Page 297 of The Havenport Collection

Sam

I missed Gio. There. I said it. He had been in France now for more than a week, and although he texted me every single day, they were friend texts. They were “how are you?” texts and “hang in there!” texts.

I wanted the other kind. The intimate, dirty ones. Texts that at least hinted at the beautiful intimacy that we had shared and how much our relationship had evolved in a few short weeks. But we were back in the friend zone. And I only had myself to blame.

Because I was the delusional idiot who thought we would have a fling and then everything would go back to normal.

I thought I would smile and enjoy the sexy memories while focusing on the more pressing issues in my life.

But that’s not what happened. Instead I longed for his touch, his strength, his kindness.

I missed waking up with him next to me, sometimes snoring, sometimes smiling. Always Gio.

It certainly didn’t help matters that I didn’t have much to do besides feel terrible.

Between frequent runs to the bathroom, I had to deal with the extreme fatigue and dehydration.

I spent most days trying to sleep and most nights sick and miserable.

So suffice it to say I was not in the mood when Nora called and told me to be ready in fifteen minutes.

“Dress in layers, there will be a bathroom close by, and bring Xena.”

I rolled my eyes after hanging up the phone; the last thing I wanted was to go anywhere. Nora was so pretty and glamorous, and I was feeling more and more like a haggard sea witch every single day.

But the thought of another evening within the four walls of this house made me feel even worse. So I grabbed one of Gio’s flannel shirts to wear over my hoodie and leashed up Xena, who was already wagging her tail with excitement.

After jumping in Nora’s car, we headed over to the Thompson Farm, where she drove down a dirt road toward the fire area. When we got out of the car, Xena ran over to Rose and Yael’s dogs, eagerly sniffing their butts and wanting to play. The four of them took off running and barking happily.

Nora led me over to a huge plush recliner. “What is this doing here?” Everyone else was seated on Adirondack chairs.

“I made Callum carry that from my office for you,” Violet said. “It’s a throne for our queen!” She stood up and hugged me, and before I could catch my breath, Astrid was hugging me too.

“Stop hogging her,” Rose complained. “She was my friend first.”

“You will never stop playing the older sister card,” Violet complained, and Rose responded by sticking her tongue out at her.

I made my way around, hugging everyone. Maggie, Emily, Cece, Nora, Astrid, Rose, and Yael. The entire girl gang was here. I was thrilled, but a bit confused.

“Gio made me promise to keep an eye on you,” Nora explained before I could even ask the question. “And you know me, I always want my coven around.”

I settled into my chair while Yael threw logs onto the giant fire.

It was warm and cozy, and every few minutes, Xena trotted over to check on me.

It had quickly become one of her habits, always making sure I was still there.

I didn’t know how to tell her that I might not always be around.

It was hard enough to admit to myself, never mind to this sweet animal who I had promised to love and care for forever.

Did I need an estate plan for my dog? Astrid was a lawyer; I should ask her.

But this didn’t seem like the right occasion.

Wine was passed around and Rose made a massive batch of popcorn over the open fire while everyone caught up on one another’s lives. Cece complained about the size of her belly and the constant need to pee while everyone speculated if it was a boy or a girl.

“Girl,” Nora pronounced with certainty. “I can feel it.”

“It’s a Quinn,” Astrid quipped. “They only make boys.”

“We will find out on the big day,” Cece mused, “and until then I just need to survive. This little bean likes to have dance parties in the middle of the night. If it’s not dancing on my bladder then it’s drop kicking me in the kidneys.”

“Kicking technique is innate,” Yael mused while Emily threw popcorn at her and everyone laughed.

“So, since you have been welcomed into the circle of trust, you mind telling us what on earth is going on between you and my brother?”

I shrank back into the comfy chair, wishing it could swallow me up. I had enough trouble justifying my actions in my head, and the thought of having to explain myself out loud was overwhelming.

“Give her a minute,” Cece said, shooting Nora a look. “You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not comfortable with, sweetie. We get it. You’ve got a lot going on.”

Maggie smiled and nodded. “I went through a rough patch with my husband last year, and it wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.

But you know what? These crazy ladies really helped me sort through things and get my head on straight.

” She leaned over and put her arm around her sister.

“And I am better for it. So if you want emotional support and snacks, you’ve come to the right place. ”

I laughed. I was new to this group, but I could feel the trust between them and wanted to feel it for myself. I never had many girlfriends, aside from Rose, and had certainly never been part of a group. I bit my lip. “Gio and I had a fling.”

The collective gasp made me rethink my honesty.

Nora jumped up and started dancing obnoxiously. “I knew it. I knew it. Pay up!”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “You are so annoying when you win a bet. Pass me more popcorn.”

“A bet?” I was confused.

“Oh, sweet Sam, I know you’ve been gone a while, but this is Havenport,” Emily explained. “The nosiest small town on the Eastern Seaboard. Everyone knew something was going to happen, so we started a betting pool on when. Nora went all-in after the Fourth of July, and it looks like she won.”

“Actually, it started before then,” I said sheepishly. “Before he left for Italy.”

“Shit,” Nora yelled. “Even I didn’t have it starting that early. You go, girl.”

“Remember that night we all went to the Tipsy Whale together?”

The collective chorus of whistles brought the dogs sprinting over, hoping to get in on the action, tails wagging eagerly. I offered Xena some popcorn while I told the story.

“And I knew I had to end it,” I offered weakly as I took in the assembled faces around the fire.

“I can’t pursue a real relationship right now.

I’m having deadly chemicals pumped into my veins every week and am about to have the first of several surgeries.

The next few months are going to be brutal, to say nothing of the next few years. ”

“All the more reason to spend time with the people you love,” Maggie whispered. “The hard times are what define us, what help us figure out what we want. And if Gio wants you, then just think how much better this experience could be with him by your side.”

“I can’t ask that of him.”

“I don’t think you have to.”

“And I have to think of my career, even if I don’t love it. When I’m recovered—Lord knows when that will be—I am moving to DC. I need to get my life back.”

There was a collective sigh around the fire. “Okay, okay. Let me handle this one,” Astrid said to the women. “They already went through this with me,” she explained. “And your career is not your life. A job does not define who you are and what you are about.”

Everyone burst into applause. “That’s not about you,” Astrid explained the clapping.

“I may have been a workaholic who defined all my self-worth through the amount of hours I was able to bill. And I’ve been on a Havenport detox for more than a year and finally realize that there is so much more to life. ”

“You can build a satisfying career anywhere,” Nora said. “You are so accomplished and smart.”

“And careers look different than they used to,” Maggie explained. “Don’t go running to something because you feel like you have to. You have an opportunity to think about what you really want to do.”

“And,” Astrid interrupted, “there may be local opportunities for you as well. I meant what I said about the Crisis Center.”

I nodded. I didn’t want to seem rude, but I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel and take a job here, no matter how intriguing it might sound.

Maggie had a point though—things were different now.

I could work remotely or do consulting or take on other types of projects.

I didn’t have to go back to banking and the hours and the suits and the travel. At least, maybe not right away.

“Just think about it,” Nora said. “Because my brother is in love with you. And I suspect you might be in love with him too.”

I stared into the fire, avoiding the sets of eyes staring at me.

I couldn’t say it, couldn’t admit it out loud.

Of course I was in love with Gio. But that still didn’t mean anything.

I had cancer. And that had to be my sole focus right now.

When I was better, then I’d figure the rest out.

Because right now, I barely had enough energy to get through the day.

And I knew that if I wanted a future with Gio, or even with Xena, I was going to have to fight like hell.