen, but when it comes to her sons she is pretty fierce.”

“I can imagine. I haven’t met her, but I hear she’s…intense.”

Emily nodded. “Oh yes. So he’s lying to his family. That seems weird. They are all so close.”

“Listen, it’s not my story to tell. He is sensitive about his family and falling short of their expectations. And given the situation I’ve gotten myself into, I can’t exactly judge, now can I?”

“No, you’re right.”

“So I am just going to be the best fake girlfriend I can be. We are going to Liam and Cece’s party next month and that will be the big test.”

She smiled and nodded at me like I was one of her kids. “I don’t understand why this is fake. Why not just date?”

“Because it’s fake. That’s what it is.”

“You say that. But is it really fake in your head? In your heart? What about your lady bits, Astrid? Does your vagina think it’s fake?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Of course my vagina didn’t think it was fake. My vagina had a mind of her own around Declan. Just thinking about him made me clench my thighs together.

Emily was still staring at me. “I don’t know what I want. I like him. A lot.”

“In a sexual way?”

Emily could be so dense sometimes. “Yes, in a sexual way. You have eyes. I don’t need to tell you he is scorching hot.”

“Yes, sweetie, I’ve been married ten years but even I could see his hotness from space.”

“Yes. He is solar flare hot. And it’s difficult not to rub up against him whenever I see him. Nora gave me a vibrator as a present, and it’s getting some use.”

Emily laughed. “Of course she did. Nora is the best. Also, why didn’t you have a vibrator?”

“Stay focused, Emily.”

“Astrid, he’s interested. Look at you. And he’s inviting you over and hanging out with you? He’s into you. Just go for it.”

“I can’t. I’m the one who set the ground rules. I was the one who negotiated the terms. I can’t be the one that breaks.”

“Aaah. So you want him to make the first move?”

“Yes. No. No, I don’t want anyone to make any moves.” I stood up, getting frustrated. “If he makes a move, I will be powerless to resist and then things will get complicated.”

Emily shook her head at me. “All the best stuff is complicated. Simple isn’t fun, kid.”